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  1. #1
    jgh34 Guest

    Unhappy What is the age limit for a child to choose?

    What is the name of your state? Oregon

    Does anyone know when a child can choose to live with the other parent?
    I am a father of two and I have joint custody with my ex-wife, but my son, who is now 9 years old, wants to live with me. My daughter,who is only 3 years old, has quite a long way to go before she can choose.
    I have taken care of both of my children since they were born, and the recent custody study found that we were both good parents, but because she is the "mother", they were placed in her home as primary. I realize that the evaluators did what they thought was right, but they missed so much!!! My children would be much better off in my home due to the alcohol issues that my ex-wife has. But because she didn't have a police record, all the witnesses in the world didn't help my kids. They have to live with her until they are old enough to choose. Unless she is caught drinking and driving and cited, my children don't have a prayer. My son really wants away, but my daughter isn't old enough to realize quit yet. It's pretty bad, when my son can imitate a drunk. Please help me.

  2. #2
    Grandma B Guest
    Children can never choose where they wish to live. Based on maturity (rather than age), most judges will entertain their desires in making custody decisions, but it's the judge who makes the decision.

  3. #3
    Taz93 Guest
    Gramma B is right. Just on tuesday, I was in court here in Mass. and a father wanted the judge to listen to his daughter who is 14 and wants to live with him.....He was denied. He felt the daughter should stay with the mother.

    Also....it is NOT unusual for a son of 9 to want to go live with his father. I would suggest though, that you stop telling him (if you are) that his mom is bad..etc. that is PAS and just document everything and keep an eagle eye on the kids..I hope this helps.

  4. #4
    jgh34 Guest
    Thank you for the input. No we don't say anything about his mother to him or around him. That would be really hard for him if he heard all of it or even some of it. I'll check with an attorney, and go from there. Just thought someone might be able to help.
    Thank you again for the replies.

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