M
mommyski
Guest
What is the name of your state? NC
Little background first: Ex and I have been divorced since 1992. We had 2 girls together who are now at the ages of 14 and 12. I left him because he was physically, mentally and emotionally abusive to me. He threatened to kill me if I took his children from him at the time of our divorce. He was good to them and I really never thought he would hurt them, plus the fact that I was scared he would kill me. So I left the girls with him. ( I know I'm going to hear some criticism on this). Our divorce papers say nothing about who has custody but says that the separation papers are incorporated into the divorce. I can't find the separation papers to get the exact wording but I believe it says joint custody with father having physical custody. I pay child support but have gotten a bit behind over the years because of pregancies, being laid off, etc. I haven't missed a payment in over a yr now. I live 2 hours from the girls but get them as often as possible, usually every other weekend.
Ex: He remarried a few days after our divorce and has been with the woman since then. She has been cheating on him for the past 2 months and wants a divorce now. He does not work, lives on disability and the child support I pay. He's health is real bad from years of drinking and he still continues to get drunk almost every day. Lately he has been very mean to the oldest girl. Screams at her for everything. Last week he hit her in the face and pushed her against the counter choking her.
Me: I am remarried (3yrs) to a man in the military, although we are having martial problems right now. I have two other children. I am currently a stay at home mom but am looking for work and will be going back to finish getting my associates degree next spring.
Situation: My daughters are currently wanted to come stay with me for a few months to see how they would like living with me. Partly because they just want to be with me and their other siblings, because of their dad's drinking, and because of his actions from last week (the abuse). They are worried about him drinking more since his wife has left him. I want it to be more than temporary.
Questions: First, with them saying they just want to try it (and I want to honor their wishes and not force them to stay, at least not yet) ... what kind of papers would I need to have drawn up, temp custody, guardianship, what? Or nothing since we have joint but the father having physical confuses me. I mean since it's only going to be for 2 months do I need to have anything special? Second .... If they decide they want to stay longer and if I continue to worry about the ex abusing my children (I just have her side, I want to speak with him about it also) what are my chances of getting full custody after him having them so long? Will his drinking, abusive behavior, lifestyle, marital status make a difference now? I know this is lengthy .....sorry.
Little background first: Ex and I have been divorced since 1992. We had 2 girls together who are now at the ages of 14 and 12. I left him because he was physically, mentally and emotionally abusive to me. He threatened to kill me if I took his children from him at the time of our divorce. He was good to them and I really never thought he would hurt them, plus the fact that I was scared he would kill me. So I left the girls with him. ( I know I'm going to hear some criticism on this). Our divorce papers say nothing about who has custody but says that the separation papers are incorporated into the divorce. I can't find the separation papers to get the exact wording but I believe it says joint custody with father having physical custody. I pay child support but have gotten a bit behind over the years because of pregancies, being laid off, etc. I haven't missed a payment in over a yr now. I live 2 hours from the girls but get them as often as possible, usually every other weekend.
Ex: He remarried a few days after our divorce and has been with the woman since then. She has been cheating on him for the past 2 months and wants a divorce now. He does not work, lives on disability and the child support I pay. He's health is real bad from years of drinking and he still continues to get drunk almost every day. Lately he has been very mean to the oldest girl. Screams at her for everything. Last week he hit her in the face and pushed her against the counter choking her.
Me: I am remarried (3yrs) to a man in the military, although we are having martial problems right now. I have two other children. I am currently a stay at home mom but am looking for work and will be going back to finish getting my associates degree next spring.
Situation: My daughters are currently wanted to come stay with me for a few months to see how they would like living with me. Partly because they just want to be with me and their other siblings, because of their dad's drinking, and because of his actions from last week (the abuse). They are worried about him drinking more since his wife has left him. I want it to be more than temporary.
Questions: First, with them saying they just want to try it (and I want to honor their wishes and not force them to stay, at least not yet) ... what kind of papers would I need to have drawn up, temp custody, guardianship, what? Or nothing since we have joint but the father having physical confuses me. I mean since it's only going to be for 2 months do I need to have anything special? Second .... If they decide they want to stay longer and if I continue to worry about the ex abusing my children (I just have her side, I want to speak with him about it also) what are my chances of getting full custody after him having them so long? Will his drinking, abusive behavior, lifestyle, marital status make a difference now? I know this is lengthy .....sorry.