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What is considered an unfit parent?

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Pearl72

Member
What is the name of your state? Colorado

My ex and his wife are trying to pressure me into signing a letter and notarizing it, stating that I will allow my daughter to go live with her dad and her stepmom, indefinitely and that they will have full physical and legal custody, and i will be given reasonable visitation, upon agreement of Father and step-mom. They want this letter so that Step-mom can put my daughter on her insurance at her job. I have a medical condition (Bipolar Disorder) that they feel puts my daughter at "risk" and her situation with me does not warrant her best interests. If that were the case, my condition was brought up in court the first time, the judge placed my daughter with me, sole physical custody, and her father Every Other weekend, And every other Tuesday.

I have been TRYING to work out a reasonable plan that would offer my daughter more time with her Dad, and his family -- but they are pressuring me BIG time, to switch things around -- To give me Every other weekend, and One full day every other week. 2 Weeks in the summer. In addition, i would pay child support to them. They are saying they will take the issue to court, and prove me unfit -- and I will get nothing compared to what they are trying to offer me now.

With my condition, (which they are well aware of), I am not supposed to have a lot of stress in my life, as it affects my health. This is totally stressing me out! They call about 2 times a day seeing if I went and signed a paper yet giving them full physical and legal custody. Im to the point that I have stopped answering the phone.

What is considered an unfit parent? What proof would someone have to have to prove this beyond a reasonable doubt, and with convincing evidence?
 


T

titansfan

Guest
tell ex to stop the harrassment

tell your ex and his wife to stop with the harrasment-you will not sign custody over to your ex-period.this issue has already been decided by a judge.his wife can do nothing legally anyway, she is a legal stranger with no rights.if they dont stop, you may have to get a restraining order forbidding them from contacting you unless it concerns the childs welfare.
 

dallas702

Senior Member
Right. Tell them both to go pound sand. You have a court order that says you have been found to be a fit parent....obviously considered better than your ex...so tell them to back off. Document all the calls and file for a RO if they don't stop. Just make sure you take your meds if you are supposed to, and stay away from any self medication like alcohol or drugs. Do it the right way and you'll be all right.
 

BethIam

Junior Member
They are obviously trying to intimidate you. Don't let them. They are hoping they can scare you into signing the papers. I hate to think it but it sounds like they are taking advantage of your disorder to put the ball back in there court. HANG ON TO THAT BALL!!

I know it's easier said than done, but don't let them push your buttons. They are assuming that you will crack, giving them credibility to their "unfit" claim. You say they are aware of your condition which is what makes me think they are trying to push you over the edge.

I could be wrong, this is based only on what you've written, as it's impossible to know the entire story. The last thing they probably expect you to do is get an attorney. Be strong. The law is on your side.
 

haiku

Senior Member
Pearl72 said:
What is the name of your state? Colorado

My ex and his wife are trying to pressure me into signing a letter and notarizing it, stating that I will allow my daughter to go live with her dad and her stepmom, indefinitely and that they will have full physical and legal custody, and i will be given reasonable visitation, upon agreement of Father and step-mom.

***Quite frankly unless this letter was signed by a judge, it is worthless, and would not change your court ordered custody arrangement. The only thing that could change it is a modification done legally in court. notorized letters mean nothing.

What they are 'asking" is for you to give up all rights to make any decisions in your childs life, and by agreeing to "reasonable visitation" you will likely never get ANY visitation. 'reasonable visitation" should NEVER be agreed on by any parent.****

They want this letter so that Step-mom can put my daughter on her insurance at her job.

***Why? Who insures the child now? And is there a court order already in place for this?****

I have a medical condition (Bipolar Disorder) that they feel puts my daughter at "risk" and her situation with me does not warrant her best interests. If that were the case, my condition was brought up in court the first time, the judge placed my daughter with me, sole physical custody, and her father Every Other weekend, And every other Tuesday.

I have been TRYING to work out a reasonable plan that would offer my daughter more time with her Dad, and his family -- but they are pressuring me BIG time, to switch things around -- To give me Every other weekend, and One full day every other week. 2 Weeks in the summer. In addition, i would pay child support to them. They are saying they will take the issue to court, and prove me unfit -- and I will get nothing compared to what they are trying to offer me now.

***How long ago was this order put into effect?

Have there been any SIGNIFIGANT changes in your condition, your living arrangements, the childs life or schooling?

Once a custody order is done, it is very difficult to change without proof of a MAJOR change that presents a danger to the well being of the child.***

With my condition, (which they are well aware of), I am not supposed to have a lot of stress in my life, as it affects my health. This is totally stressing me out! They call about 2 times a day seeing if I went and signed a paper yet giving them full physical and legal custody. Im to the point that I have stopped answering the phone.

***Continue to not answer the phone, and follow your court papers to the letter.***

What is considered an unfit parent? What proof would someone have to have to prove this beyond a reasonable doubt, and with convincing evidence?
if you were to get a court summons, I would honestly reccomend you seek a lawyer.
 

Pearl72

Member
The court order is nearly 3 years old (november of this year).

There is nothing mentioned in our court minutes about when my ex stated he would provide insurance for our daughter, when we were in front of the judge. Father did have insurance on child "illegally" (he lied and stated that child lived with him, and had her listed under his last name, and not her legal name.) I was not listed as the mother, I couldn't find out anything to my daughter's records, but him and i went to doctors appointments, and i always paid the copayment. I also found out a month AFTER the fact, my ex decides to let me know that they no longer had insurance on her. (This was in october of last year). I then got my daughter on my employer's insurance asap after that. I ended up being laid off from that job in January of this year.

I will have my daughter covered under my current employers insurance starting september 1st. He doesn't want to have to pay half of the premium (making his child support go up)...In the interim, me and my daughter have both been on medicaid for the past few months... I have not put in a modification, due to in november we will get a renewal of information due to it being 3 years... or a review i think... and if THEY Decide that he should pay half, then so be it. The only way that he can get insurance (through his wife's employer) is showing proof that my daughter lives with them. He said his insurance through his employer is really expensive.

What is considered significant changes? We have lived in the same house for the past 8 months, she isn't in school as of yet, but I am hoping to enroll her into a preschool program (which in other posts i have stated that her father is against). I have had a change in my medication that I am required to take, and have the typical side effects which eventually go away with time... (Change of medication just happened like 3 weeks ago). My daughter is in no danger being with me, from what i can see. I have had my current job for the past nearly 6 months. I was laid off from my previous job of 10 months in Janurary, and had to find other work... I work regular day hours, monday through friday.

My mother watches our daughter while I am at work, or she goes to her cousins that live nearby maybe once or twice a week to get some regular kid time in... My mother was in the hospital recently for a few days, so I asked her father if he would like some extra time since I did not have anyone else to watch her with short notice... and he didn't have a problem with that.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
If he thought he had a basis for a custody change he would have already taken you to court. He wouldn't be trying to pressure you into signing paperwork.

Like the other's told you. Tell him that you will no longer discuss the subject with him, that you are not agreeing to a custody change...period.

If he takes it to court....get yourself an attorney.
 

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