What happens when the custodial parent becomes disabled?

[mommyof4]

AN Attorney GAL could be appointed for dad if he is mentally incompetent and also a GAL appointed for child. It is possible and not all that complicated -- IF the mother, father, stepmother and child are in agreement.

But first, wouldn't there have to be a ruling that Dad is mentally incompetent?

I don't doubt it can be done, it's just that it would be more complicated than if Dad were mentally competent and all parties agreed I can't imagine that it wouldn't be expensive.

I also worry that (as horrible as this sounds, it's just that I can't think of a better way to put it) asking Mom if she would allow OP to adopt the child would spur Mom to remove the child from his home. I know that Mom, if she wants it, would have custody and I can't state my opinion on whether or not that would be good for the child. However, I can say that for the past however many years, Mom apparently wasn't interested in having the child with her. I think it would be very sad for the child should Mom decide that she does want the child to live with her out of 'spite' (for lack of a better word.)

This is a sad situation and it seems that OP really has the best interest of the child at heart. My prayers go out to this family.

 

[criss11401]

If Mom wants neither primary physical nor financial responsibility for kiddy, would she be willing to do a TPR stepparent adoption?

I have tried to bring this up as a possibility before, but she is not open to the idea, nor to even discussing it.

While I will freely admit that I do not have the ability to see the situation in a completely impartial manner, I am trying to look out for my step son's best interests. While I am sure his mom does love him, I am not sure that she is willing/able to make decisions that will end in best case scenarios for her child.

 

[ray25]

I'm not a lawyer, just live in North Carolina as well.

All the statutes are online. Chapter 50A

Here is an article in laymen's terms:
North Carolina Child Custody

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Is dad receiving SSDI? Is the child receiving from dad's benefits?

 

[criss11401]

ray25: Thank you for those links. They are quite helpful!

Is dad receiving SSDI? Is the child receiving from dad's benefits?

Dad is not receiving SSDI. We are in the process of applying, but he has not had anything other than the first interview. I didn't know children could receive benefits vicariously like that...there is a lot I don't yet understand about that whole process.

I obviously want to guard the well being of my husband, otherwise this post would be irrelevant. But I am not willing to proceed legally in a manner that would potentially harm my child or leave him open to a less than desirable living arrangement for the sake of bypassing roadblocks in his father's care, if that makes sense. I am more concerned about protecting my child than my husband at this point.

 

[LdiJ]

If dad could be proven to be mental incompetent, then that would open the door for other relatives to challenge stepmom having custody if mom does not want it. That would include both sets of grandparents and perhaps even aunts and uncles.

If mom was in agreement to stepmom having custody that might mitigate things to a great extent, but it would still open the door.

Adoption could be a very complicated issue if dad is not competent to agree to an adoption, even if mom would.