• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

What happens when the custodial parent becomes disabled?

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

criss11401

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? North Carolina


I am the step mother of an eight year old child. His father, my husband, is the primary custodian per his custody agreement filed at the time of his divorce in 2004, and he and the child's mother share joint physical custody.


The father has since developed a debilitating mental illness. Due to his father's illness and his mother's inability to be a part of his life, I have been my step son's primary caregiver for the past 4 years or so. His father's illness has worsened recently to the point that he is no longer able to care for himself.


I am completely aware that I have no legal standing whatsoever with regards to my step son. My question is about the custody of my stepson should I become my husband's legal guardian. Would he retain custody of his child? Would custody revert to the mother? If she gets custody would the child need to live with her, as he is currently not in her care? Is there any type of provision for this situation or is it at the descretion of a judge?


Thank you in advance for your help! It is much appreciated!
 


criss11401

Junior Member
his mother's inability to be a part of his life
Without going into the person details of her life, she has made decisions that do not involve her child as an active part of her life. These include her lack of permanent residence and infrequent visitation of the child. While she does see him approximately 6-8 times per year for 1-2 days at a time, he does not live with her.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
Without going into the person details of her life, she has made decisions that do not involve her child as an active part of her life. These include her lack of permanent residence and infrequent visitation of the child. While she does see him approximately 6-8 times per year for 1-2 days at a time, he does not live with her.
Okay. Well Mom will get custody.
 

criss11401

Junior Member
Thank you for the responses.


Mom is aware of Dad's illness. Mom has said she does not wish to be physically responsible for her son, but she has also stated in past conversations that she wants her financial obligation eliminated. I am trying to find a solution that is in the best interest of all parties but has the proper legal backing to protect the child.


Would the same apply in the case of power of attorney/healthcare power of attorney? I am under the assumption that whenever legal paperwork is filed, the presiding judge would want to make certain the minor is taken into consideration. If this is not the case with these type documents, let me know!
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
If Mom wants neither primary physical nor financial responsibility for kiddy, would she be willing to do a TPR stepparent adoption?
 

mommyof4

Senior Member
If Mom wants neither primary physical nor financial responsibility for kiddy, would she be willing to do a TPR stepparent adoption?
The problem with that would be that Dad is apparently mentally incompetent to be a party to the proceedings. At best, that is going to be entirely complicated, drawn out, and expensive.

OP, have you talked to Mom about this? If so, have you broached the topic of you retaining legal and physical custody of the child? That's going to be your best bet. Of course, as she would be voluntarily granting you custody, the agreement could be challenged and overturned in the future, but really, as she hasn't seem inclined to have her child in her custody within the past 4 years, it seems that would not be a huge concern.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Sorry, yes - I think I ASSumed that Dad was physically unable to care for himself and not necessarily mentally unable to do so.

Sad situation, nonetheless :(
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
The problem with that would be that Dad is apparently mentally incompetent to be a party to the proceedings. At best, that is going to be entirely complicated, drawn out, and expensive.

OP, have you talked to Mom about this? If so, have you broached the topic of you retaining legal and physical custody of the child? That's going to be your best bet. Of course, as she would be voluntarily granting you custody, the agreement could be challenged and overturned in the future, but really, as she hasn't seem inclined to have her child in her custody within the past 4 years, it seems that would not be a huge concern.
AN Attorney GAL could be appointed for dad if he is mentally incompetent and also a GAL appointed for child. It is possible and not all that complicated -- IF the mother, father, stepmother and child are in agreement.
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top