+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 21
  1. #1
    criss11401 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    6

    What happens when the custodial parent becomes disabled?

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? North Carolina


    I am the step mother of an eight year old child. His father, my husband, is the primary custodian per his custody agreement filed at the time of his divorce in 2004, and he and the child's mother share joint physical custody.


    The father has since developed a debilitating mental illness. Due to his father's illness and his mother's inability to be a part of his life, I have been my step son's primary caregiver for the past 4 years or so. His father's illness has worsened recently to the point that he is no longer able to care for himself.


    I am completely aware that I have no legal standing whatsoever with regards to my step son. My question is about the custody of my stepson should I become my husband's legal guardian. Would he retain custody of his child? Would custody revert to the mother? If she gets custody would the child need to live with her, as he is currently not in her care? Is there any type of provision for this situation or is it at the descretion of a judge?


    Thank you in advance for your help! It is much appreciated!
  2. #2
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    23,868
    his mother's inability to be a part of his life
    Please explain this statement.
  3. #3
    criss11401 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    6
    his mother's inability to be a part of his life
    Without going into the person details of her life, she has made decisions that do not involve her child as an active part of her life. These include her lack of permanent residence and infrequent visitation of the child. While she does see him approximately 6-8 times per year for 1-2 days at a time, he does not live with her.
  4. #4
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    23,868
    Quote Originally Posted by criss11401 View Post
    Without going into the person details of her life, she has made decisions that do not involve her child as an active part of her life. These include her lack of permanent residence and infrequent visitation of the child. While she does see him approximately 6-8 times per year for 1-2 days at a time, he does not live with her.
    Okay. Well Mom will get custody.
  5. #5
    Zigner is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    53,213
    Quote Originally Posted by Blue Meanie View Post
    Okay. Well Mom will get custody.
    Mom CAN get custody. However, it seems that the mother is aware of the situation and has done nothing for 4 years now.
  6. #6
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    23,868
    Quote Originally Posted by Zigner View Post
    Mom CAN get custody. However, it seems that the mother is aware of the situation and has done nothing for 4 years now.
    Who's to say mom is aware??
  7. #7
    Zigner is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    53,213
    Quote Originally Posted by Blue Meanie View Post
    Who's to say mom is aware??
    Agreed - I ASSumed that, since the mom has had visitation with the child many times over the past 4 years, she would be aware. I could be wrong...
  8. #8
    Silverplum is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Grand Junction, CO
    Posts
    25,552
    How 'bout putting it this way? Mom will get custody if she wants it.
  9. #9
    Zephyr is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Funkytowwwwwn
    Posts
    9,043
    Quote Originally Posted by Silverplum View Post
    How 'bout putting it this way? Mom will get custody if she wants it.
    Poi-fect!
  10. #10
    Zigner is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    53,213
    Quote Originally Posted by Silverplum View Post
    How 'bout putting it this way? Mom will get custody if she wants it.
    Yep - excellent!
  11. #11
    criss11401 is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    6
    Thank you for the responses.


    Mom is aware of Dad's illness. Mom has said she does not wish to be physically responsible for her son, but she has also stated in past conversations that she wants her financial obligation eliminated. I am trying to find a solution that is in the best interest of all parties but has the proper legal backing to protect the child.


    Would the same apply in the case of power of attorney/healthcare power of attorney? I am under the assumption that whenever legal paperwork is filed, the presiding judge would want to make certain the minor is taken into consideration. If this is not the case with these type documents, let me know!
  12. #12
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Working with Chloe O'Brian
    Posts
    39,286
    If Mom wants neither primary physical nor financial responsibility for kiddy, would she be willing to do a TPR stepparent adoption?
  13. #13
    mommyof4 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Ohio via TX
    Posts
    3,940
    Quote Originally Posted by Dogmatique View Post
    If Mom wants neither primary physical nor financial responsibility for kiddy, would she be willing to do a TPR stepparent adoption?
    The problem with that would be that Dad is apparently mentally incompetent to be a party to the proceedings. At best, that is going to be entirely complicated, drawn out, and expensive.

    OP, have you talked to Mom about this? If so, have you broached the topic of you retaining legal and physical custody of the child? That's going to be your best bet. Of course, as she would be voluntarily granting you custody, the agreement could be challenged and overturned in the future, but really, as she hasn't seem inclined to have her child in her custody within the past 4 years, it seems that would not be a huge concern.
  14. #14
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Working with Chloe O'Brian
    Posts
    39,286
    Sorry, yes - I think I ASSumed that Dad was physically unable to care for himself and not necessarily mentally unable to do so.

    Sad situation, nonetheless
  15. #15
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    52,570
    Quote Originally Posted by mommyof4 View Post
    The problem with that would be that Dad is apparently mentally incompetent to be a party to the proceedings. At best, that is going to be entirely complicated, drawn out, and expensive.

    OP, have you talked to Mom about this? If so, have you broached the topic of you retaining legal and physical custody of the child? That's going to be your best bet. Of course, as she would be voluntarily granting you custody, the agreement could be challenged and overturned in the future, but really, as she hasn't seem inclined to have her child in her custody within the past 4 years, it seems that would not be a huge concern.
    AN Attorney GAL could be appointed for dad if he is mentally incompetent and also a GAL appointed for child. It is possible and not all that complicated -- IF the mother, father, stepmother and child are in agreement.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.

Similar Threads

  1. Custodial parent not allowing court ordered visitation to non-custodial parent
    By carleejo77 in forum Child Custody & Visitation
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 03-22-2012, 04:00 AM
  2. Replies: 24
    Last Post: 03-16-2011, 10:09 AM
  3. Parenting time refusal/harassment by custodial parent towards non-custodial parent
    By endofbrandy2010 in forum Child Custody & Visitation
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 09-19-2010, 10:18 AM
  4. Can non-custodial parent charge custodial parent for child care costs during visits
    By exhausted in NY in forum Child Custody & Visitation
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 07-30-2009, 12:29 PM
  5. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 03-01-2002, 10:34 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

© 1995-2012 Advice Company, All Rights Reserved

FreeAdvice® has been providing millions of consumers with outstanding advice, free, since 1995. While not a substitute for personal advice from a licensed professional, it is available AS IS, subject to our Disclaimer and Terms & Conditions Of Use.