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What Are My Step Parent Rights- What Can I Do?

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W

WWJD

Guest
What is the name of your state? WE JUST MOVED TO PA FROM NY. ONE MOTHER W/KID LIVES IN TN. THE OTHER STILL IN NY. My husband and I are legally married. He has 2 kids out of wedlock. We continuously get harressed my the mothers. Continuous nasty phone calls, cursing yelling around the kids, We drove 19 hours to see them and had to sit in the living room for 30 mins with our child, because "she doesn't trust us" or "u might steal her" (in 9 years we never had a problem) . We have been a part of their lives always. We have court orders to see them and don't. It's a living nightmare just to be apart of the kids lives. What are my rights as the stepmom to call and have a relationship with them. What are my husband and my rights not to be harrased and have our everyday lives filled with negative, ungodly acts by these woman?? Please help us!!! One child lives in NY. The other in TN. We live in PA. The one in TN always has her hand out for $$ and threats of "I'm calling the cops if you call my house""your going to jail if you don't send me $$,yet, she calls us continuously and harrasses us!! We wer paying here cash every week and she lied and said she never got a dime. She stole my husbands ss# and put her electric in his name! The electric co. won't do a thing! I ask her not to call us only have the child call. She tells me it's not my bussiness she can call if she wants , she has a legal responsibility to call my husband when ever she wants. WHAT can we do!! They won't let us be a part of their lives but they still harrass us? we want to be parents not referees! we have always been there but its always a fight everyday!
 


tigger22472

Senior Member
Rights of Step-Parents

Step Parents have the right to:

1. Wash sk clothes
2. To Clean sk room
3. To drive sk to activites when absolutely no one else can
4. Make sure sk have food in their stomach...
5. To love our sk

Beyond that we have no rights. We are legal strangers to our sk. We don't carry the rights to:

1. visitation
2. decisions about education
3. to disapline sk
4. to do ANYTHING that one or both parents don't approve

Mom does not have to let you have any sort of relationship with the child whatsoever. We have to be careful about referring to sk as "our" kids.... and using the word "we" when refering to custody and visitation. "we" don't get either of those things. So in the end whatever mom says is what we do and bitch about it behind her back and home dad will say something. If he doesn't that's between you and he.

Do we like it? NO.. will it change? Probably not
 
W

WWJD

Guest
:confused: i forgot the mother in ny has full custody in which we have a court order since 6 yrs ago for visitation we have NEVER been granted. She take the child on trailer visitsto the prison to see the stepdad (violent crime) but doesnt trus us?? converted the child muslim without dads consent. The other mother lives in TN. No custody determined. She left the state without consent in 2001 jan. sinse we have seen the child 2 times, the one time we drove to TN in Jan 03, we sepent 30 mins in the moms home and then in feb 02 the mom came by for 30 mins to visit on her way to a prison visit to the other father of her other 2 kids she has. (drug crimes) PLease advice!!
 
W

WWJD

Guest
well I do realize I have no "legal rights" to the kids but the issue is also that we never see them but are continuously being harrassed?? we all lived in NY together from brth till 2001 we all have 50/50 visitation with alot of fighting and arguing. Now it's just the fights just to talkto them. We don't even see them?
 
W

WWJD

Guest
so theres nothing we can do? Do all the states I mentioned differ or are they all the same, Step parents have no rigths?
 

tigger22472

Senior Member
This not to bash you but if I don't say this someone else is going to come and say it to you.
You continually use the word WE... judges don't like that. It's not
"we have 50/50 visitation".. Your husband has 50/50 visitation. If your husband ever takes this to court unless you can hold back on these emotions I'd suggest you not go. We can be there to support our mates but judges do not like even spouses interferring with this stuff... ALL of this is YOUR husbands responsiblity to take care of. He's the one who has to file for some sort of custody for the one child or file against the other mother for anything he sees as unfit or doesn't agree with. If he has a visitation schedule that fits with the move then he needs to file contempt. If he doesn't HE needs to get one.
 
W

WWJD

Guest
ok , so all of the states are the same. Well I did read some where that in going to court it be be in the legal documents that I do have othere rights and some say is that true? Could I be added the the visitation? I know only 'HE' can file and "he" has the rigths. But what rights do "we" have to be continuously harassed. I do have rigths while the children are in my home? YES?
 
W

WWJD

Guest
what rights do the mothers have to harrass us and keep us from the kids. Can we have some one in the middle a liason the comunicate with my husband and the mother because all she does is yell at us and fight./ never does she call about the child??
 

tigger22472

Senior Member
Technically unless you have written consent by a parent you dont' technically have the right take the child to the doctor. It depend on the area you live. BY LAW..... no you have ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHTS WHATSOEVER when it comes to the child. In my town it may not be questioned because it's small however larger towns are different.

As far as being harrassed that is a separate issue... sure you have rights... Get a RO against her. Prevent her from calling and harrassing you... however you're getting into a sticky situation because she would still have the right to call regarding the child.

What rights are you being told you have by others? The Rights listed in my first post are basically what you have. Judges can amaze you and MIGHT put you in the order for visitation... but more then likely it doesn't happen.
 

I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

Senior Member
My response:

Have your husband hire an attorney in each State so that all of your "issues" can be addressed in court. Nothing will happen until your husbands takes the first step.

Try to have a good weekend, and thanks for writing.

IAAL
 
W

WWJD

Guest
I was readingt thru the forums Im getting mixed reviews some say step parents do have rigths some say they don't.. Are u a sp and how do I or can I fight legally to even have rights the sk call me mom and the bm their step mom?
 
W

WWJD

Guest
no u are getting somewhere I understand what u are saying. If we tell her not to call then she still has the right to call? I have other friends who use liasons to speak between the parents re the child b/c the bm is mentally draining and immature and does not have the childs best interest in mind... The children are 9 and 15 they can call on their own. The bm does not have to call unless it is a "child issue" to discuss. U have to be patient. This situation we have gone thru for 9 years and we have a lot of questions. I appreciate your advice. I was just reading the forums no one told me I had rights, Some did post that the step parent had some rights. Are these just simply poeples opinion and not fact....
 

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