Closed Thread
Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 16 to 30 of 31
  1. #16
    HOPENDEN is offline Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Posts
    39
    I am really sorry for this. I just wanted to know what rights did a step parent have. I know that the step mother can file for anything and stand in on behalf of her husband, all I wanted to know if it was possible and I guess it is. As of right now, there is a court inquiry being done on the whole issues,based on what the attorney told me, the other side went into court in November with uncleaned hands. I am sorry to start anything. thetsgtswife I really respect your knowledge of the power of attorney, the power of attorney isn't going to get her visitation rights nor will it get her custody, it gives her the right to stand in for her husband, just as I have mine. I am going for temp custody until the father returns and the courts will rehear the matter. Thank you all for your help.
  2. #17
    Happy Trails is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    4,432
    HOPENDEN, don't pay any attention to titansfan post. She evidently is having a problem comprehending this thread.
  3. #18
    thetsgtswife is offline Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Over there.....
    Posts
    128
    Quote Originally Posted by HOPENDEN
    I am really sorry for this. I just wanted to know what rights did a step parent have. I know that the step mother can file for anything and stand in on behalf of her husband, all I wanted to know if it was possible and I guess it is. As of right now, there is a court inquiry being done on the whole issues,based on what the attorney told me, the other side went into court in November with uncleaned hands. I am sorry to start anything. thetsgtswife I really respect your knowledge of the power of attorney, the power of attorney isn't going to get her visitation rights nor will it get her custody, it gives her the right to stand in for her husband, just as I have mine. I am going for temp custody until the father returns and the courts will rehear the matter. Thank you all for your help.
    I never said she will get visitation rights, but she can stand for her hubby and uphold his rights for his children. No less, no more.

    You didnt start anything, dont worry about it. You have a right to ask questions and you have the right to get correct answers.


    TSGTSWIFE
  4. #19
    tigger22472 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    Monticello, In
    Posts
    6,742
    I agree that nothing was started and the OP deserves accurate advice. This will NOT be settled (absent a possible temp order) until dad returns. The purpose of this is so that dad's rights are not stomped on while he's deployed. Now, if dad and step-mom have any children together she could possibly be allowed to get standard visitation in dad's place while he's gone in order to keep the relationship between the siblings and not disrupt the flow of things.
  5. #20
    tigger22472 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    Monticello, In
    Posts
    6,742
    There is also the slight chance that the judge won't change anything at all and leave the oldest in Dad's home even though he's not there due to school reasons or whatever. It COULD happen.... WILL it? No-one here can say for sure.
    Last edited by tigger22472; 07-14-2005 at 03:02 PM.
  6. #21
    kpepperz is offline Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Posts
    87
    So...basically the dad never informed you that he was deployed...IN MARCH. Had you not talked to your oldest during the time the dad was deployed and your summer visitation?

    Regardless, you have every right to file for temporary custody given the fact that you ex is deployed and you are the Bio-mom. I cannot see how a power of attorney can over-ride the biological parent's relationship in this case.
  7. #22
    thetsgtswife is offline Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Over there.....
    Posts
    128
    Quote Originally Posted by tigger22472
    There is also the slight chance that the judge won't change anything at all and leave the oldest in Dad's home even though he's not there do to school reasons or whatever. It COULD happen.... WILL it? No-one here can say for sure.
    This is how it worked out for us, step son was left in my care for the year while mom continues her visitation schedule.

    TSGTSWIFE
    Last edited by thetsgtswife; 07-14-2005 at 03:04 PM.
  8. #23
    thetsgtswife is offline Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Over there.....
    Posts
    128
    Quote Originally Posted by kpepperz
    Regardless, you have every right to file for temporary custody given the fact that you ex is deployed and you are the Bio-mom. I cannot see how a power of attorney can over-ride the biological parent's relationship in this case.
    Its not a matter of overridding her rights as a bio parent its a matter of dad giving step mom, or shall I say the military, the right to step up as he would in a court of law in his place so that his voice can be heard through his wife.

    She will still be thought of as step mom and will not gain any rights BUT speaking for her husband she can maintain his rights to his children in his absense if necessay.

    Good question about not knowing he was gone from March on, I know my step son would have told his mom the minute we told him which is why we called her first when we found out my husband would be gone for a year.

    I think they should have told her he would be leaving but maybe they anticipated her seeing this as an opprotunity to run to court and do just what she is doing. Who knows?

    I just know that this will all wait until dad is home, at least Im sure that this is how the court will see it.

    TSGTSWIFE
  9. #24
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    65,918
    I am familiar with tons of these cases....all across the country. I have yet to see a single case of a child being left with stepmom (or stepdad in the case of a deployed mom)...unless mom voluntarily allowed it, or unless mom was legally unfit.

    Mom is going to get temporary custody. That isn't trampling on dad's rights. Its temporarily placing the child with the parent who is currently able to care for the child. The judge won't make it permanent...just temporary until dad returns. That in no way violates the soldiers and sailors relief act.

    Stepmom, cannot represent dad in court...and she has no standing of her own for custody. Again, a judge isn't going to give stepmom temporary custody when there is an available parent to care for the child.

    Stepmom may have a chance at visitation...but its fairly slim. I have seen tons of people argue that stepparents should get visitation rights in a case like this....but again, I am not familiar with any cases where it actually happened.
  10. #25
    psfunkytek Guest

    Ldij is right

    Giving step-mom power of attorney to stand for him in court is NOT the same as having power of attorney to get custody of the kid!!! That's like saying that her husband could give his new wife the deed to mom's house while he's gone. Stepmom can take care of HIS business while HE is gone, but mom is here and and stepmom does NOT get to take care of, nor does she have any power of attorney over bio mom. I'm surprised no one has said this, but dad may NOT have any control over his deployment, but he does have control over his phone, his mail and his mouth and he should have told bio mom that he was leaving and I'm guessing the judge will NOT like that he did not. On the other hand, OP didn't say how old her son is, but does your son not want to come back to you? Not that it matters, Ldij is right, she has no rights to the child. Since mom has another child in her custody, I assume mom hasn't been ruled unfit by a court.
  11. #26
    whatthistime is offline Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    75
    Quote Originally Posted by psfunkytek
    Giving step-mom power of attorney to stand for him in court is NOT the same as having power of attorney to get custody of the kid!!! That's like saying that her husband could give his new wife the deed to mom's house while he's gone. Stepmom can take care of HIS business while HE is gone, but mom is here and and stepmom does NOT get to take care of, nor does she have any power of attorney over bio mom. I'm surprised no one has said this, but dad may NOT have any control over his deployment, but he does have control over his phone, his mail and his mouth and he should have told bio mom that he was leaving and I'm guessing the judge will NOT like that he did not. On the other hand, OP didn't say how old her son is, but does your son not want to come back to you? Not that it matters, Ldij is right, she has no rights to the child. Since mom has another child in her custody, I assume mom hasn't been ruled unfit by a court.
    My ex was deployed to Korea in June of 2000 for a year and my son, who was 14 at the time was told by my ex and his new wife to LIE to me and not tell me that Dad was gone or Dad would go to jail. My son did not tell me that dad was gone until seven months later when he finally realized that what he was being told to do was wrong. When I called my ex's commander, he advised me that all the proper paperwork had been filled out and as far as they were concerned, my ex had his bases covered. I was unable to pursue the situation as I had a brand new baby and barely any funds. And I was stupid. (btw, we were geographically seperate and son had been sent to live with Dad six months prior to help with his "anger" issues against my other, younger son) bad move in hindsight.
    Because of this and other things my ex and his wife have done (PAL), my son barely even talks to me anymore.
    My advice, though not legal really - only "been there" kind of advice - get your child in your home as soon as possible. Do not leave the situation lie. Dad is gone, you are the biological parent. Unless the child has an amazing relationship with the step and you are completely comfy leaving him there. The fact that Dad lied in the beginning by not telling you is a big warning flag.
    Courts frown upon non communication. Dad and step, for whatever reason, lied to you.
    I'm sorry people, but take it at face value. I realize these soldiers who go to war zones are serving their country, but that doesn't give them the right to carte blanche just because they are doing so.
    Give the lady a break and applaud her for being concerned. I wish I'd known about this forum when they hid my son's situation from me.
    Last edited by whatthistime; 07-20-2005 at 02:02 AM.
  12. #27
    legalcuriosity Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by titansfan
    what rights? she has no rights to enforce, period.she is a legal stranger to the kids, and is wasting her time and money if she thinks she can get children she has no legal rights to.
    That is incorrect in this case. Soldiers serving our country have rights -- and are cleary protected by the Act that was mentioned. If the wife has a POA, she DOES have some rights in these cases.

    Look it up and educate yourself.

    [url]http://www.dod.mil/specials/Relief_Act_Revision/[/url]
    Last edited by legalcuriosity; 07-20-2005 at 03:26 AM.
  13. #28
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    65,918
    Quote Originally Posted by legalcuriosity
    That is incorrect in this case. Soldiers serving our country have rights -- and are cleary protected by the Act that was mentioned. If the wife has a POA, she DOES have some rights in these cases.

    Look it up and educate yourself.

    [url]http://www.dod.mil/specials/Relief_Act_Revision/[/url]
    Sorry, but you are misinterpreting that as it relates to this situation.

    The act prevents a judge from taking custody away from dad while he is gone...that is absolutely true. However it does not prevent (nor legally could prevent) a judge from temporarily placing the child with the child's other parent until dad returns. That is the proper legal outcome.

    Someone with a POA cannot represent someone else in court except in limited circumstances. This is not one of them. The judge is not required to make any decisions that will effect dad while dad is gone (because any custody transfer to mom would be temporary) therefore there is no basis for his wife to represent him in court.

    What is really going on here is that dad and stepmom lied to mom. They had one of two reasons for doing this...1) A fear that if the child lived with mom temporarily that they wouldn't get the child back for one reason or another...and/or 2) A desire for dad not to have to pay child support to mom while he is deployed.
  14. #29
    thetsgtswife is offline Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Over there.....
    Posts
    128
    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ
    Sorry, but you are misinterpreting that as it relates to this situation.

    The act prevents a judge from taking custody away from dad while he is gone...that is absolutely true. However it does not prevent (nor legally could prevent) a judge from temporarily placing the child with the child's other parent until dad returns. That is the proper legal outcome.

    Someone with a POA cannot represent someone else in court except in limited circumstances. This is not one of them. The judge is not required to make any decisions that will effect dad while dad is gone (because any custody transfer to mom would be temporary) therefore there is no basis for his wife to represent him in court.

    What is really going on here is that dad and stepmom lied to mom. They had one of two reasons for doing this...1) A fear that if the child lived with mom temporarily that they wouldn't get the child back for one reason or another...and/or 2) A desire for dad not to have to pay child support to mom while he is deployed.
    You are so wrong about this, I know this to be a fact. I have represented my husband and I HAVE my stepson while he is deployed. You just dont have it right and shouldnt be advising on issues you dont know what the legal answer is. Each case is unique but bottem line is I can, will and have represented my husband in his child custday hearings and was the prevailing party on my husbands behalf.

    TSGTSWIFE
  15. #30
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Posts
    44,486
    This is exactly one of the problems with starting new threads and leaving old ones hanging. OP posted an update a few days ago that indicates the court has ordered the child returned to the stepmom. [url]http://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=260586[/url]

Similar Threads

  1. Step Parents Rights
    By rehawk2308 in forum Child Custody & Visitation
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 06-06-2007, 01:40 AM
  2. Step-Parents rights ??
    By Pearl72 in forum Child Custody & Visitation
    Replies: 43
    Last Post: 08-23-2005, 08:12 AM
  3. Do step parents have any rights?
    By darf in forum Child Custody & Visitation
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 08-18-2005, 10:50 AM
  4. Step parents rights
    By Brippy in forum Marriage, Domestic Partnerships and Other Family Law Matters
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 02-03-2003, 12:41 PM
  5. Step-parents Rights
    By Alex9 in forum Child Custody & Visitation
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 02-16-2001, 06:51 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

© 1995-2012 Advice Company, All Rights Reserved

FreeAdvice® has been providing millions of consumers with outstanding advice, free, since 1995. While not a substitute for personal advice from a licensed professional, it is available AS IS, subject to our Disclaimer and Terms & Conditions Of Use.