psfunkytek said:
Giving step-mom power of attorney to stand for him in court is NOT the same as having power of attorney to get custody of the kid!!! That's like saying that her husband could give his new wife the deed to mom's house while he's gone. Stepmom can take care of HIS business while HE is gone, but mom is here and and stepmom does NOT get to take care of, nor does she have any power of attorney over bio mom. I'm surprised no one has said this, but dad may NOT have any control over his deployment, but he does have control over his phone, his mail and his mouth and he should have told bio mom that he was leaving and I'm guessing the judge will NOT like that he did not. On the other hand, OP didn't say how old her son is, but does your son not want to come back to you? Not that it matters, Ldij is right, she has no rights to the child. Since mom has another child in her custody, I assume mom hasn't been ruled unfit by a court.
My ex was deployed to Korea in June of 2000 for a year and my son, who was 14 at the time was told by my ex and his new wife to LIE to me and not tell me that Dad was gone or Dad would go to jail. My son did not tell me that dad was gone until seven months later when he finally realized that what he was being told to do was wrong. When I called my ex's commander, he advised me that all the proper paperwork had been filled out and as far as they were concerned, my ex had his bases covered. I was unable to pursue the situation as I had a brand new baby and barely any funds. And I was stupid. (btw, we were geographically seperate and son had been sent to live with Dad six months prior to help with his "anger" issues against my other, younger son) bad move in hindsight.
Because of this and other things my ex and his wife have done (PAL), my son barely even talks to me anymore.
My advice, though not legal really - only "been there" kind of advice - get your child in your home as soon as possible. Do not leave the situation lie. Dad is gone, you are the biological parent. Unless the child has an amazing relationship with the step and you are completely comfy leaving him there. The fact that Dad lied in the beginning by not telling you is a big warning flag.
Courts frown upon non communication. Dad and step, for whatever reason, lied to you.
I'm sorry people, but take it at face value. I realize these soldiers who go to war zones are serving their country, but that doesn't give them the right to carte blanche just because they are doing so.
Give the lady a break and applaud her for being concerned. I wish I'd known about this forum when they hid my son's situation from me.