Could you be more specific on what types of parental rights a parent can give to a step parent??? I want to know what Im talking about when I go to court or make statements. I want to make sure that I am right about things before I speak.
If Dad signs a Power of Attorney, he can appoint Stepmom as his attorney-in-fact to make certain education and health care decisions for the children on his behalf.
Dad also can grant Stepmom the authority to discipline the children in whatever manner he deems appropriate (including corporal punishment), so long as the discipline does not rise to the level of abuse or neglect AND so long as there is no clause in your orders that precludes third parties from administering such discipline.
Finally, you noted in a previous thread that you are the NCP, so Stepmom would indeed have rights under FERPA as Ginny already posted.
In general, those are the limits to a stepparent's rights in any state, UNLESS a court grants him or her other specific rights. It is rare that a court would do so.
That said...
You should be aware that Washington is one of those tricky states with a "de facto parentage" doctrine which permits non-biological "parents" to establish parental rights and to seek custody or residential time on their own behalf. The major case (2005) that established this doctrine involved a lesbian couple who separated, but it could be argued to apply to stepparents as well. I don't know whether there has been a case in which a stepparent who is
still married to one of the legal parents has asserted de facto parentage.
"...the legislature's omission of any language addressing the legal rights of parties to familial relationships such as the one presented here does not imply the complete denial of remedy but rather leaves the matter to be resolved by common law. In re Parentage of L.B., 121 Wn. App. at 475-76. Then, relying on the persuasive authority of other state courts that have recognized the common law rights of de facto parents, the court held that a common law claim of de facto or psychological parentage exists in Washington separate and distinct from the parameters of the UPA* and that such a claim is not an unconstitutional infringement on the parental rights of fit biological parents. Id. at 485. The Court of Appeals held that a de facto parent may prove the existence of a parent-child relationship by presenting evidence sufficient to prove:
(1) the natural or legal parent consented to and fostered the parent-like relationship;
(2) the petitioner and the child lived together in the same household;
(3) the petitioner assumed obligations of parenthood without expectation of financial compensation; and
(4) the petitioner has been in a parental role for a length of time sufficient to have established with the child a bonded, dependent relationship parental in nature."
*Uniform Parentage Act, RCW 26.26
155 Wn.2d 679, In re Parentage of L.B.
If your children's stepmother is overstepping so much as you report, it could be that she and Dad have read about this doctrine somewhere and have latched on to this idea.
Should you be worried that Stepmom has something like this up her sleeve? Honestly, I doubt it. There are a great many overstepping steps out there, and chances are this one is garden variety. I just wanted to bring this up so that you can prepare yourself to counter any argument that Dad and Stepmom might throw at you.