What would it take to have supervised visits?

[cmschafe]

What is the name of your state? Missouri

My ex-husband has been showing signs of mental and emotional instability. I am concerned about his thought process and don't really know for sure if he is a danger to the children.

My kids are 4 and 5 and we have joint legal custody and I have primary physical custody. He (is supposed to) has the kids every other weekend. I am concerned about his lack of ability to care for the children.

What would cause a court to require supervised visits and how would I prove that he is unfit to care for them by himself?

 

[2Mistakes]

What makes you think he is emotionally and mentally unstable? Have there been incidents (of which you can provide proof) that would put the kids in danger?

 

[cmschafe]

For the past several months he has made comments to me about how he feels like his emotions are "out of control" and sometimes feels like he isn't able to take good care of the kids because he is afraid he will have a emotional meltdown in front of them. His girlfriend broke up with him a few months back and since then he has been stalking her and becoming rather obsessed. He has showed up at her house when just her and her 7 year old daughter has been home and has knocked on their bedroom windows at 1:00 to 2:00 a.m.. He has written his ex-girlfriend numerous very disturbing letters, one of which he entitled "Letter of Divorcement" (they have never been married). The letter had all sorts of biblical terms in it and was very odd. He has claimed that he is a Profit of God.

He has said that God has been talking to him and has told him that he and his ex-girlfriend belong together and that she must be talking to a different God than him.

It seems that he has been having some disturbing "talks" with God and I am concerned about what God might tell him to do. I am afraid that he might end up being one of those parents that drown their kids because "God told him to."

 

[cmschafe]

Please don't mistake this for me wanting to take his kids away from him, but I do think that he needs someone there while the kids are with him for a while until he starts thinking a little clearer. Maybe a temporary order? Until he gets some counseling?

 

[TheGeekess]

Have you spoken to him about your concerns (ie, maybe he should have supervised visitation for a while)? Is he seeking treatment?

 

[cmschafe]

I have discussed my concerns with him but he isn't really open to them. He believes that everyone is out to get him. And when I say everyone...I mean everyone. He thinks that his problems are because he is a profit and profits of God are supposed to go through trials and tribulations to get closer to God.

I am afriad he will be unwilling to go to counseling until he is ordered to.

 

[TheGeekess]

"Does a person have to be homicidal or suicidal before he or she is able to be civilly detained?
No. Verbal threats to do harm are sufficient, or even placing a person in fear of harm is sufficient. The standard is "a likelihood of serious physical harm to self or others." Past patterns of behavior that have historically have resulted in harm may also be considered."

http://www.dmh.missouri.gov/cps/facts/civil.htm

Check out this website. I think they may be able to help you with this, as far as getting him in treatment.

 

[txrose1998]

I have discussed my concerns with him but he isn't really open to them. He believes that everyone is out to get him. And when I say everyone...I mean everyone. He thinks that his problems are because he is a profit and profits of God are supposed to go through trials and tribulations to get closer to God.

I am afriad he will be unwilling to go to counseling until he is ordered to.

Perhaps you can talk to someone in his family about your concerns?

 

[LdiJ]

For the past several months he has made comments to me about how he feels like his emotions are "out of control" and sometimes feels like he isn't able to take good care of the kids because he is afraid he will have a emotional meltdown in front of them. His girlfriend broke up with him a few months back and since then he has been stalking her and becoming rather obsessed. He has showed up at her house when just her and her 7 year old daughter has been home and has knocked on their bedroom windows at 1:00 to 2:00 a.m.. He has written his ex-girlfriend numerous very disturbing letters, one of which he entitled "Letter of Divorcement" (they have never been married). The letter had all sorts of biblical terms in it and was very odd. He has claimed that he is a Profit of God.

He has said that God has been talking to him and has told him that he and his ex-girlfriend belong together and that she must be talking to a different God than him.

It seems that he has been having some disturbing "talks" with God and I am concerned about what God might tell him to do. I am afraid that he might end up being one of those parents that drown their kids because "God told him to."

You definitely have a valid concern. Dad certainly does sound like he is not all there right now. Have you tried discussing this with his family? He obviously needs some help.

 

[cmschafe]

Thank you for the information. I have looked at the mental health website.

Is there a way to petition the courts to order him to be evaluated? What I would prefer is if they could order supervised visits until he has been evaluated. I am sure one of his sisters would be willing to supervise if necessary, but I guess I need to start by discussing this with them. I just hope that I am doing the right thing. This is all so scary.

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you for the information. I have looked at the mental health website.

Is there a way to petition the courts to order him to be evaluated? What I would prefer is if they could order supervised visits until he has been evaluated. I am sure one of his sisters would be willing to supervise if necessary, but I guess I need to start by discussing this with them. I just hope that I am doing the right thing. This is all so scary.

Do discuss it with his family. They are really in the better position to get him help. They might even be willing to supervise him without him realizing that he is being supervised. It takes awhile to get something accomplished in court, and if his family can give your kids some extra protection until then, that would certainly help.

 

[cmschafe]

I will discuss this with is family. Thank you. This all just makes me sick to my stomach. I want my kids to have a good relationship with their dad, but their safety is my biggest concern right now. Just because he and I aren't together doesn't mean that they should not have a good relationship.

I will keep you updated on what happens after I talk to his family. If they won't help me I will have to explore other options.