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What's in a name? Attachment of wages & modifying of support order

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P

Peep

Guest
What is the name of your state? Florida

Hello everyone! I am new to this forum but y'all seem to have a very helpful community here.

I did a search on some of these issues, but haven't found what I need to answer them.

First, I was divorced in the State of NH but now reside in Florida and my ex in Rhode Island. I have full custoday of my two children ages 8 & 10. When we initially got divorced I didn't want to effect my exes quality of life so I only asked for 2/3 of the child support the kids were entitled to.
Since, my ex has received 3-4 large promotions. He has also proven though we care about his quality of life, he doesn't so much care about his childrens'.
I would like to take him back to court and have my child support amount modified upwards. As understandable my children are older and they cost more, not to mention I would like to place them in an educational service (Sylvan) and he will never assist in paying extra for anything. Please advise on how I can accomplish this or if I even stand a chance at getting this approved.

Secondly, is the issue of his bounced child support checks. We are working on the fourth bounced check of his. He replaces the missed money with a money order, but I am tired of having to pay fees and all the other red tape (bad credit etc.) that comes with his irresponsibility. I want to have his wages attached electronically. I have pleaded with him to do this and he refuses. What recourse do I have, if any?

Third and lastly, for two years a battle has waged about the use of the word "Daddy" in reference to my children's step father. My ex husband from their birth has only been referred to as "Poppa" yet when the step father came on the scene and my children elected of their own choosing to begin calling the step father "Daddy" my ex husband lost his ever lovin' mind and has started a harrassment campaign to make them stop. It has effected them quite a bit and I believe it to be bordering on emotional abuse. Does the ex have any legal leg to stand on if he took me to court over this, even though "Daddy" was never his name, can the court order us to cease calling the step father "Daddy"?

Again, thank you all for any help you can give me.
Peep
 


VeronicaGia

Senior Member
Peep said:
What is the name of your state? Florida

Hello everyone! I am new to this forum but y'all seem to have a very helpful community here.

I did a search on some of these issues, but haven't found what I need to answer them.

First, I was divorced in the State of NH but now reside in Florida and my ex in Rhode Island. I have full custoday of my two children ages 8 & 10. When we initially got divorced I didn't want to effect my exes quality of life so I only asked for 2/3 of the child support the kids were entitled to.
Since, my ex has received 3-4 large promotions. He has also proven though we care about his quality of life, he doesn't so much care about his childrens'.
I would like to take him back to court and have my child support amount modified upwards. As understandable my children are older and they cost more, not to mention I would like to place them in an educational service (Sylvan) and he will never assist in paying extra for anything. Please advise on how I can accomplish this or if I even stand a chance at getting this approved.

**First off, you mention three states, but what state controls the support order? NH, FL or RI? As for a modification, you can certainly file for one and it will likely be approved, but it will be up to a judge as to whether or not you will get tuition costs. The kids have been in public school, why do you want to change that and create extra costs for it?

Secondly, is the issue of his bounced child support checks. We are working on the fourth bounced check of his. He replaces the missed money with a money order, but I am tired of having to pay fees and all the other red tape (bad credit etc.) that comes with his irresponsibility. I want to have his wages attached electronically. I have pleaded with him to do this and he refuses. What recourse do I have, if any?

**In your modification, you can ask that his wages be garnished.

Third and lastly, for two years a battle has waged about the use of the word "Daddy" in reference to my children's step father. My ex husband from their birth has only been referred to as "Poppa" yet when the step father came on the scene and my children elected of their own choosing to begin calling the step father "Daddy" my ex husband lost his ever lovin' mind and has started a harrassment campaign to make them stop. It has effected them quite a bit and I believe it to be bordering on emotional abuse. Does the ex have any legal leg to stand on if he took me to court over this, even though "Daddy" was never his name, can the court order us to cease calling the step father "Daddy"?

Again, thank you all for any help you can give me.
Peep
**I don't know if the courts will, but if the situation was reversed and you were the NCP, would you mind if your kids called someone else mom or mother or momma? He is their father, not your husband, and maybe he thinks it is emotional abuse on your part for allowing a perfect legal stranger to be called "daddy."
 
H

hjallge

Guest
When was the court order signed? Each state has guidlines as to when you can modify. You can't just go to court every three months (example) to modify.
 
P

Peep

Guest
We divorced in NH and that is where the records still are.
It was in August of 2000 and I haven't done anything court-wise since.


How emotionally abusive is it if he has never even been referred to as "Daddy" his whole life?? He has only ever been known to the kids as "Poppa"...and let's not forget it is the KIDS who have chosen to call their step-dad "Daddy" their CHOICE. He has been a father figure in their lives for HALF of their lives at least.
Why should my children change how they interact with their stepdad because of their biological father's feelings??
What happens when he decides, "Your step dad can't take you to the zoo!" or he decides, "Your step dad can't call you by your nickname that I made"
Where does it end???
 
Contact your local Child Support office. Ask to open a case, and ask that the case be transferred to your state. Because neither of you live in NH anylonger, this should not be an issue. But, the NCP has the right to fight it to keep it in the original state. But, I don't think he'd win. Your state needs to accept jursidiction. Again, this should not be a problem since you and the children live there.

Once the case is open, they can help file the modification of support. And, yes, the judge can assign a wage garnishment.

You can ask for half of the fees for Sylvan. (note to VeronicaGia: Sylvan is not a private school. It's a tutoring service.)
 
P

Peep

Guest
Thank you all, some good advice and a good place to start...

I appreciate it!
 
O

oneandonly

Guest
Well, actually, Sylvan is...

a PRIVATE tutoring service and franchise~

"Educate, Inc. is a new company focused exclusively on the K-12 education market. On July 1, 2003, Educate, Inc., with funding from Apollo Management, L.P., purchased the K-12 businesses from Sylvan Learning Systems, Inc. These businesses, which include Sylvan Learning Center, Sylvan Education Solutions, eSylvan, Connections Academy and Schülerhilfe, continue providing the same services to customers using their existing brand names."

*Key words=company, businesses and customers*

Peep--IMO--I'd exhaust all efforts through public education before I would pay 37-40$ an hour for a tutor.
 
J

jez51

Guest
Peep said:
We divorced in NH and that is where the records still are.
It was in August of 2000 and I haven't done anything court-wise since.


How emotionally abusive is it if he has never even been referred to as "Daddy" his whole life?? He has only ever been known to the kids as "Poppa"...and let's not forget it is the KIDS who have chosen to call their step-dad "Daddy" their CHOICE. He has been a father figure in their lives for HALF of their lives at least.
Why should my children change how they interact with their stepdad because of their biological father's feelings??
What happens when he decides, "Your step dad can't take you to the zoo!" or he decides, "Your step dad can't call you by your nickname that I made"
Where does it end???
Kids should be just as comfortable with their step-parents as they are their parents, so when I hear a kid call a step-parent mom or dad, that tells me that step-parent has done a great job in earning that childs love and trust. So bio-dad needs to look at it that way and quit being petty.
 

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