When should you let the child(ren) choose

[kimberlywrites]

What is the name of your state? TX

ex and I are doing joint physical custody, weekly basis. We all live within a few miles of each other and the kids' school.
My daughter, 8, is asking for "just one more night" with her dad, quite often. Sometimes when he drops her off here at my house, she won't get out of the truck. When I call her at her dad's, she tells me she's "busy right now" and can't talk.
Her time here with me is usually strained, or I'm trying my best to engage her and it takes a long time. She can hardly contain her joy when she gets to go back to her dads. Her father has less rules and more patience than I do, maybe that's why.
My son, 6, seems okay with week to week. He is always happy to see me or his dad.
My heart is breaking, but should I allow them to have more time at their dad's so they have a "home base?"

[GrowUp!]

Originally Posted by kimberlywrites

What is the name of your state? TX

ex and I are doing joint physical custody, weekly basis. We all live within a few miles of each other and the kids' school.
My daughter, 8, is asking for "just one more night" with her dad, quite often. Sometimes when he drops her off here at my house, she won't get out of the truck. When I call her at her dad's, she tells me she's "busy right now" and can't talk.
Her time here with me is usually strained, or I'm trying my best to engage her and it takes a long time. She can hardly contain her joy when she gets to go back to her dads. Her father has less rules and more patience than I do, maybe that's why.
My son, 6, seems okay with week to week. He is always happy to see me or his dad.
My heart is breaking, but should I allow them to have more time at their dad's so they have a "home base?"

Although you might get contradictory advice, is it really that big of a deal to let her stay for one more night (regardless of what YOU MIGHT *THINK* are the reasons, which are irrelevant anyway, as it falls under the "parenting styles" umbrella).

[Ohiogal]

Growup has a point. What have you and your ex done to make sure this situation goes smoothly? Do you talk? Can you talk? If the answer to that is no, quite seriously the two adults should engage in family counseling with/without the kids to learn how to be adults and work together as a family unit -- granted a different family unit but a family unit none the less.
You did not ask for legal advice so you are not getting legal advice.

[escape2paradise]

Originally Posted by kimberlywrites

What is the name of your state? TX

ex and I are doing joint physical custody, weekly basis. We all live within a few miles of each other and the kids' school.
My daughter, 8, is asking for "just one more night" with her dad, quite often. Sometimes when he drops her off here at my house, she won't get out of the truck. When I call her at her dad's, she tells me she's "busy right now" and can't talk.
Her time here with me is usually strained, or I'm trying my best to engage her and it takes a long time. She can hardly contain her joy when she gets to go back to her dads. Her father has less rules and more patience than I do, maybe that's why.
My son, 6, seems okay with week to week. He is always happy to see me or his dad.
My heart is breaking, but should I allow them to have more time at their dad's so they have a "home base?"

Why don't you work on improving your relationship with your daughter? You may also want to work on your patience and parenting style.