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  1. #1
    alex16chris is offline Junior Member
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    Who is considered a "family member"

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

    I live in Indiana and my boyfriend and I have lived together for 18 months. My boyfriend has been previously married and had a child with his ex-wife. They have joint legal and physical custody of the child. My boyfriend gets the child every other Monday overnight and every Tues, Wed, and Thurs. overnight. On the Monday nights my boyfriend has to leave at 7pm (child goes to bed at 9pm) to go to work in Chicago. According to the Indiana law- "When it becomes necessary that a child be cared for by a person other than a parent or a family member, the parent needing the child care shall first offer the other parent the opportunity for additional parenting time". Am I consider a family member or an estabilished member of the household since we have lived together for more than a year? Also according to their divorce "All parties shall have the right of first refusal when a party needs assistance with the child for more than 4 hours provided that such time does not infringe the overnight schedule." His ex-wife is trying to take my boyfriend to court because their daughter is left with me for 2 hours at night and I drop her and my daughter off at school the next morning. Does she really have a leg to stand on?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
  2. #2
    Antigone* is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by alex16chris View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

    I live in Indiana and my boyfriend and I have lived together for 18 months. My boyfriend has been previously married and had a child with his ex-wife. They have joint legal and physical custody of the child. My boyfriend gets the child every other Monday overnight and every Tues, Wed, and Thurs. overnight. On the Monday nights my boyfriend has to leave at 7pm (child goes to bed at 9pm) to go to work in Chicago. According to the Indiana law- "When it becomes necessary that a child be cared for by a person other than a parent or a family member, the parent needing the child care shall first offer the other parent the opportunity for additional parenting time". Am I consider a family member or an estabilished member of the household since we have lived together for more than a year? Also according to their divorce "All parties shall have the right of first refusal when a party needs assistance with the child for more than 4 hours provided that such time does not infringe the overnight schedule." His ex-wife is trying to take my boyfriend to court because their daughter is left with me for 2 hours at night and I drop her and my daughter off at school the next morning. Does she really have a leg to stand on?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
    You are not a family member. Yes she has every right to take her ex to court. Your boyfriend will lose.
  3. #3
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    LMAOOOO.... no, sleeping with him doesn't make you a family member you silly girl.
  4. #4
    alex16chris is offline Junior Member
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    I dont just "sleep" with him. We live together and are a family. I cook for the child and take care of her as much has her father. Im not trying to claim any rights to her. I just dont want him to lose his visitation because he is not home for 2 hours twice a month.
  5. #5
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by alex16chris View Post
    I dont just "sleep" with him. We live together and are a family. I cook for the child and take care of her as much has her father. Im not trying to claim any rights to her. I just dont want him to lose his visitation because he is not home for 2 hours twice a month.
    So he only works for two hours? Or the child is only awake for two of the hours he is at work?

    Sorry, but you are NOT a family member to the child. You're a girlfriend. Which means that legally? You are no one to this child. And you have no right to keep the child while Dad is at work for more than 4 hours, whether the child is awake or not. The child should be with Mom. And yes, it would work the other way, were mom in this situation.
  6. #6
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by alex16chris View Post
    I dont just "sleep" with him. We live together and are a family. I cook for the child and take care of her as much has her father. Im not trying to claim any rights to her. I just dont want him to lose his visitation because he is not home for 2 hours twice a month.
    No my dear, you are not family. If you think you are, just wait until he's injured critically or he dies and see how much attention anyone of mass importance (hence a government agency or a hospital) is going to pay to you and your wishes. Or, try and collect social security survivors benefits for him. Try and claim each other on your taxes. You are in fact, just his friend to which you sleep with. If he wants to elevate your status, he will. Other than that you're just the chick he's doing and that doesn't make you special, nor important.
  7. #7
    Antigone* is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by alex16chris View Post
    I dont just "sleep" with him. We live together and are a family. I cook for the child and take care of her as much has her father. Im not trying to claim any rights to her. I just dont want him to lose his visitation because he is not home for 2 hours twice a month.
    No ~ YOU ARE NOT FAMILY. You can call yourself convenient if you want but that is it. End of story, even if.
  8. #8
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antigone*of*Greece View Post
    You can call yourself convenient if you want but that is it. End of story, even if.
    There you go getting ready to use CC's daddy's rule 2.1
  9. #9
    CSO286 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by alex16chris View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

    I live in Indiana and my boyfriend and I have lived together for 18 months. My boyfriend has been previously married and had a child with his ex-wife. They have joint legal and physical custody of the child. My boyfriend gets the child every other Monday overnight and every Tues, Wed, and Thurs. overnight. On the Monday nights my boyfriend has to leave at 7pm (child goes to bed at 9pm) to go to work in Chicago. According to the Indiana law- "When it becomes necessary that a child be cared for by a person other than a parent or a family member, the parent needing the child care shall first offer the other parent the opportunity for additional parenting time". Am I consider a family member or an estabilished member of the household since we have lived together for more than a year? Also according to their divorce "All parties shall have the right of first refusal when a party needs assistance with the child for more than 4 hours provided that such time does not infringe the overnight schedule." His ex-wife is trying to take my boyfriend to court because their daughter is left with me for 2 hours at night and I drop her and my daughter off at school the next morning. Does she really have a leg to stand on?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

    You answered the question yourself. She absolutely has the right to refuse to allow you (a legal stranger) to care for the child. (I would.)
    Honey, you are even a legal stranger to the gentleman whose bed you warm. Until such time as you decide to change that relationship status, you are out of luck and mom is completely within her rights.

    Best of luck.
  10. #10
    alex16chris is offline Junior Member
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    I understand I have no rights and am considered a "legal stranger" to the child. I was told because we have lived together for more than 1 year I was considered an established member of the household and that the court considered that as family in regards to the child being left with me while the father was gone. I just wanted to find out if this was true. Also can the father do anything about the child (6) being left with her 12 year old sister instead of himself?
  11. #11
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    The sister IS a family member. So, probably not. Both of my kids babysat at 12.
  12. #12
    Artemis_ofthe_Hunt is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by alex16chris View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

    I live in Indiana and my boyfriend and I have lived together for 18 months. My boyfriend has been previously married and had a child with his ex-wife. They have joint legal and physical custody of the child. My boyfriend gets the child every other Monday overnight and every Tues, Wed, and Thurs. overnight. On the Monday nights my boyfriend has to leave at 7pm (child goes to bed at 9pm) to go to work in Chicago. According to the Indiana law- "When it becomes necessary that a child be cared for by a person other than a parent or a family member, the parent needing the child care shall first offer the other parent the opportunity for additional parenting time". Am I consider a family member or an estabilished member of the household since we have lived together for more than a year? Also according to their divorce "All parties shall have the right of first refusal when a party needs assistance with the child for more than 4 hours provided that such time does not infringe the overnight schedule." His ex-wife is trying to take my boyfriend to court because their daughter is left with me for 2 hours at night and I drop her and my daughter off at school the next morning. Does she really have a leg to stand on?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

    The bolded would be the question I would have though. IF first right of refusal does in fact have relevance here, the 2 hours would interfere, would it not, with the overnight? Or the child should be transferred 2 hours later twice a month. Its not hard math there.

    And Darling, OP... Who told you that you were an established member of the household? An attorney? Or a friend down the street who watches Law and Order?
  13. #13
    LdiJ is online now Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by alex16chris View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

    I live in Indiana and my boyfriend and I have lived together for 18 months. My boyfriend has been previously married and had a child with his ex-wife. They have joint legal and physical custody of the child. My boyfriend gets the child every other Monday overnight and every Tues, Wed, and Thurs. overnight. On the Monday nights my boyfriend has to leave at 7pm (child goes to bed at 9pm) to go to work in Chicago. According to the Indiana law- "When it becomes necessary that a child be cared for by a person other than a parent or a family member, the parent needing the child care shall first offer the other parent the opportunity for additional parenting time". Am I consider a family member or an estabilished member of the household since we have lived together for more than a year? Also according to their divorce "All parties shall have the right of first refusal when a party needs assistance with the child for more than 4 hours provided that such time does not infringe the overnight schedule." His ex-wife is trying to take my boyfriend to court because their daughter is left with me for 2 hours at night and I drop her and my daughter off at school the next morning. Does she really have a leg to stand on?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
    Under the Indiana Guidelines, and the established practices in Indiana courts, dad will lose this one.

    The child should not be left overnight with you, when mom is available to care for the child.

    Its that simple.
  14. #14
    mistoffolees is offline Senior Member
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    I hate to disagree with so many experts, but there appears to be case law in IN which supports OP's statement. In IN (according to Sheldon v Sheldon), there can be a justification that someone living in the same household can be considered a family member:
    [url=http://haslerlaw2.blogspot.com/2008/05/following-up-on-parenting-time-right-of.html]Sam Hasler's Indiana Divorce & Family Law Blog: Following Up on ""Parenting time - Right of First Refusal"[/url]

    Now, that's not a guarantee that OP's situation will meet the requirements. In particular:
    "The practical outgrowth of this, included in the section's language, is that the best interests of the child are also served by extending the parental childcare preference to responsible family members within the custodial parent's household, also the child's household. As a result, the definition most appropriate under the rationale of section I(C)(3) is that "family member" must he limited to a person within the same household as the parent with physical custody."

    If OP's BF only has every other M, T, W, and Th, then he's NCP - and Sheldon doesn't apply, so the advice was correct - BF is going to lose if this comes to trial. (It is interesting to speculate on whether the court would extend this to NCPs if pushed. There are good arguments both ways, but unless OP wants to spend roughly a bazillion dollars taking this to the IN Supreme Court, it doesn't apply today).

    I just wanted to clarify that 'family members' can also include people living in the same house as CP in IN.
  15. #15
    ecmst12 is offline Senior Member
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    Even if you were married to dad, you still wouldn't be part of the CHILD'S family.

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