Who gets custody if one parent dies?

[CALIFPROLAW1]

Can he get a lawyer now and file for full custody, joint, split because she is sick? She is walking around with a walker and she is 38 and has to be transported to get her chemo treatments! Can a judged decide custody? I dont think she will make it easy for my husband!

My response:

Yes, hire a local attorney and re-read my responses.

IAAL

 

[casa]

Can he get a lawyer now and file for full custody, joint, split because she is sick? She is walking around with a walker and she is 38 and has to be transported to get her chemo treatments! Can a judged decide custody? I dont think she will make it easy for my husband!

Have you considered that the LAST thing Mom (or child) needs is to be torn apart during a terminal illness???

Your husband can file to establish paternity via DNA and a custody/visitation agreement...and let the child remain where they are. (for psychological and closure purposes if she is terminal after all)...then he'll have the legal issues resolved IF Mom does pass away. Then getting custody could be much easier for him.

 

[CALIFPROLAW1]

Not trying to be argumentative, but why would they even allow the aop to be signed thus eliminating the need for the court hearing to establish paternity if it is not going to hold up in court to establish custody? Just looking for further understanding.

Per Illinois law:
To make it easier for unwed parents to establish paternity at the time of the child's birth, Illinois law makes it possible for both parents to sign a voluntary acknowledgment of paternity form in the hospital. Signing this form eliminates the court process and is vital to having the father's name added to the birth certificate.

My response:

The AOP serves two purposes:

1. It gives a child a "name" and keeps the child from being a "b@stard."

2. It allows the child support agency a "right" to set up and bill someone for support. It does NOTHING for official paternity.

IAAL

 

[eme76]

not legal advice

i am sorry but i am going to ask....WTF....why would your husband want to put this sick woman or his child, who could soon loose his mother, through the stress and BS of court????



edit- ok it wasn't just me casa was thinking it too

 

[casa]

i am sorry but i am going to ask....WTF....why would your husband want to put this sick woman or his child, who could soon loose his mother, through the stress and BS of court????



edit- ok it wasn't just me casa was thinking it too

Not to mention the child could grow up with a horrific resentment of being torn away during their last opportunities with their parent!!!!

 

[eme76]

Not to mention the child could grow up with a horrific resentment of being torn away during their last opportunities with their parent!!!!

i had typed a LOT more and had to edit myself before i posted it i just hope this OP and her husband think of what is BEST FOR THE CHILD not themselves

 

[glarson]

My husband does not want to remove the son from the mother or does not want to put the mother through that stress of going to court! The only reason he waited so long to go to court and get visitation was because she would only let him see the child when she wanted him to see him and because she was sick.

 

[CALIFPROLAW1]

My husband does not want to remove the son from the mother or does not want to put the mother through that stress of going to court! The only reason he waited so long to go to court and get visitation was because she would only let him see the child when she wanted him to see him and because she was sick.

My response:

He probably won't be able to remove the child from Grandma, either.

What State does:

1. . . . mother live in?

2. . . . Grandma?

3. . . . child?

4. . . . your husband?

IAAL

 

[glarson]

They all live in Illinois! The child, mother and grandmother all live together.

 

[Mbarr77]

My response:

The AOP serves two purposes:

1. It gives a child a "name" and keeps the child from being a "b@stard."

2. It allows the child support agency a "right" to set up and bill someone for support. It does NOTHING for official paternity.

IAAL

Thanks for the clarification! I appreciate it

 

[LdiJ]

Can he get a lawyer now and file for full custody, joint, split because she is sick? She is walking around with a walker and she is 38 and has to be transported to get her chemo treatments! Can a judged decide custody? I dont think she will make it easy for my husband!

Yes, he could certainly do that....and I would recommend that he does.

 

[casa]

Yes, he could certainly do that....and I would recommend that he does.

What?!?!?!

LdiJ, did you just advise this poster to fight for custody because Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer?!?!?! When Dad has only been visiting child sporadically for the last 2 years? Child has lived with Gma entire 5 yrs. of life with Mom??

Are you serious? Would you have "advised" your X do the same when your child was this age???

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Yes, he could certainly do that....and I would recommend that he does.

Yes, he certainly can file.

however, since he has no stautory basis for which to be awarded custody over the current court order, he will, at most, receive joint custody.

unless you are now advising posters that an illness is grounds in Illinois for a change of custody.

 

[LdiJ]

What?!?!?!

LdiJ, did you just advise this poster to fight for custody because Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer?!?!?! When Dad has only been visiting child sporadically for the last 2 years? Child has lived with Gma entire 5 yrs. of life with Mom??

Are you serious? Would you have "advised" your X do the same when your child was this age???

No...I am not recommending that AT ALL...I am recommending that dad establish his legal rights.

Dad can file for joint legal custody or shared parenting without disturbing the existing physical custody arrangements.

Perhaps I missed something, but my impression was that dad has been consistantly part of the child's life since 2004....not sporadically. I don't think that we can even determine from the info provided that dad didn't want to be consistantly part of the child's life prior to that.

I do feel for grandparents who have developed a defacto type parental relationship with their grandchildren. However...the reality of things is that if the child has a bond with the ncp, the ncp is the one who will get custody.....and often will get custody even if a bond isn't established.

I have a grandchild living in my home....precious baby girl is three months old today. For the last couple of days I have been caring for her exclusively because my daughter is horribly sick (and the baby and I aren't much better...but no where near as sick as mom).....daddy (unfortunately) is awol at the moment.

However, I remind myself every day that I don't have any rights.....and remind myself every day that precious girl has two parents.....and a daddy that really does love her even if he is freaking out a bit right now. I REMIND myself that this time is not permanent.

 

[glarson]

My husband has been part of the child's life since the day he was born! The mother did not let him have any overnight visits, that is why he took her to court for visitation. The state went after him for child support after he signed the paternity agreement. He has always helped the family out in anyway he could. They are just bitter because he did not feel at the time that marriage was right for him and he chose not to marry. He loves his son very much and it hurts him that his son may loose his mother! My husband understands this he lost his mother to cancer too, he was 13 at the time! There is only the grandma, no grandpa involved! Can my husband set up some order/agreement with the courts that if something happens to the mother, custody goes to him? He is not looking to fight the ex for fully custody. He wants the son to stay with the mother, but if something happens he wants his son to be a part of our family, with his new step sister. His son even calls me mommy! The only thing they have in writing is visitation through the courts, plus his child support order! He does not want to go to court and pay any court fees! Either parent cant afford it plus the mother use the child against father at times! Tells him he has no rights, that she has fully custody and keeps him in the dark regarding anything to do with their son!