wife left me and enrolled children in school out of state

[eruffglider]

What is the name of your state? North Carolina. married for 6 year in dec, my mother in law showed up unannounced last sat night. she reside in MN. sunday i come home from work and my wife and childre(3) are gone. i dont hear anything for 48 hours and i finally get an email that thet are fine, in minnesota and she has enrolled them in school which starts 2morrow. i have an appt to obtain legal counsel at 9 am 2morrow. what rights do i have as a father in this situatin? for 8 days i have been in a state of depression without my kids and feel like i have no legal recourse. police cant help? was she in her right to leave? she has no job (i have been the sole provider for 3 years), no place for them to call home. all she took was clothes. she has no money she is living off of her family. she is telling me that b/c her family is there and not here that no judge would force her to come back to NC. its a holiday weekand and i have been waiting to begin this process. was what she did legal? someone please help me. soory for the grammar errors.

 

[CJane]

What she did was totally legal.

What you CAN do is file for divorce, custody, etc and request that she be forced to return the children to the jurisdiction of the court pending a determination of custody.

 

[eruffglider]

how is that legal? she has no money, home, job, 3 children and she can just up and leave the state (1400 mile away may i add) and thats is legal? can i get an emergency custody order?

 

[CJane]

how is that legal? she has no money, home, job, 3 children and she can just up and leave the state (1400 mile away may i add) and thats is legal? can i get an emergency custody order?

It's legal because she's their mother and she has every right to take them wherever she wants unless and until a judge tells her differently.

You can FILE for temporary custody, which is what I told you in my first post.

 

[eruffglider]

our oldest is not my biological but i have been the only father she has known since she was 2, she i now 10. will that factor in and what legal rights do i have to her? and will that change the judges decision.

 

[CJane]

our oldest is not my biological but i have been the only father she has known since she was 2, she i now 10. will that factor in and what legal rights do i have to her? and will that change the judges decision.

Unfortunately, you have NO rights to her at all. While there IS the occasional case of step-parents being granted visitation rights, it's extremely rare and I don't honestly know if it's an option in NC.

Also, she cannot be ordered to return THAT child to NC unless that child's father were to file and request it. Since he is apparently out of the picture, that's highly unlikely.

And yes, it very well may factor into the judge's decision about whether or not to order the OTHER child returned to the jurisdiction... judge's very often don't wish to separate siblings.

You NEED to speak with an attorney who is familiar with the judges in your area for more concrete information.

 

[eruffglider]

i have and i am being told that a emergency custody order can be signed on wedsday and i will be able to go pick up my children.

 

[CJane]

i have and i am being told that a emergency custody order can be signed on wedsday and i will be able to go pick up my children.

Then why are you here?

Technically, and emergency order CAN be signed on Wednesday. But whether or not one WILL be is anyone's guess.

And you will NOT be able to include the child that is not yours in the order. So even if you DO get the order and you DO get a pick up order - which is NOT the same as a temp custody order, btw - you will NOT be able to pick up the child that is NOT yours. You need to understand that NOW.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? North Carolina. married for 6 year in dec, my mother in law showed up unannounced last sat night. she reside in MN. sunday i come home from work and my wife and childre(3) are gone. i dont hear anything for 48 hours and i finally get an email that thet are fine, in minnesota and she has enrolled them in school which starts 2morrow. i have an appt to obtain legal counsel at 9 am 2morrow. what rights do i have as a father in this situatin? for 8 days i have been in a state of depression without my kids and feel like i have no legal recourse. police cant help? was she in her right to leave? she has no job (i have been the sole provider for 3 years), no place for them to call home. all she took was clothes. she has no money she is living off of her family. she is telling me that b/c her family is there and not here that no judge would force her to come back to NC. its a holiday weekand and i have been waiting to begin this process. was what she did legal? someone please help me. soory for the grammar errors.

She did not do anything illegal. You and she have equal legal rights where the children are concerned, which means you could have also done the same thing.

However, the proper action is to get yourself an attorney ASAP and then file for custody and ask the judge to order mom to return the children to NC. There is at least a 50/50, if not better, chance that the judge will order that.

However, the fact that she has been a stay at home mother, means that she has been the primary caregiver to the children. That unfortunately hurts you. However, the fact that she took them to MN hurts her.

I also have to reemphasize what you have been told about the older child. Unless you legally adopted her you have no rights to her at all. It is imperative that you been totally honest with the attorney about that, or you could find yourself in a heck of alot of trouble...not only with the judge, but with your attorney as well.

Don't assume that you will get an emergency pickup order on Wednesday. Hope that you will, but don't assume that you will. However, again, it will only be for the younger child.

Good luck.

 

[CJane]

She did not do anything illegal. You and she have equal legal rights where the children are concerned, which means you could have also done the same thing.

However, the proper action is to get yourself an attorney ASAP and then file for custody and ask the judge to order mom to return the children to NC. There is at least a 50/50, if not better, chance that the judge will order that.

However, the fact that she has been a stay at home mother, means that she has been the primary caregiver to the children. That unfortunately hurts you. However, the fact that she took them to MN hurts her.

Good luck.

Keep reading... one of the kids isn't his.

 

[LdiJ]

Keep reading... one of the kids isn't his.

Yep, I just edited my post.

 

[eruffglider]

there are 3 children involved the 2 youger boys 6 and 2 are biologicalkly mine. i am so torn because i know this is going to destroy our older daughters whole world. thats y i am trying to get as much info as possible. there is no violence involved, she does have a criminal record and did this very same thing to her daughters father 8 years ago. will any of this make a difference to a judge? i am fully aware that i can do nothing about our oldest child, just not all the way prepared. thank you all for the advice and info given thus far. please continue to write insight. i have searched the web for any info on the laws of NC and have had difficulties finding anythian and anythin i find is in lawyers lingo.

 

[CJane]

there are 3 children involved the 2 youger boys 6 and 2 are biologicalkly mine. i am so torn because i know this is going to destroy our older daughters whole world. thats y i am trying to get as much info as possible. there is no violence involved, she does have a criminal record

Is this record prior to you having children/marrying her?

and did this very same thing to her daughters father 8 years ago. will any of this make a difference to a judge?

It is VERY unlikely that it will make a difference.

 

[eruffglider]

yes it is prior, but she is staying in the same place she got arrested and where he knows to find her. so legally this in the hands of the judge. and i have no guaruntees of ever seeing my children again unless i go to mn? i though i had rights.

 

[CJane]

yes it is prior

Then it's really not relevant.

where he knows to find her.

Where WHO knows to find her?

so legally this in the hands of the judge. and i have no guaruntees of ever seeing my children again unless i go to mn? i though i had rights.

You DO have rights. And, legally, you could trot yourself up to MN and pick the children that belong to you up from school and bring them home. THEN you could file for divorce/custody/etc.

But whether or not that is in the best interests of the children - essentially turning them into a tug-of-war rope - is doubtful.