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  1. #1
    jeffd12 Guest

    Wife Wont Let Me See Kids

    What is the name of your state?

    My state is Alabama.
    My wife had been gone all day Friday with the kids and she knew i was taking my son to a ballgame. She came in the house Friday afternoon with her father and said the kids where over at a friends house and that she and the kids where moving out. She said that we where just going to seperate for a little while that i could have the kids Monday. Well i called monday and talked to my kids and asked them if they where comming home with me and they said that mom said that they couldnt see me because she would have to ask her lawyer first. Well Tuesday come around and i called again and she was saying the same thing. I dont want to make problems but i want and need to see my kids. They are my life. Can my wife keep my kids away from me like this? I made appointment with a lawyer but the appointment is next week. I dont know if i can make it with out my kids. Help?

  2. #2
    Lil Miss Smarty Panties Guest
    She can pretty much do what she wants right now since she has possession of the kids and there is no visitation order in place. She most likely knows that right now, you both have equal rights to those children and if you got them, you could legally keep them. Just hold tight until you talk to the lawyer. And if she's being this difficult now, I suggest you hire one. It's only going to get worse. I wouldn't hire the first and only lawyer I talked to. Talk to several and make a list of questions you want to ask while you're there. Look for someone who specializes in family law. I always suggest women lawyers to handle this type of problem. They are ruthless. Also, check out this site www.deltabravo.net. There is a wealth of info there for fathers going through exactly what you are.

    Good luck.

  3. #3
    Lil Miss Smarty Panties Guest
    Something else I wanted to add...

    Buy a spiral notebook and start documenting everything that pertains to your children and your wife. Start where she came home and said she was leaving. Document every incident where you talked to your children, what was said, every time she denies you access to the children, keep dates, times, conversations, exchanged e-mails, literally everything. Also remember to document anything positive as well, such as her eventually letting you speak to the children or see them. You may not realize right now how important this is but it will help you later on down the line.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Ditto everything LMSP said. Start talking to lawyers now and get one a.s.a.p.!

  5. #5
    jeffd12 Guest
    Thanks Lil Miss Smarty Panties for all your advice. I have a women lawyer and she said that we have a fight cut out for us because her lawyer has never seatled out of court. I talked to this judge i know and she said that my wife has the best lawyer in town , she told me to pick this lawyer i got because she is the only one that will fight neck and neck with my wifes lawyer. My lawyer said that my wife is trying to say the reason for divorce is abuse to her and i have never abused her. She used the same reason in the last divorce that she was going to go through with 2 years ago but we got back together. We went through counsiling until my wife didnt like what she was saying then we quit. I just wished the kids wasnt in the middle of this. She has been telling my 6 year old girl that i am mean to her and been hitting her. She asked me and i told her no that i have never hit her mom and i told her everything will be ok. It just kills me that my kids have to go through this.

  6. #6
    Lil Miss Smarty Panties Guest
    Are you going to try for custody? Is she letting you see the children now?

    Have you considered getting those counseling records? They may be of help.

    Good luck and keep us posted.

  7. #7
    jeffd12 Guest
    Hi Lil Miss Smarty Panties, I would like to have custody of my children but i dont think men have much of a chance. She is letting me see the kids when the kids beg for days. She likes holding the kids over my head. I have done everything she has asked because i would do anything to see my children. I cant stand going a day without seeing them. I call them every day just to talk to them. She let my son come and stay with me friday but she told my daughter if she would stay with her she would go buy her a hampster. She has a daughter from her previous marraige and she always done the same with her. She would tell her if she would stay home with her that she would buy her something or take her somewhere. Now her daughter who is 15yrs old wont even go and see her father because her mom tries to buy her. I am so afraid that she will do the same with my children, which she has already started. My lawyer is going to get the counseling records. How does a father get custody over a mother?

  8. #8
    jeffd12 Guest
    Hey VeronicaGia, thanks for the web site. Could you give me any advice that could help me in my divorce? I need all the help i can get please. How could i fight her to get custody of the children if she is telling my daughter that i am hitting her. I have been keeping up with everytime i talk with my kids and everytime she lets me see them and everytime she dont let me see them or talk to them. My son said that she has been making him sleep in the floor in the kitchen and my daughter sleeps in the bedroom with her and her daughter sleeps in her own room. They only have 2 bedrooms in there apartment. When they lived in our home they all had a bedroom a piece. Could i use that in a divorce that my kids could have there own room if they lived back in there house. Dont the court look at that kids need there own room. I was also wondering if i could use that my wife smokes in front of the kids. Doesnt that hurt the kids? Please tell me what i could use to try to get custody of the kids.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Once you obtain an attorney, you can start to map out a strategy for the custody of your children.

    You certainly can request primary custody of the children. Many fathers have custody, though nobody can say for sure how a judge would rule in your particular case.

    Even if you agreed on, or the judge ordered a shared or joint custody situation, it could still work. You would establish visitation - and you should be very specific about days and times and holidays etc. that you want to have the children. Make sure you abide by the order to the letter. That way, if your former spouse tries any funny business, she'll be in contempt of the order - and you can drag her butt in front of a judge. They can have a nice "come to Jesus meeting" about violating court orders...

    Just keep documenting everything, and make sure your children know you love them.

    Good luck!

  10. #10
    bigmomma Guest

    Smile help for dad

    Hi. As I have known through various situations. If you are a good dad and love your kids there should be no problem with u getting joint custody or custody. But you have to prove yourself. Your support needs to be up to date and you need to show that you are doing your part in taking care of the kids. On your time of visits you need to make sure there are no excuses you need to keep them up. When you have the kids make sure you don't say you will take them for their weekend with you and drop them off some where. The main thing with a farther is to keep his word and to prove he is a protective and loving dad. I hope you never abused your wife but she needs to not tell little ones any negative thing about you. They will only get mad at her. As long as you are good to your kids, and your a great dad. You should not have any problems with getting the kids. If you think the situation for the children is not a safe and livable environment contact the welfare department and things could be investigated. If their health is in jepardy it will be found out. If she is a mom who is good and great to her children and there is nothing to go against her she will probably get atleast joint custody. Also I do believe kids should be where they are happy too. I know mothers at times can be not so good parents it isn't always the dad like some people think. I have a brotherinlaw who got custody of his daughter, but the mother was unfit ( father isn't that hot either though but better). Good luck let me know what happens ok. If you are a good man and a good dad. You deserve to spend more time with your children.If she is saying you hit her and you honestly didn't just let the kids know you love them and you would not hurt them and just be honest say you didn't hit her if that is true. The kids will knwo the truth on how you treat them and how they see you treat her when you talk to her. No matter what if she wants to argue don't do it. But keeping reports on everything is good. Make sure you have pictures of times when your with the kids and the fun you all have together. Give it some time ok. If your a great dad it will work out ok.Take care.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    "Your support needs to be up to date ...."

    Ummm. Excuse me? No custody/CS determination has been made. WhY are you telling HIM he must pay support? Maybe SHE makes more and will be the one paying support in a Jt physical custody situation. Plenty of us gals make the same as our husbands. MIne is no less capable of parenting and I am no less capable of earning. We share all duties.

    ". When you have the kids make sure you don't say you will take them for their weekend with you and drop them off some where...."

    AND, if he IS the one responsible for CS, if his employer ends up sometimes needing him on his weekend for part of the time, or his job duties require he take care of something, then, by golly, his kids better understand that work reponsibilities can't just be shirked off because he'd rather be with his kids. ANd that may mean they will spend some time with an aunt or grandparent or whomever. My dad used to sometimes need to show property on the weekend. If we had plans, we replanned. His need to continue to earn a living doesn't change because his kids now have a different schedule with him.

    Jeffd12, hope you at least get 50% shared custody. Children should have both parents in their everyday life on a regular basis, if possible. Fathers should not be forced into being merely vistors.

    Last edited by nextwife; 08-10-2003 at 05:07 PM.
  12. #12
    Lil Miss Smarty Panties Guest
    I was just wondering what ever happened with this case so I'm bumping it up.

  13. #13
    jeffd12 Guest
    My wife still wont let me see my kids and my lawyer said that there is nothing i can do until we go to court. We go to court the 9th. I will let you know what happens. Please keep me in your prayers.

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