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JELA

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

We're trying to prove my fiancé’s ex (5 yrs separated; never married; no custody papers) is neglectful of their two boys and allows her significant other to be physically and emotionally abusive.

We have my journal and emails to family/friends logging burns, hives, lumps on head, bald patches on head, fingernail marks on the head, bruising on the head, etc. We only have pictures of the last two items listed and they're hard to see.

We have report cards showing that both boys missed 14 days of school while in her care, but missed 1 or 2 while in our care. We have records showing that the youngest failed Kindergarten and had to take summer school to go to first grade, and when he started he did not know his ABC's.

The youngest also needed glasses and never received them. He needed allergy medication and never received it. He has ADHD and was never treated for it and was told he was just stubborn or stupid because of it.

All while the oldest was over-treated for his asthma and allergies which we've found to be less than the youngest. It is also possible that the oldest wasn't over-treated, but that in his mother's home he needed that much medication (her significant other smoked). He was also restricted indoors supposedly because of his ant allergy.

Also, the boys have told us and our family counselor that they were hit by her significant other. The youngest would hit himself on the head saying he was stupid sometimes and I'd restrain him. Once I asked him why he thought he needed to do it and he said he was punishing himself. I told him there was nothing he could do to deserve that kind of treatment and he screamed at me that that was the way his mother's significant other did it.

We also suspect drug use possibly even in front of the boys. The oldest drew a picture on his school papers with faces with different emotions then one with a man surrounded by cigarettes, joints, bongs and alcohol bottles. When asked about it, he said it was his mother's significant other.

My fiancé tried talking to the mother about all of this several times, but she would simply say they had different views on parenting and continue as she pleased. In our family therapy sessions, we put together a parenting plan that we attempted to discuss with her and her significant other, but they would never schedule a time to discuss it.

The boys, although they were 6 and 8 when they came to live with us, were developmentally behind a few years according to our counselor. They didn't know how to bathe or brush their teeth properly and had difficulties interacting with children (they had no friends with her). They claimed that they typically ate PB&J, chicken nuggets or fish sticks for dinner most nights so getting them to eat veggies was difficult. They also claimed to only take a bath on Sundays.

The first couple of months they moved in with us, I would ask them weekly if they wanted to go see their mother. Finally, they said they wanted to see her, but they wanted her to come stay the night. When we explained that wasn't an option they said never mind. We also asked them once, if they had a choice, would they prefer to see their mom like they are now (1 night per month), never or with someone they trust around too. They both flat out said with someone else around.

Does that sound like enough? I appreciate your responses.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
 


2Mistakes

Senior Member
Can someone please explain to OP why her post is wrong on so many levels? I've done it a couple times in the last few days, and I'm tired.

Plus, when I do it, I get nasty-grams in my PM Inbox.:p
 

mommyof4

Senior Member
Can someone please explain to OP why her post is wrong on so many levels? I've done it a couple times in the last few days, and I'm tired.

Plus, when I do it, I get nasty-grams in my PM Inbox.:p

I'm not even going to bother. If she is so stubborn that she can't take the advice the first time, then I see no reason to waste my time.

However, I do have to address THIS:

We also asked them once, if they had a choice, would they prefer to see their mom like they are now (1 night per month), never or with someone they trust around too. They both flat out said with someone else around.
Holy hell, Lady. Inappropriately interfere much????:mad:
 

2Mistakes

Senior Member
I'm not even going to bother. If she is so stubborn that she can't take the advice the first time, then I see no reason to waste my time.

However, I do have to address THIS:

Holy hell, Lady. Inappropriately interfere much????:mad:
I was going to address that, but as I said in TB's thread, you say things so much better than me! :D

Did this OP delete a thread? This is showing as her 1st post, but you said she didn't take advice the first time. :confused:
 

summerdawn

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

We're trying to prove my fiancé’s ex (5 yrs separated; never married; no custody papers) is neglectful of their two boys and allows her significant other to be physically and emotionally abusive.

We have my journal and emails to family/friends logging burns, hives, lumps on head, bald patches on head, fingernail marks on the head, bruising on the head, etc. We only have pictures of the last two items listed and they're hard to see.

We have report cards showing that both boys missed 14 days of school while in her care, but missed 1 or 2 while in our care. We have records showing that the youngest failed Kindergarten and had to take summer school to go to first grade, and when he started he did not know his ABC's.

The youngest also needed glasses and never received them. He needed allergy medication and never received it. He has ADHD and was never treated for it and was told he was just stubborn or stupid because of it.

All while the oldest was over-treated for his asthma and allergies which we've found to be less than the youngest. It is also possible that the oldest wasn't over-treated, but that in his mother's home he needed that much medication (her significant other smoked). He was also restricted indoors supposedly because of his ant allergy.

Also, the boys have told us and our family counselor that they were hit by her significant other. The youngest would hit himself on the head saying he was stupid sometimes and I'd restrain him. Once I asked him why he thought he needed to do it and he said he was punishing himself. I told him there was nothing he could do to deserve that kind of treatment and he screamed at me that that was the way his mother's significant other did it.

We also suspect drug use possibly even in front of the boys. The oldest drew a picture on his school papers with faces with different emotions then one with a man surrounded by cigarettes, joints, bongs and alcohol bottles. When asked about it, he said it was his mother's significant other.

My fiancé tried talking to the mother about all of this several times, but she would simply say they had different views on parenting and continue as she pleased. In our family therapy sessions, we put together a parenting plan that we attempted to discuss with her and her significant other, but they would never schedule a time to discuss it.

The boys, although they were 6 and 8 when they came to live with us, were developmentally behind a few years according to our counselor. They didn't know how to bathe or brush their teeth properly and had difficulties interacting with children (they had no friends with her). They claimed that they typically ate PB&J, chicken nuggets or fish sticks for dinner most nights so getting them to eat veggies was difficult. They also claimed to only take a bath on Sundays.

The first couple of months they moved in with us, I would ask them weekly if they wanted to go see their mother. Finally, they said they wanted to see her, but they wanted her to come stay the night. When we explained that wasn't an option they said never mind. We also asked them once, if they had a choice, would they prefer to see their mom like they are now (1 night per month), never or with someone they trust around too. They both flat out said with someone else around.

Does that sound like enough? I appreciate your responses.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

If THAT many thing have happened and dad could have documented them, why didn't dad take pictures? WHY hasn't dad called child services?
 

kimberlywrites

Senior Member
With all the other things you have obviously taken it upon yourself to do, WHY haven't you got medical documention of the insinuated ABUSE???
 

mommyof4

Senior Member
I was going to address that, but as I said in TB's thread, you say things so much better than me! :D

Did this OP delete a thread? This is showing as her 1st post, but you said she didn't take advice the first time. :confused:
Oh....No I thought you said you had tried to tell her a couple of times before what was wrong with her postings. I guess you just meant that you had tried to correct random posters and had been called ugly names.:eek:
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
OP...

From a newbie to another.

PLEASE read the sticky at the top of the forum.

Edit your post accordingly.

If you are genuinely trying to help, and genuinely are seeking help - please do this, k?

And please, before you think about responding out of anger and frustration, take a few minutes, a few deep breaths, and think about WHY it's important to read that sticky and follow the guidelines.

Please?
 

2Mistakes

Senior Member
Oh....No I thought you said you had tried to tell her a couple of times before what was wrong with her postings. I guess you just meant that you had tried to correct random posters and had been called ugly names.:eek:
LOL. See. You DO say things better than me. I'm starting to not like you!:D

I didn't mean this specific poster. But I've corrected several OPs, and gotten 2 nasty-grams in the last 2 days. I feel so loved! :p
 

mommyof4

Senior Member
LOL. See. You DO say things better than me. I'm starting to not like you!:D

I didn't mean this specific poster. But I've corrected several OPs, and gotten 2 nasty-grams in the last 2 days. I feel so loved! :p
But you ARE loved. I haven't recieved any nasty grams.:(:p
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
LOL. See. You DO say things better than me. I'm starting to not like you!:D

I didn't mean this specific poster. But I've corrected several OPs, and gotten 2 nasty-grams in the last 2 days. I feel so loved! :p
lol...Take a look at my visitor message list...I am STILL VP of Mean Senior Club...(OG is Prez...):p
 

CJane

Senior Member
If Mom already only has visitaton once/month, the kids already live with Dad, etc why are you NOW trying to prove neglect. Obviously SOMETHING happened.

Other than that? I'm w/everyone else. OVerstepping overstepping overstepping inappropriately overstepping and WAY inappropriate interfering.

Good Lord.
 

TinkerBelleLuvr

Senior Member
We're trying to prove my fiancé’s ex (5 yrs separated; never married; no custody papers) is neglectful of their two boys and allows her significant other to be physically and emotionally abusive.
I suspect someone is going to court shortly.
 
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