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Will Virginia allow a step-parent to be a legal guardian?

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Proserpina

Senior Member
We have one...just trying to get some insight. Lawyers are expensive and we have already spent thousands...figured I would try the forum out for a change.


*facepalm*


We cannot second guess the attorney who KNOWS your husband's case.

Seriously.

Have a good holiday weekend.
 


Jenn13Jenn

Junior Member
*facepalm*


We cannot second guess the attorney who KNOWS your husband's case.

Seriously.

Have a good holiday weekend.
I wasn't expecting anyone to second guess anything...in some states it is feasible, in others it is not. I posted here to see if it is even an option.

BTW, you can keep your facepalms to yourself. It wasn't needed. I was simply asking a question...you know, that is the point of this forum, right?
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
I wasn't expecting anyone to second guess anything...in some states it is feasible, in others it is not. I posted here to see if it is even an option.

BTW, you can keep your facepalms to yourself. It wasn't needed. I was simply asking a question...you know, that is the point of this forum, right?


Oh that's ok. I share them willingly and with much gusto. Ask anyone.

Happy July 4!
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
I wasn't expecting anyone to second guess anything...in some states it is feasible, in others it is not. I posted here to see if it is even an option.

BTW, you can keep your facepalms to yourself. It wasn't needed. I was simply asking a question...you know, that is the point of this forum, right?
The point of this forum is to give legally accurate information. Pros gave it to you as nicely as you are gonna get. You are a LEGAL STRANGER. YOU will NOT get any LEGAL rights to these children. Ever. That the MOTHER of these children hasn't sought a COC based on Dad not being in their lives is curious.

Stay out of LEGAL situations that have NOTHING to do with YOU LEGALLY.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
After reading this entire thread I am actually a little confused.

A military POA should be enough to ensure that there are no problems regarding the children.

If there is an question regarding the military POA then mom is available to resolve any issues and apparently is cooperative about that. So I honestly don't understand what the problem is.

However....the problem COULD be resolved if mom also gave a POA to stepmom.
 
Additionally, trying to call the insurance company ALWAYS gave me problems. It is just so frustrating. Even a temporary guardianship (if allowed) would be better than nothing...sometimes I felt the POA was useless. :-(
Okay, this comment is a simple fix, not to mention if you are listed as "spouse" on tricare insurance unless there is something in the computer saying you are not allowed to discuss the childrens insurance they won't give you a hard time. If they do, its a simple matter of dad filling out the authorization to release information. Case and point, I was sitting in the tricare office with ID, my kids birth certificates, and custody papers and they still woudln't talk to me because I was not the "spouse". I had to send info to legal to prove that I am mom, funny tho, ex's new wife could call and discuss anything her heart desired about my children's insurance. Needless to say I put a stop to that.
 

sometwo

Senior Member
Well, my husband's 14 year old changed from a pediatrician to a general practitioner, had to attend physical therapy for her knee, and was in counseling for some issues she had with her dad being gone (she missed him so much, understandably).

The schools and teachers know the situation and I had no problem with teacher conferences, but when it came time to register them, they only allow the legal parent to do it.

Additionally, trying to call the insurance company ALWAYS gave me problems. It is just so frustrating. Even a temporary guardianship (if allowed) would be better than nothing...sometimes I felt the POA was useless. :-(
I still don't understand what problems you had with the dr? Did they say they wouldn't treat them or what? did you call mom if they said this? What did you do about it?

I understand only legal parents allowed to register kids, as it should be. How hard is it to take the legal parent? Or have the legal parent fill out the paperwork instead of you? Problem solved there.
 

divinemom

Junior Member
OP, my DH is active duty. My stepsons live with us as my husband has sole legal and physical custody. I am also their legal guardian for instances such as yours. The schools are very cooperative but we ran into an issue with a specialist also.

As you can see, the folks on this board are kind of biased towards step moms. I get that we are 'legal strangers' but what is not considered is that we are doing what the mother was deemed unfit to do and what the dad is unable to do...mother these children.

Kudos to you for stepping up to the plate. I know from experience that it isn't. It is a thankless job but the kids need us and that is who we are doing it for.

Not all step mothers are wicked, cruel people who want to take the mother's place, Many times we have found ourselves in these positions because of mom's actions and we have made the best of them. Ease up a little....please.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
OP, my DH is active duty. My stepsons live with us as my husband has sole legal and physical custody. I am also their legal guardian for instances such as yours. The schools are very cooperative but we ran into an issue with a specialist also.

As you can see, the folks on this board are kind of biased towards step moms. I get that we are 'legal strangers' but what is not considered is that we are doing what the mother was deemed unfit to do and what the dad is unable to do...mother these children.


I'm sorry, who deemed this Mom unfit in the eyes of the law?


Really?

(hint: NOBODY)


Kudos to you for stepping up to the plate. I know from experience that it isn't. It is a thankless job but the kids need us and that is who we are doing it for.

Not all step mothers are wicked, cruel people who want to take the mother's place, Many times we have found ourselves in these positions because of mom's actions and we have made the best of them. Ease up a little....please.



There's a HUGE difference between a court declaring the mother to be LEGALLY UNFIT, and a stepmom simply doing what a stepparent should do.


And before you get overly defensive and jump down my throat...guess what?

I. Am. A. Stepparent.


ETA: One other thing. Your husband's situation is obviously completely different. Hence it's completely irrelevant.
 
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divinemom

Junior Member
There was something going on for a judge to decide to give physical custody to Dad who is active duty. I live in VA and have seen first hand how pro mom the court system can be.

I'm not jumping down anyone's throat but it seems to me that the OP wants to do what is best for the kids and some of you are nailing her to the wall.
 

sometwo

Senior Member
OP, my DH is active duty. My stepsons live with us as my husband has sole legal and physical custody. I am also their legal guardian for instances such as yours. The schools are very cooperative but we ran into an issue with a specialist also.

As you can see, the folks on this board are kind of biased towards step moms. I get that we are 'legal strangers' but what is not considered is that we are doing what the mother was deemed unfit to do and what the dad is unable to do...mother these children.

Kudos to you for stepping up to the plate. I know from experience that it isn't. It is a thankless job but the kids need us and that is who we are doing it for.

Not all step mothers are wicked, cruel people who want to take the mother's place, Many times we have found ourselves in these positions because of mom's actions and we have made the best of them. Ease up a little....please.
What? You don't know a thing. Don't make assumptions . Your wrong.

ETA: mother was not said to be unfit so where did you get that? And let me guess your the one who deemed mom unfit in your situation?

ETA:
divinemom
you didn't even answer important questions in your own thread with your own children.
 
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divinemom

Junior Member
What? You don't know a thing. Don't make assumptions . Your wrong.

ETA: mother was not said to be unfit so where did you get that? And let me guess your the one who deemed mom unfit in your situation?

ETA: you didn't even answer important questions in your own thread with your own children.

I have a lawyer and deferred all questions to her.

I do know a thing ...or two. Having been through TWO very difficult custody cases.

How much do you know? It seems as if there have been tons of Assumptions made.

The bottom line (for me) is that not all step moms are monsters. Not all of them want to 'take over'. Some of us actually love the kids.
 

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