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  1. #1
    CalMom2011 is offline Junior Member
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    Willful Abandonment/Termination of Parental Rights

    I am a single mother in California. The father is not listed on the birth certificate and there has been no court documents to give him "legal" rights. My son is 9 months old and he was involved in his life for approx. the first 2 months of his life. He has acknowledged our child as being his own (ie telling people, posting pictures to his facebook, etc). He also gave me money when he was involved in our son's life.

    My son's father has not seen him for 7 months now and I am considering filing for child support. He stressed to me the other day that he feels its in our son's best interest that he not be involved. Given the nature of our relationship I do not know if this is a scam on his part.

    My question is- will I be able to file for willful abandonment and terminate his parental rights even though he has no "legal" rights in the eyes of the court? He has said he wants nothing to do with our child and his actions have reflected as such though I need to file for the support I need. Again, do to the nature of our relationship I know that him telling me certain things were to "eff with my head".

    Thank you.
  2. #2
    CSO286 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CalMom2011 View Post
    I am a single mother in California. The father is not listed on the birth certificate and there has been no court documents to give him "legal" rights. My son is 9 months old and he was involved in his life for approx. the first 2 months of his life. He has acknowledged our child as being his own (ie telling people, posting pictures to his facebook, etc). He also gave me money when he was involved in our son's life.

    My son's father has not seen him for 7 months now and I am considering filing for child support. He stressed to me the other day that he feels its in our son's best interest that he not be involved. Given the nature of our relationship I do not know if this is a scam on his part.

    My question is- will I be able to file for willful abandonment and terminate his parental rights even though he has no "legal" rights in the eyes of the court? He has said he wants nothing to do with our child and his actions have reflected as such though I need to file for the support I need. Again, do to the nature of our relationship I know that him telling me certain things were to "eff with my head".

    Thank you.
    Look, Dad has a legal responsibility to the child. You really should file to establish paternity and for child support, but that's on you.

    Dad can choose whether or not to be involved, i.e. obtain and exercised parenting time, etc, but he would still be required to pay child support if ordered to do so by the court.
  3. #3
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CalMom2011 View Post
    I am a single mother in California. The father is not listed on the birth certificate and there has been no court documents to give him "legal" rights. My son is 9 months old and he was involved in his life for approx. the first 2 months of his life. He has acknowledged our child as being his own (ie telling people, posting pictures to his facebook, etc). He also gave me money when he was involved in our son's life.

    My son's father has not seen him for 7 months now and I am considering filing for child support. He stressed to me the other day that he feels its in our son's best interest that he not be involved. Given the nature of our relationship I do not know if this is a scam on his part.

    My question is- will I be able to file for willful abandonment and terminate his parental rights even though he has no "legal" rights in the eyes of the court? He has said he wants nothing to do with our child and his actions have reflected as such though I need to file for the support I need. Again, do to the nature of our relationship I know that him telling me certain things were to "eff with my head".

    Thank you.


    ..and you can't have it both ways.
  4. #4
    dannyt is offline Member
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    no

    Quote Originally Posted by CalMom2011 View Post
    I am a single mother in California. The father is not listed on the birth certificate and there has been no court documents to give him "legal" rights. My son is 9 months old and he was involved in his life for approx. the first 2 months of his life. He has acknowledged our child as being his own (ie telling people, posting pictures to his facebook, etc). He also gave me money when he was involved in our son's life.

    My son's father has not seen him for 7 months now and I am considering filing for child support. He stressed to me the other day that he feels its in our son's best interest that he not be involved. Given the nature of our relationship I do not know if this is a scam on his part.

    My question is- will I be able to file for willful abandonment and terminate his parental rights even though he has no "legal" rights in the eyes of the court? He has said he wants nothing to do with our child and his actions have reflected as such though I need to file for the support I need. Again, do to the nature of our relationship I know that him telling me certain things were to "eff with my head".

    Thank you.
    he has no rights to terminate since legally he doesnt have a child.once paternity is established, the only way you can terminate his rights is if you have a husband willing to adopt( and dad has to agree). if he says no then its no and you can force him. you chose to have this child with him, you may be stuck with him untill the kid's 18, like it or not.
  5. #5
    mistoffolees is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by dannyt View Post
    he has no rights to terminate since legally he doesnt have a child.once paternity is established, the only way you can terminate his rights is if you have a husband willing to adopt( and dad has to agree).
    Would you PLEASE get yourself a girlfriend or something and stop hanging around here and giving incorrect advice?

    At this time, the father does not have any rights - so Mom doesn't have to terminate Dad's rights.

    If she does get married and the husband wants to adopt, they don't need the biological father's permission. (He could, however, file for paternity).


    But she can not get support without establishing paternity and filing for support.
  6. #6
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CSO286 View Post
    Look, Dad has a legal responsibility to the child.
    No he doesn't. This child has no legal father...
  7. #7
    Zigner is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CourtClerk View Post
    No he doesn't. This child has no legal father...
    This is an interesting word-exercise. CSO referred to "Dad". Dad=Father. Until such time as paternity has been established, there is no Father (legally-speaking). As such, by using the word "Dad", CSO is correct. Dad has legal responsibilities. Because if he's "Dad", paternity has already been established.
  8. #8
    Zigner is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mistoffolees View Post
    Would you PLEASE get yourself a girlfriend or something and stop hanging around here and giving incorrect advice?

    At this time, the father does not have any rights - so Mom doesn't have to terminate Dad's rights.

    If she does get married and the husband wants to adopt, they don't need the biological father's permission. (He could, however, file for paternity).


    But she can not get support without establishing paternity and filing for support.
    I hate to be the one that says this, but Dannyt is 100% correct. In fact, he said the same thing you said.
  9. #9
    CalMom2011 is offline Junior Member
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    ok thank you. it's pretty much what i thought. i'm going to consult with an attorney in the near future though to discuss the option because i know of another single mom in the same situation that is being able to do file for abandonment without father being in birth certificate.
  10. #10
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    You can't abandon what you don't have.....

    Him abandoning your child would be tantamount to ME abandoning your child. You may want to check the abandonment statutes... only parents can abandon their children.
  11. #11
    Silverplum is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CalMom2011 View Post
    ok thank you. it's pretty much what i thought. i'm going to consult with an attorney in the near future though to discuss the option because i know of another single mom in the same situation that is being able to do file for abandonment without father being in birth certificate.
    That person either does not know of what she speaks, or is lying, legally.
  12. #12
    LeemonGator is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zigner View Post
    I hate to be the one that says this, but Dannyt is 100% correct. In fact, he said the same thing you said.
    No, its not exactly correct. It would be wrong to say that you ALWAYS need permission for the stepparent adoption. In my opinion, it would be correct to say barring unusual circumstances, you will need the fathers permission.

    Also, the birth certificate is not the end all be all. My childs father is not on the birth certificate, but he is a legal father by virtue of paternity testing.
  13. #13
    CSO286 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LeemonGator View Post
    No, its not exactly correct. It would be wrong to say that you ALWAYS need permission for the stepparent adoption. In my opinion, it would be correct to say barring unusual circumstances, you will need the fathers permission.

    Also, the birth certificate is not the end all be all. My childs father is not on the birth certificate, but he is a legal father by virtue of paternity testing.

    Leemon, who did the testing? Was it by the order of the court?


    OP--
    You either need the father's consent or the court's to do a stepparent adoption.
    Last edited by CSO286; 02-09-2011 at 04:41 PM.
  14. #14
    Artemis_ofthe_Hunt is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LeemonGator View Post
    No, its not exactly correct. It would be wrong to say that you ALWAYS need permission for the stepparent adoption. In my opinion, it would be correct to say barring unusual circumstances, you will need the fathers permission.

    Also, the birth certificate is not the end all be all. My childs father is not on the birth certificate, but he is a legal father by virtue of paternity testing.
    Aaaannnnnnddddd.... you're still clueless.
  15. #15
    ecmst12 is offline Senior Member
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    I think you are confused. You can EITHER terminate parental rights (in which case, you get no support) OR you can file for support. Now in your case, termination of rights is not actually an option, but if rights are terminated then no support will be due from that point forward. It is the polar opposite action of filing to ESTABLISH paternity and get child support orderd.

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