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WINNING CUSTODY CASE, Proving Material change in circumstanc???

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mommyndaddy

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?state of Hawaii

I am trying to win 50% physical custody of his three children in which I had with my ex wife. Ive have tried once in which she hired a lawyer and proved that we have no "material change in circumstance" I need help proving that we do and eventually winning the case of course. The arrangements on the decree is 100% physical to the mother and 50% legal to me. Being that my life has changed dramatically since our divorce (remarried, new child, moved 30 min. away from old adress, children bad grades, immunizations late, dentist cleaning over year old, son getting arrested for stealing). I also need it changed because some of the things I agreed on in the decree I cannot forfill thats why I needed it changed. I even tried proving she was unfit in which we have two full exhibit lists proving it!, and the judge was of course a woman and took her side. She also tried mud slinging about our pasts and the judge did not look at that. She tries saying I cant forfill what the decree says now, so why should we have it changed? Thats a retarded question...Im changing the arrangements so that I can be there for where, when and what the decree says. I no longer live 5 minutes away! My life has changed.

She controls ALL aspects of the kids lives totally shutting me out. I tried to have this settled at mediation and that did nothing all she did was refuse everthing. I just want equality with my children and for them to grow up with both parents and not be brain washed by the mother who they favor because she spends alot of mine and her money to buy there love. She also told them she will be sad and wont be able to buy them things if they live with my wife and I. My oldest son get taken cared of physically and financial by his grandmother, so my child support for him goes to whatever she wants. As you know alot of my pay goes to her (about $1400 a month)which leaves pennies for me and my family. How can this be solved? Where do I start? Besides getting a Lawyer what can I do to prepare my case so that I win....I just want 50/50 so I can spend more time with my kids and my kids can all grow up together with all siblings from both marriages.
 
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Humusluvr

Senior Member
money money money money blah blah blah ....I just want 50/50 so I can spend more time with my kids and my kids can all grow up together with all siblings from both marriages.
If you just want time with your kids (which are not yours, they belong to the man you are posting for, whomever THAT :rolleyes: is) then don't worry about the money. I'm sure the mother will let the father see them.
 

CJane

Senior Member
I am trying to win 50% physical custody of his three children in which he had with his ex wife. We have tried once in which she hired a lawyer and proved that we have no "material change in circumstance" we need help proving that we do and eventually winning the case of course. The arrangements on the decree is 100% physical to the mother and 50% legal to me.
Can't change custody w/out the bolded. What do YOU think constitutes a material change?

Being that my life has changed dramatically since our divorce (remarried, new child, moved 30 min. away from old adress
Those are changes for YOU, not for the CHILD. And the CHILD is what matters.

, children bad grades, immunizations late, dentist cleaning over year old, son getting arrested for stealing).
Those things could contribute to a finding of a material change - but the do not constitute a change in and of themselves.

I also need it changed because some of the things I agreed on in the decree I cannot forfill thats why I needed it changed.
Again, this is a change/issue for YOU and not the CHILD. Custody is about the CHILD.

We even tried proving she was unfit in which we have two full exhibit lists proving it!,
Such as?

and the judge was of course a woman and took her side.
This kind of BS isn't going to help you out here OR in court.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I am trying to win 50% physical custody of his three children in which he had with his ex wife. We have tried once in which she hired a lawyer and proved that we have no "material change in circumstance" we need help proving that we do and eventually winning the case of course. The arrangements on the decree is 100% physical to the mother and 50% legal to me. Being that my life has changed dramatically since our divorce (remarried, new child, moved 30 min. away from old adress, children bad grades, immunizations late, dentist cleaning over year old, son getting arrested for stealing). I also need it changed because some of the things I agreed on in the decree I cannot forfill thats why I needed it changed. We even tried proving she was unfit in which we have two full exhibit lists proving it!, and the judge was of course a woman and took her side. She also tried mud slinging about our pasts and the judge did not look at that. She tries saying I cant forfill what the decree says now, so why should we have it changed? Thats a retarded question...Im changing the arrangements so that I can be there for where, when and what the decree says. I no longer live 5 minutes away! My life has changed.

She controls ALL aspects of the kids lives totally shutting me out. I tried to have this settled at mediation and that did nothing all she did was refuse everthing. I just want equality with my children and for them to grow up with both parents and not be brain washed by the mother who they favor because she spends alot of mine and her money to buy there love. She also told them she will be sad and wont be able to buy them things if they live with us. My oldest son get taken cared of physically and financial by his grandmother, so my child support for him goes to her for her needs. As you know alot of my pay goes to her (about $1400 a month)which leaves pennies for me and my family. How can this be solved? Where do I start? Besides getting a Lawyer what can I do to prepare my case so that I win....I just want 50/50 so I can spend more time with my kids and my kids can all grow up together with all siblings from both marriages.
Obviously you (and obviously its stepmom posting) tried once an failed.

What has happened since then that is a material change in circumstance?...because only what has happened since the last trip to court would be relevant.

It sure sounds like child support is your motivation. Are you aware that even with 50/50 custody the parent with the higher income usually ends up paying some child support?

What parts of the current orders is dad unable to honor? That's very relevant.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
What parts of the current orders is dad unable to honor? That's very relevant.
You have to read this winner's other thread. But, in a nutshell, 30 minutes is "too far" for him to travel to exercise his two weeknight visitations/week. He's also upset that the kids (one of who is ~8, dunno if the other is older or younger) "disrespect" their "new" mom (whose name he proudly tattoed on himself w/in two weeks of knowing her, married her in a month and knocked her up two weeks after that). The ex is, of course, horrible, terrible and awful.
 
Oh, are you the "NEW MOM"? I heard the mother of the children you are attempting to claim as your own is disrespectful to you. NEWSFLASH - you deserve it. Worry about your own kid and butt out. It's not your business.
 

mommyndaddy

Junior Member
you guys must be dumb def n blind...my wife doesnt want to mother my children with someone else, if you got that idea from some twisted situation you were in sorry wrong woman. disrespecting in her and my home from my kids are not cool.n she does nothing to deserve disrespect.

the x at one point was a good mother and now pretends to be better than she really is thats all. Shes not abusive I just should have known this was gona happen eventually looking at her upbringing and having a cheater mom and then no mom.
 
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Nativity

Member
you guys must be dumb def n blind...my wife doesnt want to mother my children with someone else, if you got that idea from some twisted situation you were in sorry wrong woman. disrespect in her and my home from my kids are not cool.n she does nothing to deserve disrespected.
Could you at least attempt to show yourself as an educated adult? You type like you're 13 years old.
 

mommyndaddy

Junior Member
address the matter at hand
this aint the spelling bee and u aint the judge so do I have to show you I can spell? uh no i dont dumb dumb
i dont care about spelling I just here for advice with the situation.
 
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Ohiogal

Queen Bee
address the matter at hand
No. Try and make me. :p

this aint the spelling bee and u aint the judge so do I have to show you I can spell? uh no i dont dumb dumb
Such insolence.

i dont care about spelling I just here for advice with the situation.
Oh well. You are not going to get any more than you have already gotten. I love this sentence by the way in your first post:

I am trying to win 50% physical custody of his three children in which he had with his ex wife.
Stepmom is an arrogant interfering person.
 
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Isis1

Senior Member
You're so culturally insensitive - this pidgin English is apparently how Hawaiians speak, silly.
i never met any hawaiian that speaks that way. and several families attend my son's school. i hear them speak their native tongue, and then i hear english. with thick accent, but it's still english.:(
 
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