Winter Break versus Snow Day

[MaddieP]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oregon

Our parenting plan says that I keep our daughter until the end of the winter break, and further defines the winter break as ending "at the start of school when school resumes". School was supposed to resume today but was cancelled today due to inclement weather, so if I understand correctly, I now need to return my daughter at the start of school tomorrow, since that is when school resumes at the conclusion of the winter break. My daughter's mother says I am wrong and that she will be picking our daughter up tonight and will call the police if I don't let her take our daughter tonight. What do I do?

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oregon

Our parenting plan says that I keep our daughter until the end of the winter break, and further defines the winter break as ending "at the start of school when school resumes". School was supposed to resume today but was cancelled today due to inclement weather, so if I understand correctly, I now need to return my daughter at the start of school tomorrow, since that is when school resumes at the conclusion of the winter break. My daughter's mother says I am wrong and that she will be picking our daughter up tonight and will call the police if I don't let her take our daughter tonight. What do I do?

You are wrong...and petty. Stop it.

 

[MaddieP]

You are wrong...and petty. Stop it.

I explained to her mother that since she's refusing to let our daughter to come to her grandmother's funeral on Wednesday, as she's required to per our court order, I'd appreciate the opportunity to let our daughter say goodbye to our family tonight since she will not be able to on Wednesday. I don't find that particularly petty, but all right.

 

[not2cleverRed]

What should you do? Consult the school calendar. Mine has the break all in gray.

Sorry for the snark, but you really think this is a hill worth dying on? Just because "snow" generally occurs during winter does not make a "snow day" part of Winter Break, even if it is Winter Break adjacent.

 

[MaddieP]

What should you do? Consult the school calendar. Mine has the break all in gray.

Sorry for the snark, but you really think this is a hill worth dying on? Just because "snow" generally occurs during winter does not make a "snow day" part of Winter Break, even if it is Winter Break adjacent.

Ironic wording. I explained to her mother that since she's refusing to let our daughter to come to her grandmother's funeral on Wednesday, as she's required to per our court order, I'd appreciate the opportunity to let our daughter say goodbye to our family tonight since she will not be able to on Wednesday. I just want our daughter to get a chance to say goodbye to our family, who have flown in from all over the United States.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oregon

Our parenting plan says that I keep our daughter until the end of the winter break, and further defines the winter break as ending "at the start of school when school resumes". School was supposed to resume today but was cancelled today due to inclement weather, so if I understand correctly, I now need to return my daughter at the start of school tomorrow, since that is when school resumes at the conclusion of the winter break. My daughter's mother says I am wrong and that she will be picking our daughter up tonight and will call the police if I don't let her take our daughter tonight. What do I do?

What distance is involved? Is it realistic that your daughter could both return to mom's on time AND be present for the funeral? How old is your daughter?

Also, why does your daughter have to say "goodbye" to extended family? Is there some assumption that she will never see any of them again?

 

[MaddieP]

What distance is involved?

About 30 miles; a 50 minute drive. The roads are covered in ice but are expected to be clear by tomorrow morning.

 

[single317dad]

Ironic wording. I explained to her mother that since she's refusing to let our daughter to come to her grandmother's funeral on Wednesday, as she's required to per our court order, I'd appreciate the opportunity to let our daughter say goodbye to our family tonight since she will not be able to on Wednesday. I just want our daughter to get a chance to say goodbye to our family, who have flown in from all over the United States.

Send the child home with mother as you are required to do. Return to court for a show cause hearing after Mom refuses to abide by the order. That's how things are done properly. This back-and-forth "you screw me I'll screw you" will end badly for everyone, especially the child. Let the judge put her in her place, because doing so isn't your place.

 

[LdiJ]

About 30 miles; a 50 minute drive. The roads are covered in ice but are expected to be clear by tomorrow morning.

You only answered one of my questions.

 

[MaddieP]

What distance is involved? Is it realistic that your daughter could both return to mom's on time AND be present for the funeral? How old is your daughter?

Also, why does your daughter have to say "goodbye" to extended family? Is there some assumption that she will never see any of them again?

My daughter is 8. My daughter could realistically be present for the funeral services; the court order says I can have her for eight hours on that day to spend time with my side of the family. Her mother has indicated that she will not let me have her at all on that day. Most of them flew in from the East Coast and will not be returning any time soon (years down the line, they believe).

 

[stealth2]

the court order says I can have her for eight hours on that day to spend time with my side of the family.

What is the exact wording of this portion of your order? Thanks.

 

[MaddieP]

I understand that there are several different definitions for winter break, but our parenting plan goes so far as to define it in specific terms.

"1.2. Winter Vacation
1.2.1 In even years, XXX shall be with the Father beginning at the conclusion of school on the day that school adjourns until 12 noon on December 25. XXX shall be with the Mother for the remainder of XXX’s winter vacation.
1.2.2 In odd years, XXX shall be with the Mother beginning at the conclusion of school on the day that school adjourns until 12 noon on December 25. XXX shall be with the Father for the remainder of XXX’s winter vacation.
1.2.3 For the purposes of determining parenting time during the winter break, the winter break is defined as the period of time between the conclusion of school on the day that winter break begins and the start of school on the day that school resumes."

 

[MaddieP]

What is the exact wording of this portion of your order? Thanks.

Family deaths/critical illnesses: If a member of XXX’s immediate family or a grandparent, aunt, or uncle (biological, step, or otherwise known to her), should fall critically ill and require hospitalization, or should die, the parent to whom the ill/deceased is related shall be allowed to take XXX to either visit the critically ill family member for a period of 4 hours or to funeral/memorial services for a period of 8 hours, even if it is not that parent’s parenting time with XXX. This will allow XXX time to either spend quality time with the critically ill family member, or, if applicable, time to say goodbye and grieve. The parent related to the ill/deceased family member will be responsible for picking up and dropping off XXX at a location of the other parent’s choosing.

 

[Zigner]

I understand that there are several different definitions for winter break, but our parenting plan goes so far as to define it in specific terms.

"1.2. Winter Vacation
1.2.1 In even years, XXX shall be with the Father beginning at the conclusion of school on the day that school adjourns until 12 noon on December 25. XXX shall be with the Mother for the remainder of XXX’s winter vacation.
1.2.2 In odd years, XXX shall be with the Mother beginning at the conclusion of school on the day that school adjourns until 12 noon on December 25. XXX shall be with the Father for the remainder of XXX’s winter vacation.
1.2.3 For the purposes of determining parenting time during the winter break, the winter break is defined as the period of time between the conclusion of school on the day that winter break begins and the start of school on the day that school resumes."

Winter break has ended and school has resumed, but was then was canceled due to a snow day. The snow day is not part of the winter break.

 

[Zigner]

Family deaths/critical illnesses: If a member of XXX’s immediate family or a grandparent, aunt, or uncle (biological, step, or otherwise known to her), should fall critically ill and require hospitalization, or should die, the parent to whom the ill/deceased is related shall be allowed to take XXX to either visit the critically ill family member for a period of 4 hours or to funeral/memorial services for a period of 8 hours, even if it is not that parent’s parenting time with XXX. This will allow XXX time to either spend quality time with the critically ill family member, or, if applicable, time to say goodbye and grieve. The parent related to the ill/deceased family member will be responsible for picking up and dropping off XXX at a location of the other parent’s choosing.

Go to pick your child up. If you are not allowed to do so, then file in court for contempt. This has nothing to do with the snow day.