Woman raped me, had child, I was 14. Now on disability being harrass by child support

[larryf55]

What is the name of your state? In FL.

Hello, I'm disabled on Social security. The reason I posted here in Child support, is I'm being forced by the State of Florida to come up with $10,000 in Child support payments, or face jail sentence says Florida disimbursment for being unable due to disability/unemployed. The mother of my child, Who I'll refer to as "Jane", who victimized me when I was a minor, at 14 yrs and now 20 yrs old still suffering from that day. Though I have no problem with paying Child support for my little girl that I *never* have seen/heard NOR do I have any visitation rights but I'd like to know if I can PAY when I can and NOT be thrown in jail just because I'm a male on disability?

The other problem is I'm looking for legal aid for the rape committed by her mother, "Jane", she has quite literally ROBBED me of 5 yrs of my life! And any information on how to sue the State of Florida for mental anguish for allowing this injustice.

The Judge in FL handling Child support case wouldn't consider any of facts on the statutory rape, even though she knew I was minor, at time and plaintiff, Jane, who was legally an adult. The judge granted Jane paternity/child support, ignoring the law, then statute of limitations ran out on prosecution, judge stepped on my rights when I was a minor. No?

My condition was caused by Jane, as my doctor has noted, diagnosed me as severe case of "Post tramatic stress disorder" or PTSD from the trauma being untreated for so long, I was not able to press charges because at the time I couldn't PROVE that I was raped by her, there was no hospital visit and I couldn't call police at time, I was suffering at that time did not tell anyone and had not seen doctor.

I couldn't get legal aid and the Sheriff at Police dept. where the rape occurred told me I couldn't prosecute Jane now because the statute of limitations on Florida's Statutory rape and the LEWD and LASCVIOUS ACT laws that she committed were both expired! And this even though, Jane had admitted to the police when they went to her door, the case was closed after that.

And I'm on disability shouldn't this be a reason for extension on statute of limitations, reopen case, due to circumstances of my disability?

For those who never read my post on statute of limitations question I posted, here:
https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=65995

And my whole ordeal revealed here:
https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=37875

I'd really apprciate any and all help I can find, this has been going on since '96 without any legal advice! I've finally been diagnosed disabled yet I still cannot find any proper representation to look into the matter, except for my doctor. I don't know my rights in these issues, again, this all occurred when I was 14 yrs old and I don't know yet where to turn for disability legal aid?

Thanks,
Larry

 

[4LilMan]

I have tried to click on the link above & I cannot access your story. Now please do not take offense to my question that I am about to ask...here goes: In order for a male to have intercourse, he has to be "aroused"(duh)...if you were being raped/violated, and you were upset about this while this was taking place, how were you aroused and actually able to inpregnate this woman? I don't see how that is possible if you were completely not interested in having sex w/ this woman, and not "excited" by her. Please don't be offended, but I am VERY curious as to how that can happen, unless you just mean statutory rape. Keep in mind that I was uable to access your story.

 

[larryf55]

Lilman,

Yes, really I don't want to discuss what happened over again, you can do a search and read my story, if you like but lets avoid revisiting the sexual nature of the matter and keep it legal advice only.

To answer your question, as my doctor has told me, psychiatrist and as the bible has told us, such as the oldest example when Lott was drunk and his two daughters thought they were the last of mankind came upon their father. Lott apparently was a righteous man, for God to move him from Sodom? The sexual nature that happened there wasn't his fault nor was he aware.

I'm suffering from PTSD because I was violated, basically used for her needs and I wasn't 'satisfied' or excited by Jane. I was victimized by the State and I'd prefer not be victimized by this forum too. Thanks.

Larry

I have tried to click on the link above & I cannot access your story. Now please do not take offense to my question that I am about to ask...here goes: In order for a male to have intercourse, he has to be "aroused"(duh)...if you were being raped/violated, and you were upset about this while this was taking place, how were you aroused and actually able to inpregnate this woman? I don't see how that is possible if you were completely not interested in having sex w/ this woman, and not "excited" by her. Please don't be offended, but I am VERY curious as to how that can happen, unless you just mean statutory rape. Keep in mind that I was uable to access your story.

 

[4LilMan]

I don't feel that I 'victimized' anyone by asking this question. I just didn't see how that was possible b/c I had never heard of such a thing. Sorry if I offended you. I question a lot of things. I have no advice to offer you. sorry man.

 

[CombatTN88]

If you are on disabilty (that you can't work at all) and are recieving Social Security benefits, the Florida DHS can't force you to come up with child support payments.

Regards, Combat

 

[pthalo]

something's not right.....

So if you were mentally incapacitated by this alcohol that you were convinced by peer pressure to drink, then it could be assumed that you were stupid drunk... Being someone that has been drunk beyond all recognition and everywhere between that and sobriety, I know that when you are that drunk two things will happen with your sex organ. 1) You will not be able to become erect even while aroused or 2) You will not be able to ejaculate. With this information in mind, I do believe that there was arousal at least and more than likely some interest. Even at fourteen most boys are easily sexually aroused and very interested in the oppositye sex.

Yes, you were a victim of statutory rape, but beyond that I think that you are barking up the wrong tree. As you feel that you are more grown up now than you were then (at least I hope you do), this child (if yours) is now a part of your responsibilities. You have the right to visitation and you will probably need to fight for that. You have the right to genetic testing but once again you will have to fight for that. There is no statute of limitations on these two items.. take some responsibility and some initiative and don't just complain about being a victim.. The real victim, if you continue this selfish poor-me attitude is the child. She should be your pride and joy even if you detest her mother. She is a part of you and always will be. why don't you become a part of her.

 

[larryf55]

Re: Yes, its your attitude.

Pthalo,

That's great the criticism you provide, but it wasn't useful to me nor was anything you said here true, 1),2) are wrong. For 1) You weren't there so even from what you gathered to my best 'recollection', you still have no idea what happened. 2) You need speak to a doctor because your thoughts on the male are INCORRECT! There are many cases were guys are taken advantage of drunk.

I'm barking wrong tree? You say I am victim of 'statutory rape' but I shouldn't be allowed to get any justice AND I should just accept things the way they are? <b>EVEN THOUGH THIS HAS COST ME A LOT MORE THAN I CAN EVER EXPLAIN HERE.</b> It's NOT even about money!

I'm looking for place to find lawyer, possibly some type of assistance now that I'm on disability. What I can do for child support AND to FINALLY see my little girl that I've been deprived access to by her mother, thats all I asked!

So if you were mentally incapacitated by this alcohol that you were convinced by peer pressure to drink, then it could be assumed that you were stupid drunk... Being someone that has been drunk beyond all recognition and everywhere between that and sobriety, I know that when you are that drunk two things will happen with your sex organ. 1) You will not be able to become erect even while aroused or 2) You will not be able to ejaculate. With this information in mind, I do believe that there was arousal at least and more than likely some interest. Even at fourteen most boys are easily sexually aroused and very interested in the oppositye sex.

 

[pthalo]

i am a man....

I am a twenty-four-year-old man.. and listen I know more than you could imagine what rape really feels like.. no drugs, no alcohol, nothing but a man and his desire to violate me... I wasn't even drunk and I couldn't imagine that I could have a hard on, not that the perp didn't try to get it to happen..

my ideas of male are so far from yours because you are probably still in the mindset that women are to be controlled and any woman who fights to have herself heard is a male basher or a man hater (or more specifically trying to screw you over)..

take some responsibility and realize how stupid you sound when you are more worried about your pain.. I'm not saying just get over it.. whining over what has happened in the past will never allow you the benefits of the future.. make the steps to conquer your own demons now or you really shouldn't be around children..

 

[larryf55]

RE: I AM A MAN TOO! I WAS A BOY BUT I CANNOT MOVE ON! DUE TO MY MENTAL HEALTH!!!

SORRY. Pthalo I didn't know you suffered from rape too but it sounds like you're taking your angry out on me and NOT your male offender! I don't know you NOR do you know me and what I had to deal with maybe you were able to cope after the sexual encounter without long term mental/psychological damages but *IF* you could speak to my doctor you could be able to show more compassion. I even have a phone # IF you think I'm NOT dead serious that I can back my condition UP?

THIS WASN'T something I enjoyed, something I can forget, (go read about Post Tramatic stress disorder, same thing as what soldiers in war get, remembering the war. I have to re live this trauma and it has put me in deep depression many times which I take prescription drugs "ZOLOFT" etc. for relief) and I cannot just accept this being insulted unfairly, called "stupid", whinner here just because this happened to me when I was 14 yrs old.

There are many cases of young girls and boys that have had adults predators take advantage of them and it definately wasn't something they chose, I was virgin myself, when this happened I wasn't a frat boy looking for a good time, I was a student, in the 7th grade. The most recent predators, includes our clerical/church system OF ALL PLACES and all the rapes committed by those hideous priests, how they could do such a thing to defile a child looking for spiritual guidance, SICKENING, DEGRADING, TOTAL DISGRACE TO SOCIETY!

We cannot just walk on children that have been VICTIMIZED what type of SOCIETY are we living in today? We have system of laws and our community is advanced enough to respond to and remove these pedohiles/rapists that victimized others, right?? Shouldn't we? There should be just as much help for males as females too and less criticism for their pains.

I Guess its fair, I SHOULD GO TO PRISON BECAUSE OF WHAT "JANE" DONE TO ME? THAT SOUNDS FAIR? Sure, her child is mine too, but I haven't even got to see my little girl, me and my girl were the victims here, NOT Jane, the mother . THERE IS NO MOVING FOR ME ON UNLESS I CAN GET LEGAL ADVICE HERE!!!

THANKS!

I am a twenty-four-year-old man.. and listen I know more than you could imagine what rape really feels like.. no drugs, no alcohol, nothing but a man and his desire to violate me... I wasn't even drunk and I couldn't imagine that I could have a hard on, not that the perp didn't try to get it to happen..

my ideas of male are so far from yours because you are probably still in the mindset that women are to be controlled and any woman who fights to have herself heard is a male basher or a man hater (or more specifically trying to screw you over)..

take some responsibility and realize how stupid you sound when you are more worried about your pain.. I'm not saying just get over it.. whining over what has happened in the past will never allow you the benefits of the future.. make the steps to conquer your own demons now or you really shouldn't be around children..

 

[pthalo]

who's the victim????

You were hurt in some way whether or not you want to call it rape, statutory rape, jilted lover,or a person who made a mistake who is blaming it on another.. I know more than anyone how hard it is to get past an issue of pain caused by sexual relations... (beyond being raped there have been so many other jilting sexual relationships involving and not involving drugs. You need to move past the events that have put you where you are, not so much for yourself but for your little girl... She should be the sunshine that pulls you out of this depression... And about this "depression" that you slip in and out of, that is often refered to as dysthimia, I know because that is what I have been diagnosed with (over 12 years of depression without treatment, which has only been made to be worse by incidents of rape and violence... Zoloft is a mid-grade seratonin re-uptake drug not often used for severe cases of depression.. If you claim what you claim, then prozac would normally be the doctor's choice, the drug often chosen for PTSD and PPD. It take sthe power of a drug like prozac to properly control a powerful disorder like PTSD.

I am sorry if I sound like I doubt some of your story, but I do.. There are too many holes and too many far fetched explanations. I don't know your reasoning behind it but there is just something that doesn't smell right... If you are really telling the truth, then get a lawyer and stop putting all your eggs in one basket (this forum).. IF you have been a victim then pursue litigation and prosecution.. That's all that I can say.. Ok one last thing, stop thinking of yourself and your victimization because each time that you do you are victimizing your daughter one more time.

 

[HartbrokN]

Here's my 2 cents!!!!

The issue here is NOT statutory rape of a 14 year old. Let's face it, if the victim were a female, and got pregnant, all hell breaks loose! Why is everyone trying to make the perp out to be a statutory rapist-SHE"S A SEX OFFENDER! I would think that a DNA test would absolutely prove that she raped a minor. Bring your birth certificate to court with you, and tell her to bring hers too!!!!
There's your proof! Oh- 14 year old girls develop crushes on adult males all the time, that does NOT even justify taking advantage of a minor. Why are you people suggesting he's at fault if he "enjoyed" the act? When you're 14 years old, you do not have the mental capacity to make any sexual decisions, you're still a CHILD! c'mon people, wise up!

 

[larryf55]

Pthalo

Pthalo, Yes. Well I don't know of any other way to prove the story on a forum. I offered phone # and you can be the judge. It was statutory rape not a relationship, lover or anything else, "Jane" was a friend of my mother and it happened when Jane was supposed to be watching me and my mother wasn't home.

I haven't had any sexual or otherwise relationships with anyone after what happened, just haven't felt comfortable. I'm still getting treatment from doctor for the PTSD, he says my case is so severe since untreated for so long that it'll take awhile for recovery. Zoloft didn't work it makes me sick, Dr. hasn't prescribed anything else.

As I said above, I'm looking for any help with legal aid for the disabled. Both the litigation and prosecution as you said.

Well nice talking to you.

 

[larryf55]

Thank you, HartbrokN.

Hi HartbrokN,

Thanks, I really appreciated your response and I didn't know these things. I was led to believe that minors are responsible for sexual decisions in a rape, at least boys were, sexually aware/or not? Because yes, I get the 3rd degree just asking for help here. I will keep this in mind along with the birth ceritificate/DNA test, though I haven't seen either NOR do I really know much about my little girl because

I've tried to call several times few years ago, my fathers called and just talked civil to see how the child is doing, but "Jane" even though she wanted her child has treated me very wrongly when we try to just ask what is going on with my daughter? We got hang ups, very rude responses and it's just a HUGE mess! I don't know if I can ever deal with this obnoxious woman...

I'd wished I could've called the cops or ran out of room or my mother come home during, just someone could've interrupted that day, this has been the most damaging effect ever to hit.

This whole thing has been without a solution, noone here really knows where I should go for disability assistance, free legal aid or any type services? I wanted to mention I haven't funds to manage any of this.

Thanks,
Larry

Here's my 2 cents!!!!

The issue here is NOT statutory rape of a 14 year old. Let's face it, if the victim were a female, and got pregnant, all hell breaks loose! Why is everyone trying to make the perp out to be a statutory rapist-SHE"S A SEX OFFENDER! I would think that a DNA test would absolutely prove that she raped a minor. Bring your birth certificate to court with you, and tell her to bring hers too!!!!
There's your proof! Oh- 14 year old girls develop crushes on adult males all the time, that does NOT even justify taking advantage of a minor. Why are you people suggesting he's at fault if he "enjoyed" the act? When you're 14 years old, you do not have the mental capacity to make any sexual decisions, you're still a CHILD! c'mon people, wise up!

 

[larryf5]

Here is what I'm most concerned about...

http://www.newscoast.com/2news.cfm?ID=46676

Well, a new law to take effect Oct of 2000. It put a big new hammer in their tool box.

The law makes it a third-degree felony to owe more than $5,000 of child support for over one year. Florida's Department of Revenue will be able to go to prosecutors whenever it has evidence that someone who could pay is purposely avoiding financial responsibility to his or her children.

I have no idea what sentences judges might hand down, but I'm not talking about a night in jail. The law allows sentences up to five years.

The felon would still owe all the money, by the way.

****

What a ridiculous law? Maybe some guys cannot come up with money, I personally am on disability were am I going to come up with <b>$10,000!?</b>

I've been in this debt for over 2 yrs, so I wouldn't doubt they got me on their 'watchlist'.

 

[larryf5]

Re: The story

Hey. Afew posters told me they couldn't read my story on freeadvice with the link I provided above.

Well I found it hosted at fathermag.com, magazine for Fathers. They've hosted it for almost 2 yrs, my story under their "Women who rape" section.

You can view the story and all the responses I received from the sexual part of the rape. Here:
http://forum.fathermag.com/tsf/012/forum/messages/41459.shtml
IF you want to post about your thoughts on the <b>sexual</b> encounter, do it on the fathermag forum and not here at Freeadvice please because it doesn't belong here!

I'm only looking for legal advice and lawyer on freeadvice and I will not discuss anything about the ACTUAL rape anymore.