Working father unfairly treated

[FRG123]

I work full time but prove to everyone that the biggest priority in my life is my daughter. I own a home in San Diego, have a stable job where I just began making my own schedule, own two cars, take amazing care of my daughter, go to daddy and me classes, signed her up for toddler dance classes, and have a very reliable family to watch her if necessary. My ex wife on the other hand has gone to jail for three days for assaulting my fiancé, daughter and myself; she lives off of disability because she's legally blind meaning she cannot drive while living in LA; has a another child who was molested by her father (his grandfather) and she was too; lives in government housing in the ghettos of LA; always returns my daughter sick; tried getting a false restraining order against me causing me to lose 6 meaningful months with my daughter just to drop the charges because she was proven to be a liar; and refuses to help me pay for half of our daughters medical expenses even though signed that she would in mediation during our divorce. CPS became involved after the assualt and have been talking to us for the past six months. I feel as though they are biased towards me because I am a man and I work. Since her mother is home all the time they feel it's best she goes with her. During an evaluation with mom a therapist told her that she has bad behavioral issues and should be kept in a more stable home, but my therapist down here for her told me she's one of the best two year olds he's ever met and can see how bonded we are. What can I do to get more custody of my daughter since I do not feel as though she'll be safe nor happy with her mother?

 

[CTU]

I work full time but prove to everyone that the biggest priority in my life is my daughter. I own a home in San Diego, have a stable job where I just began making my own schedule, own two cars, take amazing care of my daughter, go to daddy and me classes, signed her up for toddler dance classes, and have a very reliable family to watch her if necessary.

None of this is relevant.

My ex wife on the other hand has gone to jail for three days for assaulting my fiancé, daughter and myself;

When did this happen? Before or after the custody determination?

she lives off of disability because she's legally blind meaning she cannot drive while living in LA;

Irrelevant ... but I will say that she's not exactly living the high life on disability. Get real here.

has a another child who was molested by her father (his grandfather) and she was too

Where does Grandpa live? With Mom?

; lives in government housing in the ghettos of LA;

She has stable housing then - that's a good thing.

always returns my daughter sick;

Nobody "always" does anything ... so what are you really telling us here?

tried getting a false restraining order against me causing me to lose 6 meaningful months with my daughter just to drop the charges because she was proven to be a liar;

False or unproven?

and refuses to help me pay for half of our daughters medical expenses even though signed that she would in mediation during our divorce.

She's on disability - just what do you want her to pay? That aside, what have you DONE about this?

CPS became involved after the assualt and have been talking to us for the past six months.

But they haven't seen fit to remove the child, have they?

I feel as though they are biased towards me because I am a man and I work.

Since her mother is home all the time they feel it's best she goes with her.

No. What actually happened is that Mom is the child's primary caregiver and the courts are typically reluctant to change that without having a darn good reason for doing so. You work, right? So who would be looking after the child while you work? Why should the child be with a third party when she has a parent available?

During an evaluation with mom a therapist told her that she has bad behavioral issues and should be kept in a more stable home, but my therapist down here for her told me she's one of the best two year olds he's ever met and can see how bonded we are. What can I do to get more custody of my daughter since I do not feel as though she'll be safe nor happy with her mother?

When was custody determined, and what has CHANGED since then? Are you looking at more parenting time, or a change in custody? What is the current timeshare?

And I'd like you to be very, very honest here ... are you actually Dad's fiancee?

 

[FRG123]

"When did this happen? Before or after the custody determination?"
Custody was determined during the divorce and this was the cause for CPS involvement.


"Where does Grandpa live? With Mom?"
Same apartment complex with grandma who is constantly watching the children even though CPS told her she needs to be supervised while in the home.



"She has stable housing then - that's a good thing."
She's been robbed by gun point twice.



"Nobody "always" does anything ... so what are you really telling us here?"
She comes back sick and hungry. I'm not exaggerating when I say ALWAYS.


False or unproven?
False. She fabricated evidence against me when she found out I was seeing someone.


"She's on disability - just what do you want her to pay? That aside, what have you DONE about this?"
I want her to pay her half like she agreed to do. I'm taking her to court in the next two months.



"But they haven't seen fit to remove the child, have they?"
In the judges words "she's on her last straw"


"No. What actually happened is that Mom is the child's primary caregiver and the courts are typically reluctant to change that without having a darn good reason for doing so. You work, right? So who would be looking after the child while you work? Why should the child be with a third party when she has a parent available?"
Her mother has another child she tried giving up her parental rights to because she wasn't mentally capable of taking care of him. I work yes but I make my own schedule. I'm home to cook for her, bathe her, spend quality time with her and take her to all of her appointments. She had gotten sick and mom couldn't find a ride and hid it from me for two weeks and my daughter ended up have pneumonia.


"When was custody determined, and what has CHANGED since then? Are you looking at more parenting time, or a change in custody? What is the current timeshare?"
It's 50/50 but mom is fighting for 75/25

And I'd like you to be very, very honest here ... are you actually Dad's fiancee?
No I am not.

 

[CTU]

"When did this happen? Before or after the custody determination?"
Custody was determined during the divorce and this was the cause for CPS involvement.

So nothing has changed?

"Where does Grandpa live? With Mom?"
Same apartment complex with grandma who is constantly watching the children even though CPS told her she needs to be supervised while in the home.

Who needs to be supervised?

"She has stable housing then - that's a good thing."
She's been robbed by gun point twice.

And that could happen anywhere. Come on.

"Nobody "always" does anything ... so what are you really telling us here?"
She comes back sick and hungry. I'm not exaggerating when I say ALWAYS.

Yes, you are exaggerating. But if you're not, what does the child's physician say about it all? S/he is a mandated reporter, remember.

False or unproven?
False. She fabricated evidence against me when she found out I was seeing someone.

What do you want to happen with this?

"She's on disability - just what do you want her to pay? That aside, what have you DONE about this?"
I want her to pay her half like she agreed to do. I'm taking her to court in the next two months.

You may want to rethink that one.

"But they haven't seen fit to remove the child, have they?"
In the judges words "she's on her last straw"

In other words, "No, they have not seen fit to remove the child".

"No. What actually happened is that Mom is the child's primary caregiver and the courts are typically reluctant to change that without having a darn good reason for doing so. You work, right? So who would be looking after the child while you work? Why should the child be with a third party when she has a parent available?"
Her mother has another child she tried giving up her parental rights to because she wasn't mentally capable of taking care of him.

But you still had a child with her knowing that? Regardless, it means nothing in this situation ... it doesn't even answer the question actually.

I work yes but I make my own schedule. I'm home to cook for her, bathe her, spend quality time with her and take her to all of her appointments. She had gotten sick and mom couldn't find a ride and hid it from me for two weeks and my daughter ended up have pneumonia.

Have you discussed any of this with Mom?

"When was custody determined, and what has CHANGED since then? Are you looking at more parenting time, or a change in custody? What is the current timeshare?"
It's 50/50 but mom is fighting for 75/25

And I'd like you to be very, very honest here ... are you actually Dad's fiancee?
No I am not.

WHEN WAS CUSTODY DETERMINED?

 

[LdiJ]

"When did this happen? Before or after the custody determination?"
Custody was determined during the divorce and this was the cause for CPS involvement.

You did not answer the question asked. The question was "did mom go to jail for assaulting your fiancée before or after custody was determined? That answer is either before or after. Which is it?

"Where does Grandpa live? With Mom?"
Same apartment complex with grandma who is constantly watching the children even though CPS told her she needs to be supervised while in the home.

So, grandpa lives with grandma and grandma watches the child. Therefore grandma is supervising grandpa's contact with the child. Although I believe that you are exaggerating about the "constantly". Mom is legally blind, cannot drive and is living on disability. I doubt very much that mom needs someone to watch the child "constantly".

"She has stable housing then - that's a good thing."
She's been robbed by gun point twice.

That has nothing to do with whether or not housing is stable. Stable housing means housing that cannot just disappear overnight. That stable housing might be located in a higher crime area than where you live, but that does not make it unstable.

"Nobody "always" does anything ... so what are you really telling us here?"
She comes back sick and hungry. I'm not exaggerating when I say ALWAYS.

Hungry I could buy, always sick? Nope.

False or unproven?
False. She fabricated evidence against me when she found out I was seeing someone.

No nice at all, but so far, all you've got.

"She's on disability - just what do you want her to pay? That aside, what have you DONE about this?"
I want her to pay her half like she agreed to do. I'm taking her to court in the next two months.

She is on disability. The judge might very well find that her failure to pay is because she simply cannot pay. In that case, it may cause the judge to view you unfavorably for going after a legally blind woman who lives on disability.

"But they haven't seen fit to remove the child, have they?"
In the judges words "she's on her last straw"

That mean not have the kind of teeth you expect it to have.

"No. What actually happened is that Mom is the child's primary caregiver and the courts are typically reluctant to change that without having a darn good reason for doing so. You work, right? So who would be looking after the child while you work? Why should the child be with a third party when she has a parent available?"
Her mother has another child she tried giving up her parental rights to because she wasn't mentally capable of taking care of him. I work yes but I make my own schedule. I'm home to cook for her, bathe her, spend quality time with her and take her to all of her appointments.

You still have to work during the time she is with you. Mom can be with her 24/7.

She had gotten sick and mom couldn't find a ride and hid it from me for two weeks and my daughter ended up have pneumonia.

If you have a 50/50 timeshare that is just as much on you as on mom.

"When was custody determined, and what has CHANGED since then? Are you looking at more parenting time, or a change in custody? What is the current timeshare?"
It's 50/50 but mom is fighting for 75/25

So mom is the one who is fighting to modify the timeshare, not you? That is seriously burying the lead dad. Is this happening because the child is starting school and the fact that you are in San Diego and mom is in LA means that the current timeshare will no longer work? Who moved and created the distance? Why was that move necessary? It sounds like you need to be more forthcoming on the backstory.

And I'd like you to be very, very honest here ... are you actually Dad's fiancee?
No I am not.

So you are actually dad and not some other member of dad's family?

 

[FRG123]

You did not answer the question asked. The question was "did mom go to jail for assaulting your fiancée before or after custody was determined? That answer is either before or after. Which is it?

Custody was determined during our divorce and we're in the middle of the battle now. She assualted us when the first round of custody was figured and it resulted into the battle we're currently in.



So, grandpa lives with grandma and grandma watches the child. Therefore grandma is supervising grandpa's contact with the child. Although I believe that you are exaggerating about the "constantly". Mom is legally blind, cannot drive and is living on disability. I doubt very much that mom needs someone to watch the child "constantly".

She's told me on multiple occasions she cannot handle full time care with our child and her other child. She has a boyfriend she's out with consistently which I would not mind but during this determination they are looking at me working and her being home which she is not.



She is on disability. The judge might very well find that her failure to pay is because she simply cannot pay. In that case, it may cause the judge to view you unfavorably for going after a legally blind woman who lives on disability.

If she couldn't afford it why would she agree to pay it in the first place and have it notarized


If you have a 50/50 timeshare that is just as much on you as on mom.
It occurred in the 2 weeks she was with mom and I had to take her to the hospital when she came back to me to find out she had it.


So mom is the one who is fighting to modify the timeshare, not you? That is seriously burying the lead dad. Is this happening because the child is starting school and the fact that you are in San Diego and mom is in LA means that the current timeshare will no longer work? Who moved and created the distance? Why was that move necessary? It sounds like you need to be more forthcoming on the backstory.

Mom created the distance to move back in with her parents while she filed the false restraining order. I remained in the family home while the divorce and the restraining order hearing ended.

So you are actually dad and not some other member of dad's family?

Correct.

 

[CTU]

Okay, you need to go and hire an attorney.

Really.

 

[stealth2]

I feel as though they are biased towards me

Do you understand what you typed here?

 

[Zigner]

If she couldn't afford it why would she agree to pay it in the first place and have it notarized

If she can't afford it, then she can't afford it. The judge isn't going to order her to pay from her disability, which would likely put her out of her home. Also, being notarized simply means that the notary verifies that she (mom) was the one who signed the document.