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  1. #1
    4LilMan Guest

    Written agreement hold up in court for this?

    What is the name of your state? Ohio
    I have joint custody of my son but live in a dfferent state. His mother wants me to keep him for an extra few weeks. I am still paying her child support and paying for him to go to preschool/daycare. Plus I have to pay his way here and back, support him, etc. for the last 6 wks. I have spent $1,000.00+ this time to see him. If she & I were to write up a contract saying that the fees to reimburse her for meeting me halfway were waived this time since I kept him an additional amount of time, would this hold up in court? Or if she gets angry about something, could she just take me to court for contempt even though we made the agreement amongst ourselves in writing & get the $ anyway? I do not make a lot of money and have another family to support. I would like to keep my son, but I can't afford to keep paying the support, transportation expenses, daycare, food, & all of the other things that go along with it and do it all over again the week of Thanksgiving. Thanks.

  2. #2
    hound dog Guest
    Then take her back to court for custody modification. I mean it sounds like to me you pay your share and then some. When you have him weeks at a time she is not paying you but you are paying her... That is crazy. Go back for a modification and keep documents of everytime you have him and how much traveling you do and she does not.... Good Luck !

  3. #3
    4LilMan Guest
    I'm sorry. My message was a bit vague. I do travel halfway to meet her, but I pay for her way & mine. This time I flew up for court, then brought him back home with me (we drove). I have put him in preschool also for the time that he has been here. Preschool is very expensive (as you know). We put in the court agreement that I would pay her way to meet me halfway to transport him for my visitation. So this time I will have paid 3/4 (when all said and done ) of the transportation instead of 1/2 in all actuality, but that is beside the point. My question is if he stays, I have no choice but to put him in preschool another couple of weeks because we have to work. I cannot afford to pay her way to meet me 1/2 way if he stays & pay for preschool expenses. So I was thinking about writing up an agreement or having her write me a letter telling me that I don't have to pay her travel expenses this time because she requested that he stay. She is the type to renig and try to get me to pay anyway & keep him longer. She would take me to court for contempt, that's just how she works. Would this type of agreement hold up in court? I get a right off on him for the next 3yrs and every other yr after that, so we have something worked out for when he is here & she collects the chils support during visitation. That is already worked out. My Q is just about the agreement I want to write up.

  4. #4
    hound dog Guest
    yes and get it notirized if you can and written agreement will be held up in court. I think you will not have a problem either way simply b,.c she requested the child to stay couple more weeks.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Typically, nothing will negate a court order except another court order. In other words, agreements between the two parties will not likely hold up in court, because a judge didn't give the agreement his "seal of approval."

    However, you may wish to start the letter by stating:

    Per the CP's wishes, I am to keep said child during these dates, and the CP waives any and all future claims for reimbursement for travel during this time due to extra expenses of $____ incurred by NCP (include receipts and on those receipts in the memo section write the dates the expenses were incurred for).

    It may not work, just letting you know. Get it notarized (most banks will do this at a very small charge) and make sure she does too. In fact, make sure she gets it signed and notarized first, then you, then send her a copy and keep the original.

    Also, is there any agreement on splitting day care costs? If she will not agree to do this, and there is an agreement to split day care, send her proof of costs incurred, proof of payment and demand she reimburse you .

  6. #6
    KCMR Guest
    In Pa....we were able to write to the Child Support office. The agreement was to be signed by both of us.

    Even ifyou do just make an agreement between the two of you, the arrears will still add up in the courts eyes, if they are not made aware of what is going on.

    I'd use caution with this and have the order modified to state specification like you were talking about.

  7. #7
    4LilMan Guest
    The court order says nothing about daycare costs. I am not responsible for hers because she doesn't work by choice. So it is not caculated into our child support agreement & I am not going to ask for reimbursement of mine.
    She told me a few wks ago that she was having surgery to have cancer removed from her cervix. Then a few days later asked if he could stay a week longer. Then a few days later she calls and asks my wife if I had said anything about him staying 2 more wks (she said 1wk to me) ,because she needed to know because she was in therapy for her 'cancer'. Then the following day she calls and my wife says,"So what kind of cancer do you have?" she says "Oh well they don't know if I have anything. They are going to let me know and I may have to go back for surgery if they tell me that I do have anything." She lied & what a terible thing to lie about considering the fact that there are women who realy suffer from this disease in the world. I can't believe a person would feel just fine about lying about something like that. She just doesn't want him to come home. I am sending him home because I don't trust her and I can't afford to keep him any longer. We are guessing that in the near future she will give up custody because she can't handle him and I won't have to worry about my kid being raised by a liar any more. I just feel bad for him because he loves his mom and she doesn't even want him to come home. Well, thanks for the advice.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Not knowing anything about your ex-wife, I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that she's lying about the cancer. I'ts very possible that she told there's a chance it's cancerous and she needed a biopsy (surgery) to find out. As for the 1 week vs 2 weeks she told you/your wife? That truly could have been a mistake. (can you tell I give people the benefit of the doubt?)

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