18 year old daughter moves in with father

[haleyscomet]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MO

My husband's daughter decided to move in with us 13 months ago. (2 weeks before her 17th birthday). A month after she moved in, we were able to discontinue paying child support to her mother with the help of child support enforcement. We have asked her mother for help with support, but she not only refuses to help, but she also has blocked her daughter's phone number from her phone. She is going to stay living with us and will begin college this fall. It has been very expensive since she moved in with us, as anyone knows, children are very expensive. But we do love her and I am glad she decided to come and live with us. But my question is, what would be our chances of obtaining an order from her mother to be required to pay support to us? Any input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

 

[LillianX]

Is there ANY support order in place right now?

 

[haleyscomet]

As far as I know, the child support order my husband was paying was stopped through child support, but they told us we would have to go to court to get it stopped through the court system. They told us not to worry about it though because they documented that she is living with us and said that would save us money from going to court to discontinue the child support order. We really didn't like it being done that way, but they informed us that we would not be in trouble for not paying since they took care of it at their level. (Up until she moved in with us, we were current with child support. We did not owe any past support).

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MO

My husband's daughter decided to move in with us 13 months ago. (2 weeks before her 17th birthday). A month after she moved in, we were able to discontinue paying child support to her mother with the help of child support enforcement. We have asked her mother for help with support, but she not only refuses to help, but she also has blocked her daughter's phone number from her phone. She is going to stay living with us and will begin college this fall. It has been very expensive since she moved in with us, as anyone knows, children are very expensive. But we do love her and I am glad she decided to come and live with us. But my question is, what would be our chances of obtaining an order from her mother to be required to pay support to us? Any input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Slim chance. Or fat chance. Take your pick.

It IS possible to get a court order that extends through college in many states (I haven't checked yours) but that typically has to be in the initial order. And it's almost certainly not going to be awarded after she's an adult.

Looks like she'll have to get a job to support herself.

 

[LillianX]

From the best I can tell, MO tends to extend an existing order if a child enrolls in college. But your husband doesn't have an existing order. In fact, if he never went to court to have the original order changed, he may well find himself in arrears. Unless MO is a super weird state, the child support agency can't change a court order. It seems weird to me that they just... stopped collecting. You should check into that.

 

[haleyscomet]

First off, she does have a job and has had one since she turned 15. Plus, in Missouri, child support does go until a child is 21 when attending college full time. I just do not feel it is right that her biological mother is treating her so terribly. When she moved out, they refused to let her have the car that SHE paid for with her own money, and they even locked her checking account that had a little over 300 dollars in it from money she earned from her job. They did tell her the money the car sold for and her account money would be given to her when she turned 18. Instead of releasing this money, they emptied the account, her mom blocked her facebook, blocked her daughter's cell phone and our home phone number so she can't even call her. We paid EVERYTHING to make her senior year special all the while her mother did NOTHING at all. She didn't even buy for holidays or her birthday. It just doesn't seem "fair" or "just" to her that nothing can be done about this.

 

[Proserpina]

First off, she does have a job and has had one since she turned 15. Plus, in Missouri, child support does go until a child is 21 when attending college full time. I just do not feel it is right that her biological mother is treating her so terribly. When she moved out, they refused to let her have the car that SHE paid for with her own money, and they even locked her checking account that had a little over 300 dollars in it from money she earned from her job. They did tell her the money the car sold for and her account money would be given to her when she turned 18. Instead of releasing this money, they emptied the account, her mom blocked her facebook, blocked her daughter's cell phone and our home phone number so she can't even call her. We paid EVERYTHING to make her senior year special all the while her mother did NOTHING at all. She didn't even buy for holidays or her birthday. It just doesn't seem "fair" or "just" to her that nothing can be done about this.

You realize that you have no dog in this fight, correct? I'm not trying to be rude, but your feelings don't matter.

Child support can go to 21 if there is already an order in place.. If there isn't, it's highly unlikely Dad can do what he wants to do.

Of course your husband can try - but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Your husband might also find that he was given inaccurate information, and that he might still owe Mom child support.

(If Mom chooses to push the issue, anyway).

 

[haleyscomet]

Yes, Lillian, you are right....child support enforcement is unable to change a court order. In fact, they said they typically do not handle a case like they did ours. They said most cases, the noncustodial parent is behind on child support and they are just able to credit the account after the child moves in with them. But since we were current, they called her mother up on the phone and asked her about her daughter's living arrangements. She admitted that she had moved in with us, therefore they told us even though they could not close the account, they would speak up if anyone tried to get my husband for not paying support. I am not sure what happened from that point. I do know that we stopped receiving statements for support in the mail and have not heard anything since from child support enforcement.

 

[ecmst12]

Daughter can take mom to small claims court if mom stole her money. Or call the police (even better).

 

[LillianX]

It looks like MO has an online system where payors can check their account balance. You should encourage your husband to take a look at this. For them to tell your husband to not bother with court and to ignore a court order seems incredibly fishy. I'm not saying it didn't happen, I'm just saying that I have never heard of it. This doesn't mean much, as I am only a law student, and have very little practical experience, so I could be off base, and maybe it secretly happens all the time. It just smells to me.

But really, for his sake, have him ensure that he is carrying a zero balance.

 

[haleyscomet]

We did actually get a document stating the date we were no longer obligated to pay support to her mother. I made sure that child support enforcement noted the change of residency so that her mom could not go back and try and get money from us.
Plus, we checked into it and she can not take her mom to court since she was a minor at the time her mom took her money....just one of those things that just shows not everyone is cut out to be a mother. Our daughter just had to find out the hard way.

 

[TheGeekess]

She is NOT YOUR DAUGHTER.

She has TWO parents and you are not one of them.

You are a LEGAL STRANGER and have NO legal standing.

The only WE in this scenario is MOM and DAD.

This is a LEGAL site and legally, YOU DON"T COUNT.

 

[haleyscomet]

Thanks Lillian....
I am going to go and log into his child support account right now and see what it says. I didn't think about checking that out.

 

[TheGeekess]

Thanks Lillian....
I am going to go and log into his child support account right now and see what it says. I didn't think about checking that out.

Does your HUSBAND know that you're spreading his business all over the interwebs?

 

[haleyscomet]

you want to know something......yes I do count. I came here for advice, not to be slammed on by people that have no reason to post to my thread.
I have loved this girl since she was 3. I am 100 times more of a mother to her than her biological mother has ever been! Blood does not make a parent. You do not know the situation. I love her just as much as my other two children, and she knows that. We are even considering forgetting her dead beat worthless mom altogether and just pay for me to adopt her. I have already checked into it and found out that I can LEGALLY adopt her and her mother's name will fall right off of her birth certificate without her mom having any say in it! Of course, why would her mother care, she has already blocked her out of her life.