50/50 Custody and No Child Support Agreement and more.. (NY)

[lonelyjuy2016]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

Hello,
My wife and I looking at options for our divorce. We do not want to put the 2 children through a lot, so we are trying to be amicable.
We decided that we would split custody 50/50 with the hope that neither of us pay child support. My wife makes substantially more than I do, and I believe in NY, that makes her the custodial parent automatically. Do you think a Judge would try to get either of us to pay child support, or could an agreement be good enough for the judge?

Also, am I eligible for Maintenance? I don't want it, but could it be used as leverage?

We both work full time, but at home, I am the parent that makes dinner, gets the kids to bath and bed, gets them to school, and gets up with them at night. I know, it's different.

As for marital assets we have:

1 car paid off
1 car on lease
1 house (she wants the house, so there might a situation where I am entitled to 1/2 of the equity)
Stocks form employers (her), and stocks that we purchased for fun.
Savings / checking accounts
401K are going to be off limits. We don't want to ruin our future.

Any advice would be great.
Thank you.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

Hello,
My wife and I looking at options for our divorce. We do not want to put the 2 children through a lot, so we are trying to be amicable.
We decided that we would split custody 50/50 with the hope that neither of us pay child support. My wife makes substantially more than I do, and I believe in NY, that makes her the custodial parent automatically. Do you think a Judge would try to get either of us to pay child support, or could an agreement be good enough for the judge?

Also, am I eligible for Maintenance? I don't want it, but could it be used as leverage?

We both work full time, but at home, I am the parent that makes dinner, gets the kids to bath and bed, gets them to school, and gets up with them at night. I know, it's different.

As for marital assets we have:

1 car paid off
1 car on lease
1 house (she wants the house, so there might a situation where I am entitled to 1/2 of the equity)
Stocks form employers (her), and stocks that we purchased for fun.
Savings / checking accounts
401K are going to be off limits. We don't want to ruin our future.

Any advice would be great.
Thank you.

Your wife's income does not make her the custodial parent automatically, by any means.

You can absolutely submit an agreement outlining custody and waiving child support. Just bear in mind that both can change in the future should the situation warrant such a change.

As far as spousal support goes, how long have you been married and what exactly are your salaries? (there's a difference between $25k and $40k versus $40k and $140k)

 

[lonelyjuy2016]

Salary difference is 65K vs 80K. 6 years this June.

How is the custodial parent decided?

 

[Proserpina]

Salary difference is 65K vs 80K. 6 years this June.

How is the custodial parent decided?

You only have a difference of $15k, and you have a shorter marriage. But read this and see what you think, anyway:

http://www.nycbar.org/get-legal-help/article/family-law/maintenance-spousal-support/

There's actually a calculator here, too: https://www.nycourts.gov/divorce/calculator.pdf

Whose address will your child be using for school, doctors, etc? That would typically indicate who the CP is.

 

[lonelyjuy2016]

She wants the house, I will end up in an apartment nearby. Most likely the house will be the kids' address.

It stinks because this all came about because of her infidelity.

 

[Silverplum]

Who bathes the children?
Who feeds them?
Who takes them to the doctor?
Who takes off work when they're sick?
Who does homework with them?
Who takes them to school and goes to parent/teacher meetings?


That's the custodial parent.

 

[Silverplum]

She wants the house, I will end up in an apartment nearby. Most likely the house will be the kids' address.

It stinks because this all came about because of her infidelity.

Who says Ms. Cheatypants gets what she wants?

 

[Proserpina]

She wants the house, I will end up in an apartment nearby. Most likely the house will be the kids' address.

It stinks because this all came about because of her infidelity.

Read this, too.

http://www.nycourts.gov/divorce/childsupport/UD-8-2-MaintenanceGuidelinesWorksheet.pdf

(Thankfully NY has decided to make the entire process relatively simple!)

Has she wasted money on the other guy/woman?

I think you need to see an attorney, and I think you need to really sit down and consider how hard you want this to be not just for you but for the kids, too.

 

[lonelyjuy2016]

Who bathes the children?
Who feeds them?
Who takes them to the doctor?
Who takes off work when they're sick?
Who does homework with them?
Who takes them to school and goes to parent/teacher meetings?


That's the custodial parent.

I Do
50/50
Me 75 % of the time
N/A - to young
I take them / she picks up - we both go.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Who bathes the children?
Who feeds them?
Who takes them to the doctor?
Who takes off work when they're sick?
Who does homework with them?
Who takes them to school and goes to parent/teacher meetings?


That's the custodial parent.

And if that's *dad*, don't move out of the marital home without the kids. Especially don't move out without the kids and wait a few years to file.

 

[LdiJ]

Salary difference is 65K vs 80K. 6 years this June.

How is the custodial parent decided?

With that small of a difference in incomes and a relatively short marriage, spousal support would be very unlikely. If you had been married 12 years and the income split was 40k vs 80k then it would be a different story.

In a true 50/50 situation normally the parent with the higher income pays a little bit of child support. With your incomes being only 15k apart it would be very little child support. Google an online child support calculator for your state. Run the numbers as if you would be the non-custodial parent and then run the numbers as if she would be the non-custodial parent, and the difference between the two calculations would be in the ballpark of what she might have to pay. Keep in mind that the cost of medical insurance and daycare costs, and the person who pays those, factors into the calculation as well.

In a non 50/50 situation the custodial parent would be decided based on the judge's determination of the best interest of the child. Often that is the parent who has been the primary caretaker of the child.

 

[Proserpina]

With that small of a difference in incomes and a relatively short marriage, spousal support would be very unlikely. If you had been married 12 years and the income split was 40k vs 80k then it would be a different story.

In a true 50/50 situation normally the parent with the higher income pays a little bit of child support. With your incomes being only 15k apart it would be very little child support. Google an online child support calculator for your state. Run the numbers as if you would be the non-custodial parent and then run the numbers as if she would be the non-custodial parent, and the difference between the two calculations would be in the ballpark of what she might have to pay. Keep in mind that the cost of medical insurance and daycare costs, and the person who pays those, factors into the calculation as well.

In a non 50/50 situation the custodial parent would be decided based on the judge's determination of the best interest of the child. Often that is the parent who has been the primary caretaker of the child.

L, plug the numbers into the NY calculator (for spousal support) - I would have said the same thing as you until I checked just for the heck of it ...

 

[LdiJ]

L, plug the numbers into the NY calculator (for spousal support) - I would have said the same thing as you until I checked just for the heck of it ...

Child support (if any) would factor in as well. If there was alimony paid to equalize the incomes then there would be no child support unless one of them paid a higher amount of medical insurance and daycare. Going for alimony would likely turn a non-contested divorce into a contested one and therefore more expensive. To me, it wouldn't be worth it.

 

[Proserpina]

Child support (if any) would factor in as well. If there was alimony paid to equalize the incomes then there would be no child support unless one of them paid a higher amount of medical insurance and daycare. Going for alimony would likely turn a non-contested divorce into a contested one and therefore more expensive. To me, it wouldn't be worth it.

It would pretty much guarantee a NON-amicable situation and that's rarely good for the child. Or the adults, let's be honest.

 

[lonelyjuy2016]

It would pretty much guarantee a NON-amicable situation and that's rarely good for the child. Or the adults, let's be honest.

I would not fight for spousal support. If we are amicable, and decide 50/50 custody, and by me making less money than her, could I end up paying child support?