50/50 shared custody

[mbilar1]

What is the name of your state? Missouri

My wife is suing for divorce. We have 3 children. In mediation, we worked out a parenting plan for 50 percent of time with each parent. But Missouri's child support formula does not adequately address this, as the formula still gives a large chunk to whichever parent is considered "custodial." She is still anticipating getting that big chunk from me, only because she filed first. I have maintained the family home and she moved out to a rental. We are practicing the 50/50, although because of her work conflicts I have had the kids more like 70/30. My attorney is suggessting she and I agree to share expenses like clothing school supplies, activities, etc. with a small amount of money extra to help her with the kids since I earn more than her. I doubt she will ever agree to this because gettting the big child support check to subsidize life with her new boyfriendd is why she divorced me in the first place. Is the only alternative to go for full custody at trial?

 

[Bweick]

Shared Custody

I'm from Indiana and for the last 6 years have shared custody of my son. He spends 1 week with me and the next week with his father. Our incomes were and probably still are relatively close and there is no exchange of support. I maintain health and dental insurance on my son as it is offered through my job at a very reasonable rate and then we split all out of pocket medical/dental expenses. His father and I each purchase and keep clothing at our own homes for our son so nothing is exchanged except for maybe items of special interest to our child such as books currently reading or video games, etc, that he wishes to bring/take with him. We split school fees (books, activities, lunch money). We split special interest activities that our child likes as long as both parents are going to share in the activity (spectators). If it would be say a father/son bowling league, I would not be asked to pay 50% of the fees.
It works out extremely well for us, but there again our incomes are similar. I would probably begin (if you haven't already) document the hours the children spend with you and all monies spent on them just so you have some justification for not wanting to pay her an unreasonable sum for child support. If you do get stuck paying for her new lifestyle, be sure to request (legally documented) an itemized summary of how received child support is spent. I have known people to get their child support reduced because the money was not being spent appropriately.
I would probably go for full custody because it actually sounds like she is too busy to be raising 3 children anyways.
Good Luck.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

The problems with your situation you have the greater income and retained the marital home, she on the other hand makes less and still has to provide a home for them, perhaps at greater cost than the marital home costs you, that is why even though you have 50/50 you may still owe for child support. That is so that the children will have similar quality of homelife in each parnetal home obviously, this costs more when parents split. Even though you have the childen 70/30, that is for child care purposes which is your choice, you could have to pay for child care in addition to child support. You can ask to limit the support but it doesn't seem to be in the best interest of the children for you not to pay child support. It is the best interest of the children not a way to punish your ex because your marriage ended.

 

[Bweick]

Oops!

I totally skipped over the fact that you are keeping the house... BUT that should be part of the divorce settlement and NOT a child support matter. The equity in the house along with any other assets (ie: savings accounts, investments, jewelry, vehicles, etc.) ALONG WITH ANY DEBTS, should be totalled and divided equally amongst the 2 parties. Child support is solely based on the income of the parents and in your situation your parenting time should be taken into consideration and any support order should be modified to reflect this.

 

[mbilar1]

rmet4nzkx -

I am already paying for all the daycare since she cannot afford to. When I say 70/30, I am tallking about nights spent with me vs. her. Somebody correct me if I'm wrong, but child support is not to help subsidize her rent, utilities, etc., that would be maintenance (alimony) which is a separate issue. (And in Missouri it is seldom granted unless there is disability or some other issue that would keep mother from working.) By the way, in our case it is far more expensive to maintain the family home, and there is very little equity which will be easy to buy out of in settlement. Child support is for expenses directly related to the children: clothing, school supplies, activities, etc. right? Not so that she can subsidize her rent?

 

[Bweick]

Well... Sort of

I cannot speak for Missouri Law, but Indiana law says that CS can be applied towards housing, utilities and transportation costs (transporting kids to and from) along with all the items you mentioned. The whole child support issue is so the children are allowed (expect) the same lifestyle they were afforded when the family was intact. It is a given, and the courts know it too, that doesn't always happen no matter how high CS payments are set. They have state established guidelines and formulas to use and that's the way it is. I have been fortunate with my situation, but I see alot of guys screwed on CS payments and alot of women not doing what they are suppose to be doing with the money received.

 

[stealth2]

Bweick wins a prize! Yes, CS goes towards ALL of the expenses related to the child. Including housing, utilities, food, transportation, etc. Not all, of course, but a portion.

And believe me..... you don't know how much food can cost until you're feeding a teenage boy in a growth spurt! YOWZA!