50/50 or sole custody?

[staplesfella]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? KY

My ex and I share custody 50/50. We don't go to court, it's just something we work out between us. I signed the birth certificate at the births of our two children.

She has severe health issues that keep her going in and out of the hospital. She doesn't work and has no insurance. So she went to apply for medicaid and the caseworker denied her to get medicaid because she shares custody with me. She gave up on that for a while. Then her health issues prevented her from getting a job, she filed for disability just this past month.

Some financial person at the hospital told her that because we don't have a court order, that means she has sole custody of the children. She told her to go back to the medicaid office and tell the worker there that she has sole custody so she can get the medical card. My ex told me that it doesn't matter that we divide the kids time 50/50 because we don't have a court order, so that means she has sole.

I didn't have a problem with this because I understand she needs the health insurance...until I got served with child support papers. I called the child support office and told them we divide our time 50/50. She asked to see a court order and I told her we don't have one.

Is my ex correct? Does not having a court order mean she has sole custody even though I signed the birth certificate and have the kids half the time?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? KY

My ex and I share custody 50/50. We don't go to court, it's just something we work out between us. I signed the birth certificate at the births of our two children.

She has severe health issues that keep her going in and out of the hospital. She doesn't work and has no insurance. So she went to apply for medicaid and the caseworker denied her to get medicaid because she shares custody with me. She gave up on that for a while. Then her health issues prevented her from getting a job, she filed for disability just this past month.

Some financial person at the hospital told her that because we don't have a court order, that means she has sole custody of the children. She told her to go back to the medicaid office and tell the worker there that she has sole custody so she can get the medical card. My ex told me that it doesn't matter that we divide the kids time 50/50 because we don't have a court order, so that means she has sole.

I didn't have a problem with this because I understand she needs the health insurance...until I got served with child support papers. I called the child support office and told them we divide our time 50/50. She asked to see a court order and I told her we don't have one.

Is my ex correct? Does not having a court order mean she has sole custody even though I signed the birth certificate and have the kids half the time?

Yes, she is correct. An unwed mother in KY has sole custody of the children until a court says otherwise. Also, please be aware that a 50/50 timeshare does NOT mean that no child support will be paid. Even with a 50/50 timeshare the parent earning the most income will normally pay some child support.

 

[staplesfella]

Yes, she is correct. An unwed mother in KY has sole custody of the children until a court says otherwise. Also, please be aware that a 50/50 timeshare does NOT mean that no child support will be paid. Even with a 50/50 timeshare the parent earning the most income will normally pay some child support.

Okay, so then she's not deceiving the medicaid office by getting a medical card based on having sole custody? By that I mean...she won't have a problem getting a medical card?

What would be a way of not having to pay child support? She can't work due to her disability even though she's not receiving disability. So her getting a job isn't an option. Are you saying I have to supplement her income due to her disability til the children are 18?

 

[starting over]

Yes, she is correct

Kentucky is an income shares model State. It does not consider time spent with the children in the calculation, only income.

 

[staplesfella]

Okay, I explained this to her. We trying to keep the courts out of this and stay friendly. So she said she would consider telling the medicaid office she doesn't want the medicaid if it'll cause child support. Our ideal situation would be if she could get the medical card and not have it order me child support. I don't know, I'll have to see how much it says for me to pay.

 

[starting over]

Okay, so then she's not deceiving the medicaid office by getting a medical card based on having sole custody? By that I mean...she won't have a problem getting a medical card?

What would be a way of not having to pay child support? She can't work due to her disability even though she's not receiving disability. So her getting a job isn't an option. Are you saying I have to supplement her income due to her disability til the children are 18?

You aren't going to avoid child support. I have a Husband trying to figure out how to avoid it in KY as we speak, I'll let you know if he manages to come up with anything. Yes, unless they are still in school at 18, then it might be a bit longer.

 

[staplesfella]

You aren't going to avoid child support. I have a Husband trying to figure out how to avoid it in KY as we speak, I'll let you know if he manages to come up with anything. Yes, unless they are still in school at 18, then it might be a bit longer.

Our situation works for us because we keep things friendly. If we added money issues to it, it may complicate things. We are simple people, live in a rural area. We don't need to dress up and go to court and create all this tension just because we can't be adults and work out our issues. We came to this 50/50 agreement because we didn't wanna risk having to go to court to get an order neither of us liked when we can just keep it friendly. I don't want anything to mess it up now.

 

[starting over]

Our situation works for us because we keep things friendly. If we added money issues to it, it may complicate things. We are simple people, live in a rural area. We don't need to dress up and go to court and create all this tension just because we can't be adults and work out our issues. We came to this 50/50 agreement because we didn't wanna risk having to go to court to get an order neither of us liked when we can just keep it friendly. I don't want anything to mess it up now.

And I applaud you for that, I do. I live in cow country myself and know what you mean. My Husband & I kept it friendly for the last year, open visitation (I only live 4 miles from him) and CS not ordered through the courts (accepting much less than guideline) We pretty much, like you & your ex, acted like adults. Unfortunately, he resorted back to his childhood & things are now going to go through the courts. The only way to not pay it once the State is involved is to ask your ex to return it to you. My guess is, if she is asking for State help they are forcing her to request CS.

 

[single317dad]

Why should your children receive public assistance instead of support from their father?

If she really doesn't want the money, she can give it back to you after she receives it. Don't hold your breath.

 

[LdiJ]

Okay, I explained this to her. We trying to keep the courts out of this and stay friendly. So she said she would consider telling the medicaid office she doesn't want the medicaid if it'll cause child support. Our ideal situation would be if she could get the medical card and not have it order me child support. I don't know, I'll have to see how much it says for me to pay.

So, you are saying that she should go without medical care that she obviously, seriously needs in order to keep things "friendly" with you?...that your children should also go without medical insurance in order to keep things "friendly". I don't think that you are being realistic. Very shortly, under the Affordable Health Care Act it won't be an option for her to forego medical insurance for herself and the children, and the state is not going to let you get away with not paying any child support if the state is providing benefits to your children.

Obviously you and mom get along. Why do things have to become unfriendly if you are required to follow the law? Are you going to blame mom for this? Mom isn't even going to receive the child support. The state will receive it to compensate the state for the benefits your children will be receiving. It has nothing to do with the two of you being adults and working out your situation. It has to do with the law, the needs of the parties, and reality.

 

[Proserpina]

So, you are saying that she should go without medical care that she obviously, seriously needs in order to keep things "friendly" with you?...that your children should also go without medical insurance in order to keep things "friendly". I don't think that you are being realistic. Very shortly, under the Affordable Health Care Act it won't be an option for her to forego medical insurance for herself and the children, and the state is not going to let you get away with not paying any child support if the state is providing benefits to your children.

Obviously you and mom get along. Why do things have to become unfriendly if you are required to follow the law? Are you going to blame mom for this? Mom isn't even going to receive the child support. The state will receive it to compensate the state for the benefits your children will be receiving. It has nothing to do with the two of you being adults and working out your situation. It has to do with the law, the needs of the parties, and reality.

Concur wholeheartedly.

 

[stealth2]

Concur wholeheartedly.

As do I.

And if she gets state aid? You may well be paying the taxpayers back for their generosity in supporting your kids.