Adult Child needs info.

[MycahW]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ar.
I am a 48 y.o. male living in Arkansas, my assumed father that is listed on my birth cer. is not my bio father(I was only told of this once I was a adult), I contacted my bio father about 10 years ago and he was surprised and leery..I can understand. He informed me that if I was his that I am his only child and he never had married (he would be 75 y.o. now) My question is how and where do I begin in establishing him as bio father for legal issues?( I only have his name now, his contact info has been changed) and on my assumed father whom I do not know either since he left when I was 2 y.o., what about inheritance issues on him? btw bio father resides in state of Ok., assumed father resides there also.

Thanks for any help.

p.s. neither man was ever in my life financially or otherwise and yes I grew up with some real emotional issues because "why did my dad leave me and never want me?" well when my self-centered mother was only forced into getting honest about it when I was grown because I was going to hunt assumed father down did I learn "why".....note to parents:always tell your child the truth from as soon as they are asking!

 

[Zigner]

Were you adopted?

In any case, you have no right to force the man to give you any information. Hell, you don't even know if he IS your biological father.

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ar.
I am a 48 y.o. male living in Arkansas, my assumed father that is listed on my birth cer. is not my bio father(I was only told of this once I was a adult), I contacted my bio father about 10 years ago and he was surprised and leery..I can understand. He informed me that if I was his that I am his only child and he never had married (he would be 75 y.o. now) My question is how and where do I begin in establishing him as bio father for legal issues?( I only have his name now, his contact info has been changed) and on my assumed father whom I do not know either since he left when I was 2 y.o., what about inheritance issues on him? btw bio father resides in state of Ok., assumed father resides there also.

Thanks for any help.

p.s. neither man was ever in my life financially or otherwise and yes I grew up with some real emotional issues because "why did my dad leave me and never want me?" well when my self-centered mother was only forced into getting honest about it when I was grown because I was going to hunt assumed father down did I learn "why".....note to parents:always tell your child the truth from as soon as they are asking!

I suppose you could ASK your suspected biological father to take a paternity test.

That will take some tact.

 

[ecmst12]

The only way to make your supposed biological father into your legal father is for him to adopt you, you HAVE a legal father. Of course being that you are an adult, your legal father is of limited importance anyway. If he doesn't want a relationship with you, then you won't have one, and you certainly aren't entitled to any inheritance when he dies. Now with your LEGAL father (the one on your BC), if he dies without a will, you might be entitled to something under intestate succession (if he has anything). And the same thing is true in reverse, if you die first and you don't have a will, your legal parents could stand to inherit something.

The other thing that legal parents might impact is if you are not married and have no children, your legal parents are your next of kin for purposes of medical decisions if you become incapacitated - if you don't like this idea, set up a conditional power of attorney. But if you are married, your spouse is your next of kin, and if you have children then they get to make decisions (provided they are also adults) before your parents would. Depending on who else is in the picture for your legal parents, you might also get that call if they are incapacitated and a decision needs to be made.

At any rate, that is about the extent of the impact that legal parents could have on your life once you are an adult. I would suggest that you seek therapy to deal with your abandonment issues. You will not be able to force your biological father to have any sort of relationship with you either legal or emotional.

 

[xylene]

My question is how and where do I begin in establishing him as bio father for legal issues?

You don't

It is way too late to do anything.

You are not going to force either bio or legal father to give you inheritance.

You are an adult, and decades have passed.

If this guy wants to, he could allow you to get some blood tests. He could write you into his will.

Other than that, you won't be changing your birth certificate with these facts and some abandonment trauma that you have found information on.

I suggest you continue to seek emotional help for this.

 

[MycahW]

a little more info

ok, I do not expect to get any kind of relationship with bio father...other than his money(he did tell me i am an only child and he did not marry) should I just let the state get it? also, I dont know for certain he is my bio father, that is what I am asking on here how to go about it.

And I have tried to contact him since to "just ask" , I'm asking what's next, P.I.?, internet searches?, etc?.

I have been told by a attorney here that I am entiltiled and most certainly should pursue this, money is the problem with his suggested avenue currently, lol**************....and, yes I know therapy does help, been there-done that, I'm just letting parents know if they are questioning in their mind about what to tell**************..the truth...always and early.

again, thanks but I think I may have posted in a either incorrect or uneducated forum for this type of situation, but it was worth a shot...good day all

 

[ecmst12]

You have a legal dad and this guy isn't it. You are not entitled to a penny that he does not want to leave you. You can't have 2 legal fathers.

 

[xylene]

again, thanks but I think I may have posted in a either incorrect or uneducated forum for this type of situation, but it was worth a shot...good day all

You received correct answers.

There is NO way to force this guy to become your legal father.

 

[mistoffolees]

ok, I do not expect to get any kind of relationship with bio father...other than his money(he did tell me i am an only child and he did not marry) should I just let the state get it? also, I dont know for certain he is my bio father, that is what I am asking on here how to go about it.

And I have tried to contact him since to "just ask" , I'm asking what's next, P.I.?, internet searches?, etc?.

I have been told by a attorney here that I am entiltiled and most certainly should pursue this, money is the problem with his suggested avenue currently, lol**************....and, yes I know therapy does help, been there-done that, I'm just letting parents know if they are questioning in their mind about what to tell**************..the truth...always and early.

again, thanks but I think I may have posted in a either incorrect or uneducated forum for this type of situation, but it was worth a shot...good day all

No, you simply asked us a different question than you apparently asked your attorney.

The information you got is correct. There is nothing you can do to force the person to submit to a DNA test or otherwise establish paternity.

Now, AFTER HE DIES, if he dies intestate (without a will), you might possibly be able to file a claim against the estate as his only surviving relative. But that assumes:
1. He dies before you do.
2. He doesn't have a will
3. You can convince the court to hear your claim
4. He never gave up his parental rights
and
5. After DNA testing, he IS found to be your biological father.

 

[Silverplum]

I detect a distinct whiff of whining.

 

[xylene]

5. After DNA testing, he IS found to be your biological father.

And what your lawyer, who is more than eager to get money did not tell you is that compelling DNA testing even on a dead guy to appease the desires of a 48 year old man with no interests other than some random story told by mom is going to be hard. and expensive lawyers fees....

And you might lose - no test

And if tested - you might get the result you were not hoping for...

 

[Zigner]

Why have you ignored the very first question I asked? Were you adopted? By this I mean, were you adopted by the man on your birth cert?

 

[MycahW]

let me try to bottom line this

I am looking at this simply because "supposed bio dad" has substantial estate (he told me) he has no other heir's, (he told me)....I only inquired about assumed father because of something I read on this forum...I don't think either owe's me anything after all this time, and for emotional abandonment or whatever the hell someone mentioned.....that's just hilarious, he didn't even know he was a father until I was grown so how could he abandon what he is unaware of? I am wanting to know what least costly route of locating bio father I can pursue so that I can serve him with "a statement of paternity" at which time it is a legally binding document in Arkansas...he has the option of requesting a DNA test...I hope he will, but in the event he doesn't and should pass...I am sole heir if no will is left, if a will is left and I am not in it, I have the legal recourse to contest it....this is what I have learned so far that appears to hold legal water...if anyone has can direct me to something different please do....I'm done now, this is giving me a headache..lol

 

[Silverplum]

I am looking at this simply because "supposed bio dad" has substantial estate (he told me) he has no other heir's, (he told me)....I only inquired about assumed father because of something I read on this forum...I don't think either owe's me anything after all this time, and for emotional abandonment or whatever the hell someone mentioned.....that's just hilarious, he didn't even know he was a father until I was grown so how could he abandon what he is unaware of? I am wanting to know what least costly route of locating bio father I can pursue so that I can serve him with "a statement of paternity" at which time it is a legally binding document in Arkansas...he has the option of requesting a DNA test...I hope he will, but in the event he doesn't and should pass...I am sole heir if no will is left, if a will is left and I am not in it, I have the legal recourse to contest it....this is what I have learned so far that appears to hold legal water...if anyone has can direct me to something different please do....I'm done now, this is giving me a headache..lol

We're too "uneducated" to figure out all that stuff.

 

[mistoffolees]

I am looking at this simply because "supposed bio dad" has substantial estate (he told me) he has no other heir's, (he told me)....I only inquired about assumed father because of something I read on this forum...I don't think either owe's me anything after all this time, and for emotional abandonment or whatever the hell someone mentioned.....that's just hilarious, he didn't even know he was a father until I was grown so how could he abandon what he is unaware of? I am wanting to know what least costly route of locating bio father I can pursue so that I can serve him with "a statement of paternity" at which time it is a legally binding document in Arkansas...he has the option of requesting a DNA test...I hope he will, but in the event he doesn't and should pass...I am sole heir if no will is left, if a will is left and I am not in it, I have the legal recourse to contest it....this is what I have learned so far that appears to hold legal water...if anyone has can direct me to something different please do....I'm done now, this is giving me a headache..lol

As you were told - several times. You can not file for paternity as an adult. If you give him a statement of paternity form he could (and should) simply throw it in the trash. No court is going to order him to submit to a paternity test.

I do hope, however, for his peace of mind that he has created a will and ensured that you never get a penny.