Being sued for support

[caddleprod]

What is the name of your state? FL

My soon to be ex-wife and I seperated back in late August of last year. She voluntarily moved out of our residence taking our youngest son with her. Since then she has lived with her mother over in an adjacent county to mine. I have also given her money on almost every paycheck of mine to help her out with supporting my son. This is all documented with bank statements as i transfered the money from my bank account to hers online.

She apparently went to the local DCF to see about getting Aide. I guess maybe food stamps and other offerings they provide. Next thing i know is i get served from DCF and Florida Dept. of Revenue. I have a court date next week. They are suing me for child support. Also for all the months since we have been seperated. Also included in their suit is any legal fees incured on their part.

We are in the process of finishing up the divorce. We were planning on doing it ourselves with a divorce kit to save $$$ on legal fees. We have everything agreed upon except the child support. That was the only issue left we were trying to iron out. Of course she was wanting more than what the calculators say i should provide for one child. I do not have a problem paying more than what the calculators are saying i should provide, but she is wanting more like an extra $200.00 more than what they say i should pay, and that would make it impossible for me to be able to pay my own bills.

My question is. I do not know what she told DCF, whether she told them i was not giving her any money at all, or what. I am wondering if i have any legal leg to stand on here. I mean we are not legally divorced. She moved out voluntarily, and i have been giving her money since she left which i have documented. Does that not count for anything? Why does Florida Dept. of Revenue even have to be involved.

Thanks for any help anyone can provide here.

 

[seniorjudge]

What is the name of your state? FL

My soon to be ex-wife and I seperated back in late August of last year. She voluntarily moved out of our residence taking our youngest son with her. Since then she has lived with her mother over in an adjacent county to mine. I have also given her money on almost every paycheck of mine to help her out with supporting my son. This is all documented with bank statements as i transfered the money from my bank account to hers online.

She apparently went to the local DCF to see about getting Aide. I guess maybe food stamps and other offerings they provide. Next thing i know is i get served from DCF and Florida Dept. of Revenue. I have a court date next week. They are suing me for child support. Also for all the months since we have been seperated. Also included in their suit is any legal fees incured on their part.

We are in the process of finishing up the divorce. We were planning on doing it ourselves with a divorce kit to save $$$ on legal fees. We have everything agreed upon except the child support. That was the only issue left we were trying to iron out. Of course she was wanting more than what the calculators say i should provide for one child. I do not have a problem paying more than what the calculators are saying i should provide, but she is wanting more like an extra $200.00 more than what they say i should pay, and that would make it impossible for me to be able to pay my own bills.

My question is. I do not know what she told DCF, whether she told them i was not giving her any money at all, or what. I am wondering if i have any legal leg to stand on here. I mean we are not legally divorced. She moved out voluntarily, and i have been giving her money since she left which i have documented. Does that not count for anything? Why does Florida Dept. of Revenue even have to be involved.

Thanks for any help anyone can provide here.

She moved out voluntarily, and i have been giving her money since she left which i have documented.

This is considered a gift, not child support.

 

[fairisfair]

some additional questions, does she work, would the money that you are paying still make her eligible for benefits? obviously she must have applied for cash assistance or medical benefits, that is why they are after you now. food stamps do not require disclosure of absent parent information. There is no way to know what she told them, have you asked her? Until the case is settled, I don't believe I would be sending any additional monies as they may well be considered a gift, even though you are making trackable transfers, there is no way of proving that its is "child support".

 

[NotSoNew]

all of that money you gave her voluntarily is now considered a gift, regardless of the proof or not.

 

[caddleprod]

Ok what if i have some proof of her asking me for a certain amount this week or that week for our son? would that be considered giving her support for him?
yes she is working. she recently started a new job that is actually paying her better than her previous one. as far as medical benefits that she might be trying to get from DCF, i have both her and my son insured.

 

[fairisfair]

Ok what if i have some proof of her asking me for a certain amount this week or that week for our son? would that be considered giving her support for him?
yes she is working. she recently started a new job that is actually paying her better than her previous one. as far as medical benefits that she might be trying to get from DCF, i have both her and my son insured.

No, what would be proof of support would be payments in accordance with a support order. So, she has no reason to apply for state medical benefits, and probably can't get TANF if she is working at all, let alone at a better job than before. Wow, then I would have to venture a guess that she has approached CSE and asked them to assist her in obtaining a child support order. If this is the case, then chances are that she knows all too well that any money you are paying to her off the record, will remain that, off the record.

 

[Ithildriel]

Ok what if i have some proof of her asking me for a certain amount this week or that week for our son? would that be considered giving her support for him?
yes she is working. she recently started a new job that is actually paying her better than her previous one. as far as medical benefits that she might be trying to get from DCF, i have both her and my son insured.

What kind of proof are you talking about?

Like other's said, if it is not court ordered it is a gift.

Your only shot at possibly getting it considered support would be to hire an attorney (or at the very least go get a free consult or two), but even then, I think your chance is slim.

Bottom line? They are going to want the money from you that they gave her for support.

So if you don't want to get an attorney, buy yourself some KY grab your ankles and spell run.

 

[caddleprod]

Wow. ok thanks to all that replied. I guess it would not do me any good to have legal representation for this court date then correct? A lawyer would not even be able to say what i gave her was child support right?

 

[Ithildriel]

Wow. ok thanks to all that replied. I guess it would not do me any good to have legal representation for this court date then correct? A lawyer would not even be able to say what i gave her was child support right?

If I was you, I would find an attorney in my area to get a free consult and ask. What is the worse case scenario? Worst case is they are going to tell you same thing you found out here. He can look over the rest of your divorce agreement as well, and let you know where your getting boned there. I wouldn't trust the stbx on anything at this point.

 

[caddleprod]

Will do. Thanks for the replies.

 

[fairisfair]

Will do. Thanks for the replies.

I would still be prepared with all of the banking records and documentation that you do have. You never know there are exceptions to every rule, better be prepared and get lucky, than have a chance to get lucky and not be prepared

 

[thankyou]

I would definately hire an attorney if you can afford one.
It is possible an attorney would help you to pay less in child
support than you would if you had no attorney.

 

[Ithildriel]

I would still be prepared with all of the banking records and documentation that you do have. You never know there are exceptions to every rule, better be prepared and get lucky, than have a chance to get lucky and not be prepared

That sounds familiar. Was that the Boy Scout Creedo, or a Trojan commercial?

 

[fairisfair]

That sounds familiar. Was that the Boy Scout Creedo, or a Trojan commercial?

I can always count on you Ith. I didn't even think anyone would notice LOL

 

[MrsK]

Get an aggressive atty and get him/her to try his HARDEST to get the court to consider your already paid support. Yes, it is usually considered a gift, but what is the harm in trying, esp when you consider that if you dont try, you will pay it again. So why not try??

Also, you could ask her to be an HONEST woman (I know, its unlikely, but try) and forgive the arrears for those months if they will not consider your already made payments.

And, if your state considers parenting time as far as child support goes, make sure to tell them how much time you have with your son.