Boarding school situation?

[Atlantix]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

I have full custody of my daughter and we are residents of California. She is 14 and starting 9th grade. To help me out so I can work full time she has been invited to live with some friends in their home in North Carolina to go to high school there but to do this the family claims they need a power of attorney. Does that change my custody status and will I be required to pay CS if I allow her to go there during the school year?

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

I have full custody of my daughter and we are residents of California. She is 14 and starting 9th grade. To help me out so I can work full time she has been invited to live with some friends in their home in North Carolina to go to high school there but to do this the family claims they need a power of attorney. Does that change my custody status and will I be required to pay CS if I allow her to go there during the school year?

Living with friends is not boarding school

I don't understand. Both my husband and I work full-time and neither of us has to send our child away in order to do so. What does the other parent say about this situation?

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

I have full custody of my daughter and we are residents of California. She is 14 and starting 9th grade. To help me out so I can work full time she has been invited to live with some friends in their home in North Carolina to go to high school there but to do this the family claims they need a power of attorney. Does that change my custody status and will I be required to pay CS if I allow her to go there during the school year?

I'm sorry... I don't understand why, at 14, your daughter prevents you from working full time? My child is 4 and I work 2 jobs... one that amounts to an average of 50 hours per week and the other that amounts to about 20 hours per week (including prep time)...

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

I have full custody of my daughter and we are residents of California. She is 14 and starting 9th grade. To help me out so I can work full time she has been invited to live with some friends in their home in North Carolina to go to high school there but to do this the family claims they need a power of attorney. Does that change my custody status and will I be required to pay CS if I allow her to go there during the school year?

In addition to the other advice you've gotten, where is the other parent? If you don't want the kid, the other parent is first in line - not some legal strangers clear across the country. Plan on getting dragged back into court and possibly losing custody if you try this.

 

[Antigone*]

I'm sorry... I don't understand why, at 14, your daughter prevents you from working full time? My child is 4 and I work 2 jobs... one that amounts to an average of 50 hours per week and the other that amounts to about 20 hours per week (including prep time)...

I suspect there is way more to this story. This boarding school crapola is just spin.

 

[xylene]

It doesn't have to be Choate... or Hogwoarts.

She is sending her child away to live with other for school.

She is paying that family.

That's boarding school.

 

[CSO286]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

I have full custody of my daughter and we are residents of California. She is 14 and starting 9th grade. To help me out so I can work full time she has been invited to live with some friends in their home in North Carolina to go to high school there but to do this the family claims they need a power of attorney. Does that change my custody status and will I be required to pay CS if I allow her to go there during the school year?

You should have no trouble working full time if your daughter is 14. She should be able to cook, clean and take care of herself. She should be able to do her homework and do chores without superivsion for extended periods of time.

My eleven year old daughter does this much and more--while I am away working my full time job.

If you transfer guardianship to these other people and they apply for any kind of public assistance for/with your child, you can expect to be ordered to pay child support.

And What does the child's other parent think of this? I'm pretty sure if the other parent got wind of the fact that you are keeping the child support that he/she pays each month and you ARE not providing the child's basic needs (food, shelter, schooling), there will be some holy hell raised.

 

[Antigone*]

She is sending her child away to live with other for school.

She is paying that family.

That's boarding school.

Xylene, that is paying to live at a friend's house. Now if the child were to live at Hogwarts, that is boarding school.

 

[Proserpina]

She is sending her child away to live with other for school.

She is paying that family.

That's boarding school.

Oh xylene, do hush your muffin on this one please!

 

[cbg]

She is sending her child away to live with other for school.

She is paying that family.

That's boarding school.

No, that's boarding family. When she lives at school, that's boarding school.

 

[Antigone*]

Oh xylene, do hush your muffin on this one please!

I think xylene is taking the short bus on this one. Do they allow muffins on the short bus?

 

[Atlantix]

If you transfer guardianship to these other people and they apply for any kind of public assistance for/with your child, you can expect to be ordered to pay child support.

So the power of attorney when submitted will actually transfer custody? Is it considered identical to court ordered guardianship or is it used solely to enable the family to take her to the doctor?

And What does the child's other parent think of this? I'm pretty sure if the other parent got wind of the fact that you are keeping the child support that he/she pays each month and you ARE not providing the child's basic needs (food, shelter, schooling), there will be some holy hell raised.

My ex is dead.

 

[stealth2]

Again - why can you not work F/T with your daughter living at home?

I've worked F/T with kids (note the plural) at home of that age, as well as younger and older. It's really not that hard - at 14, she should be more than capable of helping out around the house. Even to the point of helping prep meals, if not actually cooking them.

Seriously - why do you want to shovel your child off on strangers during the best years of her life?

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

Again - why can you not work F/T with your daughter living at home?

I've worked F/T with kids (note the plural) at home of that age, as well as younger and older. It's really not that hard - at 14, she should be more than capable of helping out around the house. Even to the point of helping prep meals, if not actually cooking them.

Seriously - why do you want to shovel your child off on strangers during the best years of her life?

This was the time of my stepdaughters life I loved the most. I can't imagine purposefully missing out on these years.

 

[mistoffolees]

So the power of attorney when submitted will actually transfer custody? Is it considered identical to court ordered guardianship or is it used solely to enable the family to take her to the doctor?


My ex is dead.

OK. I won't go into whether you should or not - that has been covered.

Legally, you may be able to get away with a power of attorney (check with the school since they may or may not allow that). If you can get away with a power of attorney, that gives up the fewest rights. Basically, you give the other people the right to make certain decisions that are spelled out. For example, you can give them the right to make educational decisions. You can give them the right to make medical decisions, and so on.

If the school will not accept that, you will have to make the other people guardians. If you do so, and if they require state aid for some reason, the state could come back on you to reimburse any money the state spends.

Before you do this, I would suggest that you meet with an attorney to go over the situation and make sure you want to do it. You should discuss rings like:
- Expenses (not just your monthly payment, but clothing, extras, transportation, etc)
- Your Liability (what happens if the kid steals a car and has an accident?)
- Educational decisions (how do you ensure that these people are going to make the educational decisions you support)?
- Their liability (what happens if they sign the kid up for soccer and the kid ends up seriously injured?)

Until you've addressed all of those things to the complete satisfaction of your attorney, I wouldn't even consider it (well, I wouldn't consider it anyway, but that's not the issue).