CA child support modification

[celiah]

What is the name of your state? CA

My child was six years old when the last court order was issued.
My ex was earning very little and was ordered to pay $137.
I was awarded physical custody and he was awarded the standard 2 weekends per month, half of the holidays and vacations including 6 weeks in the summer (custody reverses in the summer).

She is now 15 1/2 and has decided that she no longer gets anything out of of the visits.
She actually hates going.
She left him a message on 05/03/06 to tell him that she no longer wanted to visit every other weekend beginning with 05/05/06. She asked him to return her call and to he has not as of today. The last time I spoke to him, he said "F you" and hung up on me. He was mad at me because I sent him an email rather than calling him to inform him that our daughter may have asthma, doctor appts etc.

Anyway, it's clear that he is not easy to deal with and I don't want to be in contempt of court by not making her go there etc. He also earns a great deal more than he did in 1997. He earns $55,000/yr or so and I earn $66,000.

I need advice on what to do. It is SO expensive to go back to court and she is 15 1/2.
I want to put away money for college etc.

Another thing is that I just remarried 03/22/06 and I'm not sure if my spouse's income will be considered.

In addition, my ex was recently divorced 08/05. He has two other children from that marriage. He and his second wife asked signed an agreement to have him sign a quitclaim deed to their home in exchange for waiving child support for the two kids. If he hadn't signed the quitclaim he stood to receive approximately $100,000.

Please help.

 

[JETX]

Please help.

Help with what??
Either spend the money it takes to revisit the court order... or accept the order as it is.
As for your daughter, let her right her father a very nice letter (NO input from you) and explain her reasons for wishing to stop the visits.
None of your other post is relevant.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? CA

My child was six years old when the last court order was issued.
My ex was earning very little and was ordered to pay $137.
I was awarded physical custody and he was awarded the standard 2 weekends per month, half of the holidays and vacations including 6 weeks in the summer (custody reverses in the summer).

She is now 15 1/2 and has decided that she no longer gets anything out of of the visits.
She actually hates going.
She left him a message on 05/03/06 to tell him that she no longer wanted to visit every other weekend beginning with 05/05/06. She asked him to return her call and to he has not as of today. The last time I spoke to him, he said "F you" and hung up on me. He was mad at me because I sent him an email rather than calling him to inform him that our daughter may have asthma, doctor appts etc.

Anyway, it's clear that he is not easy to deal with and I don't want to be in contempt of court by not making her go there etc. He also earns a great deal more than he did in 1997. He earns $55,000/yr or so and I earn $66,000.

I need advice on what to do. It is SO expensive to go back to court and she is 15 1/2.
I want to put away money for college etc.

Another thing is that I just remarried 03/22/06 and I'm not sure if my spouse's income will be considered.

In addition, my ex was recently divorced 08/05. He has two other children from that marriage. He and his second wife asked signed an agreement to have him sign a quitclaim deed to their home in exchange for waiving child support for the two kids. If he hadn't signed the quitclaim he stood to receive approximately $100,000.

Please help.

One thing that you have to understand is that your daughter doesn't get to choose whether or not to visit her father. If he chooses to file contempt of court against you because she isn't visiting you will get sanctioned by the court. Maybe not sanctioned badly since he isn't actually attempting to pick her up for visits....but sanctioned nonetheless. Your daughter would have to resume visits at that point unless you want to end up getting far more serious sanctions. Unless there are serious "issues"...its unlikely that a judge would ever let your daughter "choose".

However, its also possible that he won't push the issue because he realizes that if things end up back in court he could be looking at a dramatically higher child support payment. If he is only paying 137.00 a month with an income of 55k he is getting a SERIOUS break. Google for an online child support calculator for your state and run the numbers....just to see....however, don't let that tempt you into filing for an increase if you want your daughter to have any choice at all.

And last.....and this isn't remotely legal advice.....just personal....it was horribly cruel for your daughter to leave him a message about no longer wanting to visit. That was a discussion that should have taken place face to face..with explanations included. Think about how you would have felt if you had been on the receiving end of that kind of message...PARTICULARLY when dealing with a divorce and separation from your other children.

 

[CALIFPROLAW]

My response:

Besides the monetary sanctions that you would be hit with, your daughter will be "hit" by the court too - - if the court is of the view that your daughter is unreasonably refusing to visit with him, it might give your ex-husband sole or joint legal custody over the issue of the child's driver's license (in addition to ordering counseling). Your daughter, knowing she might not otherwise drive until age 18 may motivate her to attend counseling and follow through with visitation. That should "hit home" with her.

IAAL

 

[ceara19]

You think he is being unreasonable?!? If he is, then there are a whole lot other unreasonable parents out there. I'd be pissed to if the ex decided it was OK for the CHILD to just stop visitation because she feels as though she gets nothing out of it and because the parent couldn't take 30 seconds to pick up the phone to tell me that the child has a very SERIOUS medical problem.

Are you going to let your child quit school because she no longer feels that she "gets anything out of it"?

As far as the child support is concerned, if he makes more money, file to modify the order.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Both your ex and his most recent exwife ere wise to take the quitclaim in liew of child support as his subsequent, younger children would not be entitled to as much child support as your child but more than $100k but at the same time, $100k in equity now is better than arrearages later for all concerned, it also means that if you went for a modification you wouldn't be hit with "hardship" claims from him as long as your child continues to visit with her dad. Children at that age often don't want to participate in activities with their parents or to disrupt their social lives whether from divorced or intact families. The fact that you have filed to modify child support is your fault, you may be surprised what is owed when you run the numbers. You can go to the Family Law Facilitator's office and run the numbers based on the facts of your case and then decide what to do. IAAL is correct, dad has to sign for the license.

 

[Ohiogal]

Help with what??
Either spend the money it takes to revisit the court order... or accept the order as it is.
As for your daughter, let her right her father a very nice letter (NO input from you) and explain her reasons for wishing to stop the visits.None of your other post is relevant.

JETX, this surprises me. Daughter has absolutely no say so to disobey the court order. If they went back to court the judge might listen to her but not if it meant not giving dad any time. If daughter doesn't go, MOM is in contempt.

 

[JETX]

JETX, this surprises me. Daughter has absolutely no say so to disobey the court order. If they went back to court the judge might listen to her but not if it meant not giving dad any time. If daughter doesn't go, MOM is in contempt.

Sorry, but you are jumping ahead of the story. My suggestion for the daughter to write her own OPINION was an attempt to resolve this without further litigation. If the father understands his daughters reasons, he may agree to a modification of the current order, without any contempt issues. If the father doesn't accept his ALMOST adult daughters opinions, it is likely that the court would take it as a wish of an almost adult child.... and, depending on the reasons, rule favorably on the modification.

 

[LdiJ]

Sorry, but you are jumping ahead of the story. My suggestion for the daughter to write her own OPINION was an attempt to resolve this without further litigation. If the father understands his daughters reasons, he may agree to a modification of the current order, without any contempt issues. If the father doesn't accept his ALMOST adult daughters opinions, it is likely that the court would take it as a wish of an almost adult child.... and, depending on the reasons, rule favorably on the modification.

I sat in court and watched a judge in my state rule on a modification based on the wishes of an almost adult child.....I watched another judge tell an ncp to "Get a handle" on his relationship with his teen or the judge WOULD rule based on the child's wishes.

Yes....for the most part the child doesn't get to decide until the child is a legal adult. However there are exceptions to that rule....and even more the parent risks the teen seeing age 18 as "freedom" day.... Even non-divorced parents screw that up sometimes

 

[JETX]

I sat in court and watched a judge in my state rule on a modification based on the wishes of an almost adult child.....I watched another judge tell an ncp to "Get a handle" on his relationship with his teen or the judge WOULD rule based on the child's wishes.

Good Lord!!! Don't even get me started on what idiocy I have seen come from the bench!!!

 

[carin_truong]

Hello,

I live in California too and was in a similiar situation. You need to contact your local District Attorney's office, depending on what county you are in. The process is slow, but you pay very little. California is big on making sure the kids are being taken care of. As for whether your daughter she no longer wants to go to see her father, it is NOT her choice. However, if the father says fine make sure it is all in writing. He may put up a fight saying well shes not visiting so why should I have to pay more child support? Let the judge decide that. Your current spouses income is NOT considered however they will need information on his finances.

 

[Ohiogal]

Sorry, but you are jumping ahead of the story. My suggestion for the daughter to write her own OPINION was an attempt to resolve this without further litigation. If the father understands his daughters reasons, he may agree to a modification of the current order, without any contempt issues. If the father doesn't accept his ALMOST adult daughters opinions, it is likely that the court would take it as a wish of an almost adult child.... and, depending on the reasons, rule favorably on the modification.

Sorry for misunderstanding. She has to be careful about this though. If dad argues that mom put the child up to writing the letter it could break the law. In Ohio no one but a judge is allowed to attempt to elicit a response from a minor in which said response (written, verbal or else) states where the child wants to live or visit. If mom has any role in having the child write the letter it could actually cause her problems down the line.