Can I find out how my support is spent?

[Titusalone77]

What is the name of your state?

New Mexico

I have a long-standing battle with my ex-wife over child support money. She refuses to tell me how it's spent. My concern is that I paying for the same things twice. Is the paying parent entitled to know where the money goes?

 

[CALIF-LAWPRO23]

What is the name of your state?

New Mexico

I have a long-standing battle with my ex-wife over child support money. She refuses to tell me how it's spent. My concern is that I paying for the same things twice. Is the paying parent entitled to know where the money goes?

My response:

Nope. Once you put that check in an envelope, and mail it out, it's no longer YOUR money. Therefore, and by law, you're not entitled to an "accounting."

IAAL

 

[NotSoNew]

What is the name of your state?

New Mexico

I have a long-standing battle with my ex-wife over child support money. She refuses to tell me how it's spent. My concern is that I paying for the same things twice. Is the paying parent entitled to know where the money goes?

she doesnt have to tell you how its spent. and what do you mean by "paying for the same things twice" the children live with her so more then likely she puts out the money for the things they need, when she gets the CS that her reimbursement for your share of what shes already spent.

 

[AHA]

My concern is that I paying for the same things twice.

What does that mean??

As long as the kid/s are not in hospital for malnutrition, not walking around naked and not ditching school, the money is going to what it's intended for.
Find something else in life to focus time and energy on.

 

[fairisfair]

What is the name of your state?

New Mexico

I have a long-standing battle with my ex-wife over child support money. She refuses to tell me how it's spent. My concern is that I paying for the same things twice. Is the paying parent entitled to know where the money goes?

you are kidding right??

 

[Ohiogal]

you are kidding right??

Um actually I fear he was serious. Which means titusalone needs a bit of therapy to quit being a control freak.

 

[NCP Dad in TN]

Being a paying parent myself, and having been in the situation where the kids have often either going without, going with too little, or my ex hounding me for MORE than my share... I admit that I have wished she could have to account for how her money is spent. THE ONLY REASON BEING that she never seems to have enough... or she always wants more... or she wants me to pay for EVERYTHING...

I can guarantee that if my kids dressed better at their moms (not style- I'm talking clothes that actually FIT and are in decent condition) ate better (a vegetable here and there wouldn't kill them at her house) and if my ex didn't always act like the 41% of my income was just so pathetic, then I would never have a reason to question where the money was spent.

Unfortunately, I have heard that phrase too many times... that as long as they have clothes on their back... food in their tummy's... and a place to live, that it doesn't matter if the clotes are too small, their dinner is a Pop Tart and a diet coke, and the neighborhood is ridden with crime. Which is really, really sad.

But no, the courts can't be expected to micromanage how the receiving parent spends the other parents money. That's where they are expecting the receiving parent to be responsible and use that money wisely FOR THE KIDS.

 

[AHA]

Being a paying parent myself, and having been in the situation where the kids have often either going without, going with too little, or my ex hounding me for MORE than my share... I admit that I have wished she could have to account for how her money is spent. THE ONLY REASON BEING that she never seems to have enough... or she always wants more... or she wants me to pay for EVERYTHING...

I can guarantee that if my kids dressed better at their moms (not style- I'm talking clothes that actually FIT and are in decent condition) ate better (a vegetable here and there wouldn't kill them at her house) and if my ex didn't always act like the 41% of my income was just so pathetic, then I would never have a reason to question where the money was spent.

Unfortunately, I have heard that phrase too many times... that as long as they have clothes on their back... food in their tummy's... and a place to live, that it doesn't matter if the clotes are too small, their dinner is a Pop Tart and a diet coke, and the neighborhood is ridden with crime. Which is really, really sad.

But no, the courts can't be expected to micromanage how the receiving parent spends the other parents money. That's where they are expecting the receiving parent to be responsible and use that money wisely FOR THE KIDS.

That's when you take the proof you have that your kid's mom is unfit and you use that in court to fight for custody. You don't just send a check and watch your kids go down, you do something about improving their life.
It is not the same thing as needing to know how the cs is spent.

 

[MrsK]

That's when you take the proof you have that your kid's mom is unfit and you use that in court to fight for custody. You don't just send a check and watch your kids go down, you do something about improving their life.
It is not the same thing as needing to know how the cs is spent.

Except that some (maybe even on the verge of a lot...) of the time for a dad to get custody mom has to be a crackhead who doesnt feed the kids for days on end, or leaves them home alone, or has a molestor boyfriend.

 

[AHA]

Except that some (maybe even on the verge of a lot...) of the time for a dad to get custody mom has to be a crackhead who doesnt feed the kids for days on end, or leaves them home alone, or has a molestor boyfriend.

It's all up to each and every parent to calculate how much their kids are worth fighting for.

 

[fairisfair]

Being a paying parent myself, and having been in the situation where the kids have often either going without, going with too little, or my ex hounding me for MORE than my share... I admit that I have wished she could have to account for how her money is spent. THE ONLY REASON BEING that she never seems to have enough... or she always wants more... or she wants me to pay for EVERYTHING...

I can guarantee that if my kids dressed better at their moms (not style- I'm talking clothes that actually FIT and are in decent condition) ate better (a vegetable here and there wouldn't kill them at her house) and if my ex didn't always act like the 41% of my income was just so pathetic, then I would never have a reason to question where the money was spent.

Unfortunately, I have heard that phrase too many times... that as long as they have clothes on their back... food in their tummy's... and a place to live, that it doesn't matter if the clotes are too small, their dinner is a Pop Tart and a diet coke, and the neighborhood is ridden with crime. Which is really, really sad.

But no, the courts can't be expected to micromanage how the receiving parent spends the other parents money. That's where they are expecting the receiving parent to be responsible and use that money wisely FOR THE KIDS.

come on dad, this guy is the male version of your controlling, everything is mine, ex wife. He doesn't say anything about concerns for the children, just his money. Hell, I wouldn't tell him where I spent every last dime if I was STILL married to him, let alone divorced.

 

[Lisabyday]

No you are not entitled to know how your money is spent.

My ex used to ask me for an itemized list of how his money was spent. I gave him a list of every thing that I spent money on that involved our daughter. This list also included the lost wages I would incur because I had to take off with our daughter due to illnesses, etc. By the time the list was completed he owed me an additional 600 per month. He got the point and we never had that conversation again.

 

[fairisfair]

No you are not entitled to know how your money is spent.

My ex used to ask me for an itemized list of how his money was spent. I gave him a list of every thing that I spent money on that involved our daughter. This list also included the lost wages I would incur because I had to take off with our daughter due to illnesses, etc. By the time the list was completed he owed me an additional 600 per month. He got the point and we never had that conversation again.

you go girl

 

[NotSoNew]

It's all up to each and every parent to calculate how much their kids are worth fighting for.

whaaaat?!?!? seriously we all know that a change in custody is not going to be made based solely upon the CP dressing child/children in too small clothes and feeding them pop-tarts. and if anyone ever came here and asked that they would get bashed.

i understand what NCPdad is saying, we feel the same fustrations about CS with husbands ex, but we know that nothing can be done, and as long as the child is fed and clothed she isnt accoutable for where her money is going.

but this guy doesnt seem to care about that, i think NCPdad was just making a point.

 

[fairisfair]

whaaaat?!?!? seriously we all know that a change in custody is not going to be made based solely upon the CP dressing child/children in too small clothes and feeding them pop-tarts. and if anyone ever came here and asked that they would get bashed.

i understand what NCPdad is saying, we feel the same fustrations about CS with husbands ex, but we know that nothing can be done, and as long as the child is fed and clothed she isnt accoutable for where her money is going.

but this guy doesnt seem to care about that, i think NCPdad was just making a point.

I understand what he is saying too, and from his other posts, we all know that his ex is a controlling, gimme gimme girl. And highly unlikely to win any mother of the year awards any time soon.

This guy however, doesn't mention being concerned with anything other than his money.