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Can I get my Child Support Arrears adjusted?

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iowelots

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Colorado

Child support order is out of AZ

I would like to thank any responders up front or their time.

I owe a lot of child support. $44,000 to be exact.

It all started when my sons mom left me. We lived in Colorado and she decided to leave me for a guy who lived in AZ, so one night she just left. She took my son, who was 6 months old at the time.

A few years later I was served with a notice to be in court in AZ the next morning for a child support hearing. Since I lived in Colorado and am on a limited budget this was pretty impossible. I was stupid and young and didnt even give the court a call to try to work anything else out, so I was ordered to pay $250 a month based on my income of $12 per hour. The problem with this was I was working as a furniture mover and often did not get 40 hours a week. Still, it was taken from my check and I paid it for the first year, at the expense of my rent and buying food.

I then lost that job and started working a job that only paid me $8 per hour. Again, I was stupid and just allowed it to come out of my check without asking for a modification order. During the first hearing, I was granted partial custody rights but this didnt work out for two reasons: 1) I live in colorado and she lived in AZ 2)I had absolutely no idea where she and her new husband had moved, where they lived or anything. I asked once to get this information and was told no by the child support agency.

Over the next 8 years I was pretty much out of work half the time. Whenever I did have a job I paid my support. Again, being young and uniformed of my rights, I never asked for a modification order. Come to find out she only had the boy for 2 of those years, the other six she spent in prison while the grandparents, unbeknownst to me, took care of the child. 4 years ago they decided to adopt him, which I agreed to since it was where he spent his entire life and I didnt want to take him away from the only family he has ever known.

From my understanding, adoption stops child support due to the fact I gave up my parental rights. This is not what happened and when I found steady work I got the letter telling me I would have to continue paying. Not the arrears I owed, but still the $250 a month. I called the agency in AZ and informed them of this but was told adoption records are sealed so there was nothing they could do for me, I would still just have to pay. So for the past four years I continued to pay as I cant afford a lawyer, I can barely afford rent. Still wasnt getting $12 an hour or even 40 hours a week.

I recently got back in contact with the mother and son and am trying to make up for missing a lot of his life. Her parents were the ones who adopted him but she still gets to see him a lot so when she does she lets him talk to me. Right now im just sort of doing my best to reconnect with him and make up for the lost years. And the relationship with his mother is a lot better now we arent stupid teenagers.

I know I owe back child support for at least two years, which I have no problem paying off as soon as I can. Circumstances, however, being as they were, and are, I think the $44,000 amount is unfair. Had I been given any access to my kid during that time I would believe differently. There is also about a year and a half after the adoption that added to the arrears.

I know mistakes were made, especially on my part. I know I should have tried harder to get a better job and find and be a part of my sons life. All I can do right now is try my best to fix it, with him first so he knows he has a dad who cares about him, and also with myself because $44,000 is a lot of money to be on my credit report and to be indebted.

My question is this: Do I have any recourse at all when it comes to the amount I owe? Is it possible, if I need to go to court, that I could go in Colorado and not in AZ, since I am still too broke to make that trip? Is there any way I can get the amount reduced, considering what I have paid already, the absence of any knowledge of my child whatsoever, and also the money I actually made during that time?

I ask for you to hold your judgment on me being a deadbeat dad, as I know I dropped the ball for a few years by being irresponsible myself and also not fighting for my parental rights. Im willing to pay what I owe but I want it to be fair.

Any advice would be well appreciated. thank you for reading.
 
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CSO286

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Colorado

Child support order is out of AZ

I would like to thank any responders up front or their time.

I owe a lot of child support. $44,000 to be exact.

It all started when my sons mom left me. We lived in Colorado and she decided to leave me for a guy who lived in AZ, so one night she just left. She took my son, who was 6 months old at the time.
This is water under the bridge, much of your backstory is. Can't do anything about it, so best to let that go.

A few years later I was served with a notice to be in court in AZ the next morning for a child support hearing. Since I lived in Colorado and am on a limited budget this was pretty impossible. I was stupid and young and didnt even give the court a call to try to work anything else out, so I was ordered to pay $250 a month based on my income of $12 per hour. The problem with this was I was working as a furniture mover and often did not get 40 hours a week. Still, it was taken from my check and I paid it for the first year, at the expense of my rent and buying food.
Yes, you should have contacted the courts. I do rather doubt you only rcvd the notice of hearing and not any of the preceding documents.
In addition, you could have appeared by phone, and courts do offer fee waivers for indigent clients.

I then lost that job and started working a job that only paid me $8 per hour. Again, I was stupid and just allowed it to come out of my check without asking for a modification order. During the first hearing, I was granted partial custody rights but this didnt work out for two reasons: 1) I live in colorado and she lived in AZ 2)I had absolutely no idea where she and her new husband had moved, where they lived or anything. I asked once to get this information and was told no by the child support agency.
Whenever you lose a job involuntarily, you should contact your caseworker to inform them and ask about modification action. Even if CSED says they wouldn't take action to modify, you still have the right to being it in on your own without an atty (Pro se). But, again, water under the bridge.

CSED cannot release eiter party's address and contact info unless ordered to do so by the court or as part of other legal proceedings. It wasn't that they refused to help you, it was that they simply are not permitted to do so.

Over the next 8 years I was pretty much out of work half the time. Whenever I did have a job I paid my support. Again, being young and uniformed of my rights, I never asked for a modification order.
Ignorance can be fixed. When there a court order out there with your name on it, it is your duty to learn as much about it as possible. Right or wrong, CSED expects you to become educated about child support and your rights. Water under the bridge.

Come to find out she only had the boy for 2 of those years, the other six she spent in prison while the grandparents, unbeknownst to me, took care of the child. 4 years ago they decided to adopt him, which I agreed to since it was where he spent his entire life and I didnt want to take him away from the only family he has ever known.
Ok, let me tell what CSED does in these kinds of situations. They assume that the custodial parent is forwarding the money to the caretakers of the child to continue to provide for the child's needs.

I do appreciate the choice you made not to tear Junior away from the only family he knows.

From my understanding, adoption stops child support due to the fact I gave up my parental rights.
This is correct. You are no longer this child's father.


This is not what happened and when I found steady work I got the letter telling me I would have to continue paying. Not the arrears I owed, but still the $250 a month.
Now, I wonder what exactly this letter said. Because it is SOP, that when the current support is ended and arrears are still owed, that support will be collected at the amount of current, but applied to the arrears. So you'd still have to pay the same amount, however it would be paying down the arrears.

Another possibility: perhaps the adoption fell through sometime between you signing the papers and the whole thing becoming official.
Are you sure it was an adoption and not a guardianship change? Or a custody change thing only?

I called the agency in AZ and informed them of this but was told adoption records are sealed so there was nothing they could do for me, I would still just have to pay. So for the past four years I continued to pay as I cant afford a lawyer, I can barely afford rent. Still wasnt getting $12 an hour or even 40 hours a week.
Then you need to pick up another job and get an atty.

I recently got back in contact with the mother and son and am trying to make up for missing a lot of his life. Her parents were the ones who adopted him but she still gets to see him a lot so when she does she lets him talk to me. Right now im just sort of doing my best to reconnect with him and make up for the lost years. And the relationship with his mother is a lot better now we arent stupid teenagers.
Ok, nice, but irrelevant.

I know I owe back child support for at least two years, which I have no problem paying off as soon as I can. Circumstances, however, being as they were, and are, I think the $44,000 amount is unfair.
I'm going to be nice: You owe for MORE than two years. You owe current support up until the point your parental rights were terminated, regardless of who is providing care for Junior.

Had I been given any access to my kid during that time I would believe differently. There is also about a year and a half after the adoption that added to the arrears.
Child support is not a ticket to see your child. You could have traveled to visit, there are other ways contact could have been maintained.

A party cannon deny access based on the other parent's failure to pay support, nor can a parent withhold support for failure to provide access.
Just doesn't work that way.

I know mistakes were made, especially on my part. I know I should have tried harder to get a better job and find and be a part of my sons life. All I can do right now is try my best to fix it, with him first so he knows he has a dad who cares about him, and also with myself because $44,000 is a lot of money to be on my credit report and to be indebted.
If you'd like to see any part of this forgiven, or written off, you're going to need an attorney. You still don't seem to understand all the hows and whys of what's happened and an attorney can help explain it all to you.

My question is this: Do I have any recourse at all when it comes to the amount I owe? Is it possible, if I need to go to court, that I could go in Colorado and not in AZ, since I am still too broke to make that trip?
No, this would have to be done in the state that has juridiction--AZ.

Is there any way I can get the amount reduced, considering what I have paid already, the absence of any knowledge of my child whatsoever, and also the money I actually made during that time?
Possibly if you were indeed charged current support after the adoption went through.
Not for any of those other reasons. The other two reasond, you had it within your power to do something about them while they were ocurring and did not take action at the time. The courts will not retroactively modify your order. There aren't any do-overs here. Sorry.

I ask for you to hold your judgment on me being a deadbeat dad, as I know I dropped the ball for a few years by being irresponsible myself and also not fighting for my parental rights. Im willing to pay what I owe but I want it to be fair.

Any advice would be well appreciated. thank you for reading.
You're welcome.
 
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iowelots

Junior Member
Thanks for taking the time to respond, CSO286. I appreciate your insight. If anyone else has anything to add, I would be grateful.
 

tuffbrk

Senior Member
If you and Mom get along better now - it is possible that she would be willing to sign an agreement forgiving you the arrear amount. However, if she was on state assistance, it is the state you owe, not Mom. Worth checking into.
 

iowelots

Junior Member
:

And I wasn't even rude!!!!


wow

:D:D
No, you were kind of rude. But you did take the time to try to provide a bit of help and thats all that really matters. When asking for free advice one cant expect niceness.

I have heard about the possibility of her forgiving the debt. I will definitely ask her. Thanks for mentioning that tuffbrk, I was going to ask but it was late (or early). Ill def be talking to her about that.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
No, you were kind of rude. But you did take the time to try to provide a bit of help and thats all that really matters. When asking for free advice one cant expect niceness.
Sorry, but I guess I'm missing the 'rude' part of CSO's post. She presented the facts fairly honestly and didn't sugar coat them, but she wasn't rude.

I have heard about the possibility of her forgiving the debt. I will definitely ask her. Thanks for mentioning that tuffbrk, I was going to ask but it was late (or early). Ill def be talking to her about that.
Keep in mind that if the money is owed to the state, Mom can't forgive it.
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
I didn't see any rudeness, either. :rolleyes:

So you want Mom to forgive you, but don't want to forgive her?
https://forum.freeadvice.com/small-claims-courts-24/ex-accused-me-crime-i-found-innocent-can-i-recoup-losses-564623.html
 

CSO286

Senior Member
No, you were kind of rude. But you did take the time to try to provide a bit of help and thats all that really matters. When asking for free advice one cant expect niceness.
Trust me, I wasn't.


I work in child support and everything I just typed to you, is something I would have no problem with saying (and have said) to an NCP with my supervisor standing over my shoulder.

I did not attack you for your extreme absentee parenting, nor did I yell, or name call.

I told you what you could have and should have done, but didn't harp on you for not knowing or not doing it.

Learn about your child support case. The courts expect you to do so.

Start here: https://www.azdes.gov/az_child_support/

Have a nice day.
 

iowelots

Junior Member
nice you did your research silverplum, but that was a dif ex. I came here for advice so I figured Id maybe ask about more than one situation. SORRY I DIDNT KNOW I COULD DO THAT! ITS ALSO PROBABLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR SOMEONE TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE EX!

Thanks for that link CS. I'll read up on it.
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
nice you did your research silverplum, but that was a dif ex. I came here for advice so I figured Id maybe ask about more than one situation. SORRY I DIDNT KNOW I COULD DO THAT! ITS ALSO PROBABLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR SOMEONE TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE EX!

Thanks for that link CS. I'll read up on it.
Quit stalking me. These two cases have absolutely nothing to do with each other, its a different woman. Thanks for asking though before you made an assumption and made an ass out of you an umption.
No need to FREAK OUT, Dude.

:rolleyes:
 

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