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  1. #16
    mommyof4 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clod View Post
    Is the non-custodial parent required to help pay for college?

    The Federal government does not consider the income and assets of the non-custodial parent in determining a student's financial need. However, it does consider child support received by the custodial parent.

    Many private colleges do consider the non-custodial parent as a potential source of support, and require a supplemental financial aid form from the non-custodial parent. This affects the awarding of the school's own aid, but not Federal and state aid.

    Whether divorced parents have a legal obligation to pay for their children's education depends on the state in which the divorce occurred. Several states have laws or case law that allow courts to order the non-custodial parent to help pay for college. These states include Alabama, Arizona, Colorado, Connecticut, District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, New Jersey, New York, North Dakota, Oregon, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Utah, Washington and West Virginia. States which prohibit the courts from ordering college support (except for enforcing a previous agreement between the parents) include Alaska, Nebraksa, and New Hampshire. (As of 2/2/2004, New Hampshire judges no longer have the discretion to order college support for adult children.)

    And that is correct IF there is a child support order. However, the OP says there is no order. His mother had 18 years to get a child support order established.

    In this case, Dad is not responsible for paying for education. Even if he was, that does not mean that the kid could say, "I'm going to Hillsdale. You owe _____". Junior needs to figure something else out. Less expensive school, alternative financing, JOB...many, many people have put themselves through college. If he is smart enough and qulified to be accepted to his school of choice, he is smart enough to realize that if wants it bad enough, he will work for it. "Nothing worth having is ever easy or free".
  2. #17
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clod View Post
    Is the non-custodial parent required to help pay for college?

    The Federal government does not consider the income and assets of the non-custodial parent in determining a student's financial need. However, it does consider child support received by the custodial parent.

    Many private colleges do consider the non-custodial parent as a potential source of support, and require a supplemental financial aid form from the non-custodial parent. This affects the awarding of the school's own aid, but not Federal and state aid.

    Whether divorced parents have a legal obligation to pay for their children's education depends on the state in which the divorce occurred. Several states have laws or case law that allow courts to order the non-custodial parent to help pay for college. These states include Alabama, Arizona, Colorado, Connecticut, District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, New Jersey, New York, North Dakota, Oregon, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Utah, Washington and West Virginia. States which prohibit the courts from ordering college support (except for enforcing a previous agreement between the parents) include Alaska, Nebraksa, and New Hampshire. (As of 2/2/2004, New Hampshire judges no longer have the discretion to order college support for adult children.)
    And that only holds if there is a court order decided at the time of the divorce or an agreement between the parents ratified by the court regarding college expenses. That is not this case.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  3. #18
    MrsK is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sdemers16 View Post
    There is no court order that states anything either way. Also, I did try to involve my father in the college process, but he just made fun of me for wanting to go to college. He refuses to be any part of it, and he even refused to submit the mandatory non-custodial parent's statement to the financial aid office. Because of this, my financial aid application is incomplete and I do not qualify for any financial aid.
    Even if this man isn't obligated to pay for a private university, can he be required to pay the amount that it would cost to attend a state university?
    No.

    Wow, you sure were brought up to be one greedy and entitlement-minded young person. Kudos

    Just why is it you think your parents (and just your FATHER no less ) should be forced to pay for your schooling? What makes you think you are so special?
  4. #19
    MrsK is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sdemers16 View Post
    Thanks for your personal opinion on whether or not a parent is obligated to pay. However, I am looking for LEGAL ADVICE on this matter. I have heard of many cases where non-custodial parents were required to help fund their children's college education. If anyone knows of any Massachusetts laws or previous cases, could you please let me know.

    And just so everyone knows, my mother would very much like to pay for college, she just doesn't have any money to do it with. My father has plenty of money, he just doesn't want to take care of his children. In fact, he doesn't even pay as much child support as he is supposed to, and I only talk to him about once a month because he is always jetting off on vacations, etc. So, it is not that I am shoving a college tuition bill at my parents. My mother has been very involved in the process and wants me to go. My father is the only one holding us back, and he just generally doesn't care about me or my well being.
    Maybe your father is just sick of your rotten attitude and doesnt like the idea of you DEMANDING he pay for your education.

    Time to get a job, sweetie. Get over it, because your dad doesnt have to give you one penny of HIS money once his support obligation is over.
  5. #20
    MrsK is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post

    Parents don't owe their children a college education unless there are court orders that say so, but at the same time parents who deny their children the opportunity to do it on their own are asswipes.
    Says who? Wherever did this attitude of "Parents should help their kids out after they are adults because kids are ENTITLED to the help" come from? There are SO MANY young adults who manage to work their way through college without the help of their parents, even kids whose parents have the money. I will, of course, help my kids out if and when I can (I have 4 kids, though, so the idea of me putting 4 kids through college completely without my kids help or financial aid, etc is slim to none) but if one of my kids (and I'm a CP) came to me with this "You need to give me money to go to college because you can afford it" attitude, I would be real quick to rescind that help. And I wouldnt feel bad about it, either.
  6. #21
    debtcollector` is offline Senior Member
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    My daughter said she wanted to go to Harvard. I am the NCP. I smiled and said, "Okay. If you can get in, I'll make sure you have the money you need for school." She didn't have the best of grades. Now she has a 4.0. Sigh. -- I see big checks going to Cambridge in the future.
  7. #22
    nextwife is offline Senior Member
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    My father was an attorney, Juris Doctorate...Even if he had not died young, he always made it clear that he felt working for his own college education had built character and had made him appreciate the money that was being spent for his education. Thus my sibs and I always knew that our parents were NOT planning on paying our way, and we all not only worked, but, unlike some peers, did not waste much of our college education. The peers whose parents just wrote checks ended up with kids who dropped classes, kept switching majors around and who never appreciated the work it took to PAY for the education.

    I was just listening to an expose on philanthropist/Millionaire Michael Cudahy, whose father owned Patrick Cudahy. His dad made him WORK to pay for his college. His dad did NOT leave his kids his fortune, he gave most away, because he felt that his kids would not develop their true potential if they were handed their future. Thus he did NOT inherit the business, and started his own business where he made his fortune, Marquette Electronics. He is now giving away to local projects, most of his fortune.

    I'm curious is the poster has been WORKING any jobs after school or summers, if he wants a pricey education?
  8. #23
    Silverplum is offline Senior Member
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    I wonder why OP's mother spent tons of $$$ on fancy boarding school, but saved nothing for college? Maybe it's just me, but I'd choose regular public high school AND college over just a fancy high school.

    Did Mom and OP think they could just force Dad to pay for college, now that Mom's money is (supposedly) all spent?

    Does Clod realize that the info in his post (thanks for trying, at least, Clod! ) only applied to court orders that were already in place before college/emancipation age? Do other new posters realize this?

    Does OP realize that court orders are between the Mom and Dad, and do not include him/her? Does OP know that Mom could file contempt for the unpaid back support s/he mentioned?

    Does OP know what a horrid beast s/he sounds like in these posts?!?
  9. #24
    SaffronTea is offline Junior Member
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    I read your post and I am SO SORRY for the responces you received

    I sugguest you DO go to a community college... not for education, but because they have programs where you can speak with a lawyer free of charge! Much more helpful than this forum.

    From what I know, if your father was ordered to pay child support by a judge and never did, your mom can go after him demanding it or they will throw him in jail! That would get you some money for a good college! And a Student Loan wouldn't hurt, either, if you can have someone co-sign for it.

    Good luck and warmest wishes.
  10. #25
    Silverplum is offline Senior Member
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    Ah, yes, the Wise and Amazing SaffronTea...the newbie who couldn't use the search function, who deleted her thread after receiving the correct legal answer no less than 8 times -- because she didn't like the answer, who knows nothing of family law...thank you for bestowing your Excellent Wisdom on this topic, of which you know nothing.
  11. #26
    sdemers16 is offline Junior Member
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    Just to give all of you an update--I DO work in the summer, but college costs a lot more than I can make working for just above minimum wage for a few months. I want to go to college so that I can study and become a doctor, help people and make a better life for myself, so that I don't spend the rest of my life working for minimum wage.

    More importantly, I have contacted two Massachusetts lawyers who have provided me with specific refrences to laws and previous cases that are quite similar to mine, where the non-custodial parent was required to help pay the cost of their child's education. They are both confident that I can get my father to contribute, even if he doesn't want me to get an education, and I plan to pursue this further.
  12. #27
    mommyof4 is offline Senior Member
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    Uh-huh. That's great and all, except for a few tiny, piddling issues.

    One, you said there is no court order. Therefore, LEGALLY, he is NOT required to pay anything. As you are an adult, a child support order will not be issued at this late date solely because you want to go to a school that is out of your financial budget. There is NOTHING wrong with a state school. As a matter of fact, unless you are in the "big boys' club" the name of the school on your diploma won't mean squat in the real world. You can also consider going to a less exclusive school for your undergrad and then applying for the med. school of your choice. I have a feeling that you want to go to this super duper school for bragging rights. Well, in the words of Mick Jagger..."You can't always get what you want."

    Two, YOU cannot file anything to force him to pay. Only your mother can. I find it very interesting that only NOW has your mother decided that your father should be held financially responsible. If she was so worried about it, she should have used a better budgeting system. Or, was the plan all along to hit dear old Dad up for the money? Now, I know where you learned your financial sense.

    Three, even if you could file (which, again, you can't) how would you pay the attorneys? That's right. They don't work for free and your father would not have to pay your legal fees because your case would be dismissed.

    You're a big boy now. Stop conducting yourself in the manner of a spoiled brat.
  13. #28
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsK View Post
    Says who? Wherever did this attitude of "Parents should help their kids out after they are adults because kids are ENTITLED to the help" come from? There are SO MANY young adults who manage to work their way through college without the help of their parents, even kids whose parents have the money. I will, of course, help my kids out if and when I can (I have 4 kids, though, so the idea of me putting 4 kids through college completely without my kids help or financial aid, etc is slim to none) but if one of my kids (and I'm a CP) came to me with this "You need to give me money to go to college because you can afford it" attitude, I would be real quick to rescind that help. And I wouldnt feel bad about it, either.
    Go back and re-read what you quoted....you completely misunderstood what I said.

    Until a child is 24, they CANNOT get financial aid, INCLUDING student loans, without providing their parent's financial information....with some few exceptions.

    Therefore, if one of the parents refuses to at LEAST cooperate with the financial aid process, the child CANNOT get student loans. Therefore, in my opinion that parent is an asswipe. I did NOT say that the parent was required to help financially...I only said that the parent was an asswipe if they refuse to cooperate with the financial aid process.

    My daughter doesn't need the cooperation of either of her parents in the financial aid process because she has a child of her own. That exempts her from being required to provide our information. It would be really sad for people to suddenly decide to get pregnant and have a child so that they could apply for financial aid and student loans without their parent's cooperation....sigh.

    I am not saying that this dad has to be financially responsible for college....I am saying that he is a jerk if he prevents his child from going at all until he/she is 24 because he won't cooperate with the financial aid process.
  14. #29
    GrowUp! is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by SaffronTea View Post
    I read your post and I am SO SORRY for the responces you received

    I sugguest you DO go to a community college... not for education, but because they have programs where you can speak with a lawyer free of charge! Much more helpful than this forum.
    And to quote the Great Stewie Griffin: I suggest you SHUT THE HELL UP!!

    From what I know, if your father was ordered to pay child support by a judge and never did, your mom can go after him demanding it or they will throw him in jail! That would get you some money for a good college!
    And from what I can tell, you're talking out of the same place you think: your backside.

    To quote Bugs Bunny: What a maroon!
  15. #30
    nextwife is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    Go back and re-read what you quoted....you completely misunderstood what I said.

    Until a child is 24, they CANNOT get financial aid, INCLUDING student loans, without providing their parent's financial information....with some few exceptions.

    Therefore, if one of the parents refuses to at LEAST cooperate with the financial aid process, the child CANNOT get student loans. Therefore, in my opinion that parent is an asswipe. I did NOT say that the parent was required to help financially...I only said that the parent was an asswipe if they refuse to cooperate with the financial aid process.

    My daughter doesn't need the cooperation of either of her parents in the financial aid process because she has a child of her own. That exempts her from being required to provide our information. It would be really sad for people to suddenly decide to get pregnant and have a child so that they could apply for financial aid and student loans without their parent's cooperation....sigh.

    I am not saying that this dad has to be financially responsible for college....I am saying that he is a jerk if he prevents his child from going at all until he/she is 24 because he won't cooperate with the financial aid process.
    Considering that at 18 a child is not a child, but a legal adult, and that there is no law that compels ANY married to each other parents to provide their financial information, nor to pay anything for college, the fault is the financial aid system. The financial wherewithall of a parent who is not planning on paying for their child's college, should be irrelevant. Married parents have no obligation to pay for college or to fill out financial aid forms, and until there is a legal requirement of them, there should not be a legal requirment of any other parent.

    Either the law DOES consider this an obligation of ALL parents, in which case that should be reflected in legislation, or it should be NOT an obligation. Children of divorce should not be entitled to some special status that makes parents who OTHERWISE WOULD NOT BE OBLIGATED to NOW have to pay for something they wouldn't have BEEN LEGALLY OBLIGATED to pay they had stayed together.


    So, if legislatures feel this SHOULD be the obligation of parents, fine, make all parents obligated, or none. And financial aid should only be asking for what the applicant, by law, has the right to obtain, or not penalize them for not having information they have no legal right to compel.

    AS to attending a State university or community college- my sib who has the Ivy League degree did exactly that. They did NOT start out at an Ivy League university, they attended the state university system, and they DID go on to get a fellowship and the big deal diploma from a certain New England university - without a penny from a parent.
    Last edited by nextwife; 03-09-2007 at 10:26 AM.

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