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Can I make my father pay for college?

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chario

Junior Member
LOOKING at the FAFSA site i found this

http://www.fafsa.com/toughestqs.htm#divorce
What if the Student's Parents are Divorced? Or Remarried?

If the student is dependent and his/her parents' are divorced or separated, include information for the custodial parent.

The custodial parent is defined as that parent with whom the student lived with the most the prior year. If the student lived with each parent the same amount of time, or lived with neither parent, the custodial parent is the one who provided the most financial support to the student. If neither parent supported the student financially, the student must pick one of their parents to use on the FAFSA as the custodial parent.

Even if the parents file a joint tax return in 2004 (for the 2005-06 school year) but are now separated or divorced, include only the custodial parent's information on the FAFSA application.

If the student's parents are divorced or separated, do not include the name or financial information for the noncustodial parent. If the custodial parent is remarried, the step-parent's financial information must be included (in addition to the custodial parent's information).




I think you need to rethink why all the sudden your mom will not have money to pay for a private education for you**************...IT IS because she will stop recieving the child support from your father once you are no longer a child so indeed he DID contribute and help your mother with that private education she "singlehandedly" handed you.

Also a lot more comes to honey than lemons....recent studies show that non custodial parents who contribute more to extra cirricular expenses and other priveledges beyond Child Support had consistent healthy relationships with their children. It is human nature to nurture but it is not human nature to blindly send money to entitled ungrateful people.

Now that you are adult or close, your bond with your dad is as much your responsibility as his and has NOTHING to do with your mother.

I felt like you for many years when I was younger and i blame no one but myself...this book helped me a lot
http://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Your-Father-Relationship-Always/dp/0071423036
 


MandyD

Member
Married parents have no obligation to pay for college or to fill out financial aid forms, and until there is a legal requirement of them, there should not be a legal requirment of any other parent.

.

I understood what Ldij was saying so I'm not going to argue that. However, this married couple still had to fill out all the financial aid forms for our daughter. It was a requirement of us also.
 

MrsK

Senior Member
Go back and re-read what you quoted....you completely misunderstood what I said.

Until a child is 24, they CANNOT get financial aid, INCLUDING student loans, without providing their parent's financial information....with some few exceptions.

Therefore, if one of the parents refuses to at LEAST cooperate with the financial aid process, the child CANNOT get student loans. Therefore, in my opinion that parent is an asswipe. I did NOT say that the parent was required to help financially...I only said that the parent was an asswipe if they refuse to cooperate with the financial aid process.

My daughter doesn't need the cooperation of either of her parents in the financial aid process because she has a child of her own. That exempts her from being required to provide our information. It would be really sad for people to suddenly decide to get pregnant and have a child so that they could apply for financial aid and student loans without their parent's cooperation....sigh.

I am not saying that this dad has to be financially responsible for college....I am saying that he is a jerk if he prevents his child from going at all until he/she is 24 because he won't cooperate with the financial aid process.

I am not an expert for student loans, but Chario posted this:

If the student's parents are divorced or separated, do not include the name or financial information for the noncustodial parent. If the custodial parent is remarried, the step-parent's financial information must be included (in addition to the custodial parent's information).

So is that really true? If so, looks like OP doesnt need dad's info to get financial aid or loans.
 

qurice

Member
This is from the FAFSA worksheet:

If your parents are divorced or separated, answer the questions about the parent you lived with more during the past 12 months. If you did not live with one parent more than the other, give answers about the parent who provided more financial support during the past 12 months, or during the most recent year that you actually received support from a parent. If this parent is remarried as of today, answer the questions about that parent and the person to whom your parent is married (your stepparent).
Looks like it goes on "household" income and he doesn't have to include dad's info. So if OPs mom is remarried, his ineligibility for Federal Aid is her fault! just kidding ;)
 

xylene

Senior Member
Relative to inflation -

College costs are way up (esp at private universities)

The minimum wage is down

Working ones way thru college might be the great american story - and I hate burst anyones hero cult bubble - but anyone who is in denial of the FACT that its happening less and less often is kidding themselves.

I guess its beacuse kids are just greedy and unmotivated. Not because it is totally unfeasable.
 

mommyof4

Senior Member
Relative to inflation -

College costs are way up (esp at private universities)

The minimum wage is down
Working ones way thru college might be the great american story - and I hate burst anyones hero cult bubble - but anyone who is in denial of the FACT that its happening less and less often is kidding themselves.

I guess its beacuse kids are just greedy and unmotivated. Not because it is totally unfeasable.

No, it is not. Last I checked, nobody lowered the minimum wage.

The issue is that the OP wants to go to a school that is out of his price range. That doesn't mean that anybody else has to pony up the cash so he can tell everybody that he goes to _____________. A state school or community college is perfectly fine until he can either qualify for FA himself, get a grant or schoarship, or save up enough money to pay for it himself. Or, based on the information posted for financial aid, he could stop trying to swindle Dad out of money and fill out the forms as they are supposed to be filled out.

The kid is a spoiled brat with an entitlement complex.
 

xylene

Senior Member
No, it is not. Last I checked, nobody lowered the minimum wage.
If you don't understand impact of inflation - well then your just like most americans. In total denial that a dollar today is worth LESS in the future and MORE in the past.

The rate of inflation has consistently outpaced the growth in the minimum wage and the avergae wage for entry level jobs. Those are facts - if you think thats good or not is up to your politics.

The issue is that the OP wants to go to a school that is out of his price range.
I thought hard work meant he could go to any school he liked :confused: Does this mean we have oligarchy in America. (We do)

That doesn't mean that anybody else has to pony up the cash so he can tell everybody that he goes to _____________. A state school or community college is perfectly fine until he can either qualify for FA himself, get a grant or schoarship, or save up enough money to pay for it himself. Or, based on the information posted for financial aid, he could stop trying to swindle Dad out of money and fill out the forms as they are supposed to be filled out.
Dad's a deadbeat. I could care less about his 'right' to not pay. We should subsidize his family thru taxpayer aid?

The kid is a spoiled brat with an entitlement complex.
Thats probably true, but it doesn't invalidate anything I said.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
From what I know, if your father was ordered to pay child support by a judge and never did, your mom can go after him demanding it or they will throw him in jail! That would get you some money for a good college!
Oh jeeze...

Let's pretend that you are correct in your assumptions...how is having the father thrown in jail going to get the mother loads of money? And, even if mom DOES, by some miracle, get tons of money from dad for back child support, there is nothing that obligates her to spend it on sonny's college! :eek:

Yes, I agree with the other poster - "what a maroon!"
 

mommyof4

Senior Member
If you don't understand impact of inflation - well then your just like most americans. In total denial that a dollar today is worth LESS in the future and MORE in the past.
Oh, I understand. I just responded to your incorrect statement. The minimum wage is not going down. Say what you mean, and mean what you say.

The rate of inflation has consistently outpaced the growth in the minimum wage and the avergae wage for entry level jobs. Those are facts - if you think thats good or not is up to your politics.



I thought hard work meant he could go to any school he liked :confused: Does this mean we have oligarchy in America.
No, we have reality. Hard work will get him where he wants to go, eventually, if he sticks with it and shows some gumption. That doesn't mean that he gets to walk into Princeton and demand that they allow him to attend and he will pay for it when he gets his doctorate. He doesn't have the luxury of instant gratification (as most people don't). If he can't muster up the guts to work hard for what he wants, how does he think he will ever make it through med school?





Dad's a deadbeat. I could care less about his 'right' to not pay. We should subsidize his family thru taxpayer aid?



Thats probably true, but it doesn't invalidate anything I said
.
Mom bears no responsibility for wasting the money and then sending the spoiled brat she raised to hit dad up for more? Mom bears no responsibility for not filing for child support sometime in the past however many years? Dad is not a LEGAL deadbeat if there is no legal obligation to pay.

Now, welcome to the reality of economics. He doesn't have the money. Mom was a lousy financial planner. Her sole plan was to rely on Dad after years of no contact for money. Oh yeah, I would be really quick to get my checkbook.

The OP also lied. He said that he NEEDED Dad's financial information to apply for financial aid. He doesn't. He never did. He just thinks that he can make Dad pay and, failing that, hold him out as the reason that all of his dreams were ruined.
 

mommyof4

Senior Member
Please subit proof that the mimimum wage has not decline relative to inflation then. :rolleyes:
That's not what you said.

You said, and I quote, "The minimum wage is down". Please show me legislation that has lowered the minimum wage.:)

Furtheremore, if you read the post in the oder I responded to you, you will see that I was replying to your exasperation that not everybody can afford the college of their choice. You specifically asked is this an oligarchy. I said, no this is reality. The reality of the OP's economic situation (and everybody else's) is that if he can't afford it, he can't afford it. No matter who he thinks should be held accountable for his support (even though he is an adult and there is no legal pressure he can bring to bear) his reality is working his way through schoo, filling out the financial aid papers with the information required, going to a less expensive (and thus, in his mind, a less prestigious) school, getting a grant or scholarship, or sitting out until he can afford his own tuition. That IS reality.

If you want to have this debate about economics, take it to the appropriate forum and stop trying to hijack a thread just to hear yourself emote.
 
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xylene

Senior Member
If you want to have this debate about economics, take it to the appropriate forum and stop trying to hijack a thread just to hear yourself emote.
Hey - I presented FACTS in opposition to a number of repondents who were suggesting that this guy should 'just' work his way thru college and that his expectation that his DEADBEAT DAD should pay for school was some kind of ultimate filial ingratitude.

Lastly

Relative to inflation -

College costs are way up (esp at private universities)

The minimum wage is down
I do not understand how you can take my words out of context and think it proves anything except that you are not good at reading. THE WHOLE POINT WAS ABOUT INFLATION - THATS WHY IT IS BOLDED, ITALICIZED, and UNDERLINED. Here and in my original post. Unedited.

Is it likely this guy has ANY legal recourse? Slim to NONE. Changes nothing about the FACT that in todays America it is just not a realistic prospect for an independant student to fund college by working while enrolled. Hasn't been for at least a decade - even for most state schools. To even suggest it is more naive than the original poster.
 

mommyof4

Senior Member
Uh-huh. Now tell that to all of those that are currently working their way through school. It comes down to will and guts. If a person ain't got em, that's nobody's problem but his own.;)
 

fairisfair

Senior Member
That's not what you said.

You said, and I quote, "The minimum wage is down". Please show me legislation that has lowered the minimum wage.:)

Furtheremore, if you read the post in the oder I responded to you, you will see that I was replying to your exasperation that not everybody can afford the college of their choice. You specifically asked is this an oligarchy. I said, no this is reality. The reality of the OP's economic situation (and everybody else's) is that if he can't afford it, he can't afford it. No matter who he thinks should be held accountable for his support (even though he is an adult and there is no legal pressure he can bring to bear) his reality is working his way through schoo, filling out the financial aid papers with the information required, going to a less expensive (and thus, in his mind, a less prestigious) school, getting a grant or scholarship, or sitting out until he can afford his own tuition. That IS reality.

If you want to have this debate about economics, take it to the appropriate forum and stop trying to hijack a thread just to hear yourself emote.
um no offense, but he isn't arguing with himself. And we have a habit of allowing everyone to express their opinions here. Fairisfair.
 

Rushia

Senior Member
Uh-huh. Now tell that to all of those that are currently working their way through school. It comes down to will and guts. If a person ain't got em, that's nobody's problem but his own.;)
I agree. My DH is (almost) 32. He goes to school as soon as he gets the kids on the bus in the am (while I am at work), then he comes home for a few minutes, goes to work fulll time on second shift. He then comes home, does his homework, gets up to do it all over again!
 
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