Can my ex reduce support and go back to lower past due child support?

[alsgal2u]

What is the name of your state? Tennessee
In the initial decree, my ex had to pay 130. per wk. After one yr. he agreed to pay 155. per wk. due to wage increases and to avoid paying attorney fees for both of us . STUPID ME! We did not file it with the court system, now that he is over 2000. in arrearage, the state will not go after this arrearage, because they say he is not in arrearage because the order is for 130. per wk. only. They will however garnish his wages for 130. per week. Also, the order stated he had to provide medical insurance or pay me for what I had to pay for insurance with my job. He was also to pay for half of all medical bills and half for all extra curricular activities. Yeah right! I have gotten maybe 100. over the past eight years... Anyway, he is now mad that they are garnishing his wages and he says he will go to court to have his child support reduced and he never got to claim either child on taxes, so he will go back and get reimbursed for that. The divorce decree did not state that he could claim one of the children at any point. Also, he does not get the children every other weekend, or the three weeks he should have them for vacation. In fact, for the past two yrs. he has had them overnight 7 times at the very most! Is he crazy or am I to think he can actually be relieved of the nearly 2000.00 he is now in arrearage? Will I need to hire an attorney to get this arrearage, since the state shows he is actually not in arrearage?

 

[BL]

What is the name of your state? Tennessee
In the initial decree, my ex had to pay 130. per wk. After one yr. he agreed to pay 155. per wk. due to wage increases and to avoid paying attorney fees for both of us . STUPID ME! We did not file it with the court system, now that he is over 2000. in arrearage, the state will not go after this arrearage, because they say he is not in arrearage because the order is for 130. per wk. only. They will however garnish his wages for 130. per week. Also, the order stated he had to provide medical insurance or pay me for what I had to pay for insurance with my job. He was also to pay for half of all medical bills and half for all extra curricular activities. Yeah right! I have gotten maybe 100. over the past eight years... Anyway, he is now mad that they are garnishing his wages and he says he will go to court to have his child support reduced and he never got to claim either child on taxes, so he will go back and get reimbursed for that. The divorce decree did not state that he could claim one of the children at any point. Also, he does not get the children every other weekend, or the three weeks he should have them for vacation. In fact, for the past two yrs. he has had them overnight 7 times at the very most! Is he crazy or am I to think he can actually be relieved of the nearly 2000.00 he is now in arrearage? Will I need to hire an attorney to get this arrearage, since the state shows he is actually not in arrearage?

He is not $2000.00 in arrears .

Court orders rule , do the math . 100 per month x 12 = 1200 ( not in arrears ) , not 2000.

As far as repayment on medical , etc . , perhaps someone more knowledgeable will be along to provide advice on that . As a matter of fact put that $1200.00 towards the medical .

 

[Perky]

What is the name of your state? Tennessee
In the initial decree, my ex had to pay 130. per wk. After one yr. he agreed to pay 155. per wk. due to wage increases and to avoid paying attorney fees for both of us . STUPID ME! We did not file it with the court system, now that he is over 2000. in arrearage, the state will not go after this arrearage, because they say he is not in arrearage because the order is for 130. per wk. only. They will however garnish his wages for 130. per week. Also, the order stated he had to provide medical insurance or pay me for what I had to pay for insurance with my job. He was also to pay for half of all medical bills and half for all extra curricular activities. Yeah right! I have gotten maybe 100. over the past eight years... Anyway, he is now mad that they are garnishing his wages and he says he will go to court to have his child support reduced and he never got to claim either child on taxes, so he will go back and get reimbursed for that. The divorce decree did not state that he could claim one of the children at any point. Also, he does not get the children every other weekend, or the three weeks he should have them for vacation. In fact, for the past two yrs. he has had them overnight 7 times at the very most! Is he crazy or am I to think he can actually be relieved of the nearly 2000.00 he is now in arrearage? Will I need to hire an attorney to get this arrearage, since the state shows he is actually not in arrearage?

Are you basing the arrearage amount on the $25 per week that was not court ordered? If so, I don't believe you will be able to retrieve the money since it wasn't filed with the court. However, you should be able to get the medical/insurance expenses reimbursed. You will have to go to court for that. His lack of visitation is not a factor, unless your support was adjusted for the time the children spend with him.

I'm not a lawyer, so if I'm wrong one of the seniors will correct me. The seniors can also advise you as to whether or not you can file yourself or if you need an attorney. Stay tuned!

 

[NSA4answers]

What is the name of your state? Tennessee
In the initial decree, my ex had to pay 130. per wk. After one yr. he agreed to pay 155. per wk. due to wage increases and to avoid paying attorney fees for both of us . STUPID ME! We did not file it with the court system, now that he is over 2000. in arrearage, the state will not go after this arrearage, because they say he is not in arrearage because the order is for 130. per wk. only. They will however garnish his wages for 130. per week. Also, the order stated he had to provide medical insurance or pay me for what I had to pay for insurance with my job. He was also to pay for half of all medical bills and half for all extra curricular activities. Yeah right! I have gotten maybe 100. over the past eight years... Anyway, he is now mad that they are garnishing his wages and he says he will go to court to have his child support reduced and he never got to claim either child on taxes, so he will go back and get reimbursed for that. The divorce decree did not state that he could claim one of the children at any point. Also, he does not get the children every other weekend, or the three weeks he should have them for vacation. In fact, for the past two yrs. he has had them overnight 7 times at the very most! Is he crazy or am I to think he can actually be relieved of the nearly 2000.00 he is now in arrearage? Will I need to hire an attorney to get this arrearage, since the state shows he is actually not in arrearage?

If this was a verbal or even written agreement between you and dad and it was never made an order, then he is not in arrears for child support. Hiring an attorney would be a waste of your money because there is not anything an attorney can do about it. Your ex was ordered to pay child support in the amount of $130/week and it sounds as though he has done so.

 

[NSA4answers]

He is not $2000.00 in arrears .

Court orders rule , do the math . 100 per month x 12 = 1200 ( not in arrears ) , not 2000.

As far as repayment on medical , etc . , perhaps someone more knowledgeable will be along to provide advice on that . As a matter of fact put that $1200.00 towards the medical .

Just curious, where'd you get your numbers? She doesn't mention anything about 100/month.

 

[BL]

Just curious, where'd you get your numbers? She doesn't mention anything about 100/month.

In the initial decree, my ex had to pay 130. per wk. After one yr. he agreed to pay 155. per wk

Ok , some months have more than 4 wks. , that she can apply to medical .

 

[CourtClerk]

I'm wondering if the OP has ever SUBMITTED the bills to the NCP for payment and what happened once she did. She may have forfeited that money if she just sat on the bills and took no action.

As BL has already indicated, the extra money you two may have mutually agreed upon is gone. The only way to change a court order is with another court order. Nothing more, nothing less.

He'll deny he came to that agreement, and if his attorney was smart, he'd say that any additional he DID pay was toward those medical payments...

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Tennessee
In the initial decree, my ex had to pay 130. per wk. After one yr. he agreed to pay 155. per wk. due to wage increases and to avoid paying attorney fees for both of us . STUPID ME! We did not file it with the court system, now that he is over 2000. in arrearage, the state will not go after this arrearage, because they say he is not in arrearage because the order is for 130. per wk. only. They will however garnish his wages for 130. per week. Also, the order stated he had to provide medical insurance or pay me for what I had to pay for insurance with my job. He was also to pay for half of all medical bills and half for all extra curricular activities. Yeah right! I have gotten maybe 100. over the past eight years... Anyway, he is now mad that they are garnishing his wages and he says he will go to court to have his child support reduced and he never got to claim either child on taxes, so he will go back and get reimbursed for that. The divorce decree did not state that he could claim one of the children at any point. Also, he does not get the children every other weekend, or the three weeks he should have them for vacation. In fact, for the past two yrs. he has had them overnight 7 times at the very most! Is he crazy or am I to think he can actually be relieved of the nearly 2000.00 he is now in arrearage? Will I need to hire an attorney to get this arrearage, since the state shows he is actually not in arrearage?

I am only going to address the tax exemption issue since I think that everyone else has already addressed the other issues.

He CANNOT get the court to reduce his ordered arrearages or child support based on the fact that he never got the tax exemption for the children because that was never court ordered.

There is also no chance that his child support will be reduced at all, unless his wages have been involuntarily reduced since the offical order was made.

 

[qurice]

He CANNOT get the court to reduce his ordered arrearages or child support based on the fact that he never got the tax exemption for the children because that was never court ordered.

There is also no chance that his child support will be reduced at all, unless his wages have been involuntarily reduced since the offical order was made.

While this is true, based on what OP posted, there is no ordered arrearage. OP states he is being garnished for the amount ordered.

If OP goes to court saying, "he's been paying me $155/wk instead of the $130/wk" can't the court just count that extra towards the medical/extracurriculars that she states he owes?

 

[alsgal2u]

In answer to the medical bills being presented question, yes, my ex is aware of every time I have had to take our children to the doctor, have MRI's on bum knees due to sports, ruptured disc due to a trampoline, etc. Whenever I tell him the amount of bills and that he owes me for half, his standard reply is "you can't get blood out of a turnip." I could give him copies of the bills, but all he has to say is he never got them. I just gave up and paid them to avoid a battle and it would have cost more in attorney and court fee's to get my half of expenses anyway. The same applies for extracurriculars such as 300. sports camps, uniforms, physicals, etc. He stated that I wanted the girls to play these sports and he therefore did not have to pay his half.

I thank you for the answer to my question concerning him getting his support reduced. He has had 6 jobs in eight years and has taken lesser jobs each time and he has done this voluntarily. I thought the court set support initially on what your potential earnings could be, not the jobs you take which are lesser paying. Correct me if I have misunderstood your post please.

It sounds as if I can just say adios to the 2150.00 arrearage he owes. If he agreed to pay the extra 25. per week for the past seven years and you figure 12 mo. times $25. times seven, then you get 2100.00 and it would be a waste of time and money to fight for the 50.00 difference... I learned a valuable lesson and that is what I get for being a softie.

Any other comments would be appreciated, as long as no one calls me an idiot!

 

[CourtClerk]

In answer to the medical bills being presented question, yes, my ex is aware of every time I have had to take our children to the doctor, have MRI's on bum knees due to sports, ruptured disc due to a trampoline, etc.

That's not what I asked. I said... did you PRESENT him with the bills. See how people mince words. That has nothing to do with how many times the child had to go to the doctor.

Whenever I tell him the amount of bills and that he owes me for half, his standard reply is "you can't get blood out of a turnip."

Telling him about the bills is not sufficient in any state in the union to my knowledge. PROOF is what is required. Sending him a copy of the bills with a request for payment as per the court order. Sounds like you didn't do that.

I could give him copies of the bills, but all he has to say is he never got them.

Kind of hard to say he didn't get them with a UPS receipt or a return receipt with his signature now wouldn't it?

I just gave up and paid them to avoid a battle and it would have cost more in attorney and court fee's to get my half of expenses anyway.

Then don't ask for them now.

The same applies for extracurriculars such as 300. sports camps, uniforms, physicals, etc. He stated that I wanted the girls to play these sports and he therefore did not have to pay his half.

If the court order didn't SPECIFICALLY address the extra curriculars, I wouldn't expect him to pay them. He is correct, it was your choice, then it is your bill.

It sounds as if I can just say adios to the 2150.00 arrearage he owes.

One more time he doesn't owe you any arrearage. He paid the court ordered amount, that's all he's obligated to pay. Your "agreement" is worth the paper it was written on.

 

[Perky]

I don't want to make you feel any worse, but just emphasize the importance of making all agreements legal. Also, the math on this thread has been flyin' fast and loose!

If he agreed to pay $25 per week then that's $25 x 52 weeks/year x 7 years=$9100 that you might have collected if you had filed the agreement with the court.