Child of Affair

[Krmoody0910]

Arkansas
My fiancee had an affair. I found out and we split for three months or so. They dated for a time in that period but he left her. We ended up working things out. Turns out, the girl got pregnant. I knew this when I agreed to let him come home. At the time, we did not know for certain who the father was and neither did she. The NIPT test she had done shows him as the father, but both lawyers looked at it as if they'd never seen anything like it before. It was also a copy and notarised from a state up north. We have suspicions its fake... At this point, I know we would have to file a petition for a DNA test. The fact remains that the baby could be his. It's just so ungodly expensive and unmarried father's have little to no rights in these cases... She has refused absolutely all contact. Did not tell us the baby was born, two months early, at that. He is now 4 months old with zero contact to him or the mother despite our efforts... He was two months before we discovered he was born. that's the backstory. My questions are (if this child is, in fact, his):
If or when she goes for child support, does he pay from that day forward or from day one? Does her unwillingness to support a paternal relationship affect the outcome? Could he face jail time if we don't have the lumpsum? Is there a statute of limitations to protect us?

 

[Silverplum]

Arkansas
My fiancee had an affair. I found out and we split for three months or so. They dated for a time in that period but he left her. We ended up working things out. Turns out, the girl got pregnant. I knew this when I agreed to let him come home. At the time, we did not know for certain who the father was and neither did she. The NIPT test she had done shows him as the father, but both lawyers looked at it as if they'd never seen anything like it before. It was also a copy and notarised from a state up north. We have suspicions its fake... At this point, I know we would have to file a petition for a DNA test. The fact remains that the baby could be his. It's just so ungodly expensive and unmarried father's have little to no rights in these cases... She has refused absolutely all contact. Did not tell us the baby was born, two months early, at that. He is now 4 months old with zero contact to him or the mother despite our efforts... He was two months before we discovered he was born. that's the backstory. My questions are (if this child is, in fact, his):
If or when she goes for child support, does he pay from that day forward or from day one? Does her unwillingness to support a paternal relationship affect the outcome? Could he face jail time if we don't have the lumpsum? Is there a statute of limitations to protect us?

Tell DAD we're here 24/7 and are willing to help him with his questions. Thanks!

 

[Zigner]

Arkansas
My fiancee had an affair. I found out and we split for three months or so. They dated for a time in that period but he left her. We ended up working things out. Turns out, the girl got pregnant. I knew this when I agreed to let him come home. At the time, we did not know for certain who the father was and neither did she. The NIPT test she had done shows him as the father, but both lawyers looked at it as if they'd never seen anything like it before. It was also a copy and notarised from a state up north. We have suspicions its fake... At this point, I know we would have to file a petition for a DNA test. The fact remains that the baby could be his. It's just so ungodly expensive and unmarried father's have little to no rights in these cases... She has refused absolutely all contact. Did not tell us the baby was born, two months early, at that. He is now 4 months old with zero contact to him or the mother despite our efforts... He was two months before we discovered he was born. that's the backstory. My questions are (if this child is, in fact, his):
If or when she goes for child support, does he pay from that day forward or from day one? Does her unwillingness to support a paternal relationship affect the outcome? Could he face jail time if we don't have the lumpsum? Is there a statute of limitations to protect us?

This really, really, is none of your business. You are all up in it, but you need to back off. Really.

 

[Ohiogal]

Arkansas
My fiancee had an affair. I found out and we split for three months or so. They dated for a time in that period but he left her. We ended up working things out. Turns out, the girl got pregnant. I knew this when I agreed to let him come home. At the time, we did not know for certain who the father was and neither did she. The NIPT test she had done shows him as the father, but both lawyers looked at it as if they'd never seen anything like it before. It was also a copy and notarised from a state up north. We have suspicions its fake...

NIPT? Your suspicions matter not.

At this point, I know we would have to file a petition for a DNA test.

You can't petition for squat.

The fact remains that the baby could be his. It's just so ungodly expensive and unmarried father's have little to no rights in these cases...

babies are expensive. Fact of life. Unmarried fathers have lots of rights if they decide to attempt to enforce them.

She has refused absolutely all contact

She doesn't have to allow ANY contact. Dad can petition the court for a paternity test, custody and visitation and support.

. Did not tell us the baby was born, two months early, at that. He is now 4 months old with zero contact to him or the mother despite our efforts...

YOU don't have a right to know anything. YOU have no rights to have any contact. YOU have no dog in this fight. Your lover/boyfriend can go to court in the local county in which mom lives in order to try to establish paternity and HIS rights.

He was two months before we discovered he was born. that's the backstory. My questions are (if this child is, in fact, his):
If or when she goes for child support, does he pay from that day forward or from day one?

He could pay back to birth.

Does her unwillingness to support a paternal relationship affect the outcome? Could he face jail time if we don't have the lumpsum? Is there a statute of limitations to protect us?

You don't need protection but if you don't back off you may find yourself with a restraining order prohibiting you from being around the baby. You don't have to pay child support nor do you have to have a lump sum.

 

[Proserpina]

Sorry guys, but I gotta.

Arkansas
My fiancee had an affair. I found out and we split for three months or so. They dated for a time in that period but he left her. We ended up working things out. Turns out, the girl got pregnant. I knew this when I agreed to let him come home. At the time, we did not know for certain who the father was and neither did she. The NIPT test she had done shows him as the father, but both lawyers looked at it as if they'd never seen anything like it before. It was also a copy and notarised from a state up north. We have suspicions its fake... At this point, I know we would have to file a petition for a DNA test.

I have to ask. How did this NIPT come about? And ... both lawyers? He has one and she has one? Why are you here?

The fact remains that the baby could be his. It's just so ungodly expensive and unmarried father's have little to no rights in these cases...

Children are expensive and men absolutely have rights - they can choose to be married to the woman he thinks is great Mama material instead of thinking with his lower head.

She has refused absolutely all contact.

I don't blame her. She owes him, and certainly you, nothing.

Did not tell us the baby was born, two months early, at that. He is now 4 months old with zero contact to him or the mother despite our efforts... He was two months before we discovered he was born. that's the backstory. My questions are (if this child is, in fact, his):

And what efforts did Maybe Daddy make to follow up? None, right?

If or when she goes for child support, does he pay from that day forward or from day one?

It can go from birth.

Does her unwillingness to support a paternal relationship affect the outcome?

Does his unwillingness to support the mother of his child affect the outcome?

See how that works?

(The answer is "no", by the way: neither of them owe the other a darned thing until a court says otherwise)

Could he face jail time if we don't have the lumpsum?

Extremely unlikely. If he's smart though, he'll put some money aside pending the outcome of the paternity test (which he'll be paying for, if he files). If the child isn't his, you guys get to pay for more couples therapy

Is there a statute of limitations to protect us?

Protect from ... what? In the state of Arkansas, paternity can be established at any point up to the age of the child reaching majority and I believe 5 years after that. Child support can be made retroactive, but only to birth if the action is brought within a couple of years after the child is born.

Now some common sense advice for you personally.

You have a decision to make. Your fiancee is a cheat and I'm guessing the only reason he stopped this time was because he couldn't hide it from you for long. People can change, sure - but they don't change overnight. If you decide to stay with him, and end up having a child with him, yours will always come second as far as finances are concerned. So if you split, your bite of the child support apple will be considerably less than Mama #1's portion.

Don't even bother to ask about custody of the first child - I guarantee that any "she's really trashy" tales spun to you will only ever be half-truths at best, and even without a court order Mom already has status quo on her side meaning that it will take considerable effort for Dad to get primary custody.

Think carefully. To many, a one-off affair is not a deal-breaker. But if he's stupid enough to not keep it wrapped up... that can change the game considerably.