Child Custody/GAL Concerns

[Zigner]

I never texted the GAL. I emailed her screenshots of the conversation me and my ex had and the inappropriate things she said.

I thought it was hours, days, overnights. I did not know there was a difference.

That's what I'm here to make sure of, I don't want to go to court and start saying bad things about the GAL. But her perception and allegations are completely wrong and unfair to me.

I don't see why my mother living with me, or me residing with her, the way she put it, is in anyway an issue.
Not getting any feedback or response on her recording exchanges or nothing done about the inappropriate texts my ex sent me, I don't think was right. Nothing my ex did was mentioned on the motion, everything she thought I did the way she perceived it was written.

I was trying to avoid having to go through court for everyone's sake and come up with a compromise.

What does recording exchanges or sending you texts have to do with the welfare of the child?

 

[rohan21]

At first, I don't think it's legal to do it. If a child notices that another parent is recorded exchanges, I don't think that's good or something he should be seeing. Inappropriate text messages as the GAL brought up in my instance, makes it harder for us to communicate which can result in his welfare.

 

[Ladyback1]

Ever since he was six months old, he has cried every time when we've had exchanges because he wanted to spend more time with me. I brought this up in an email once where I said that he didn't like going back to his mom. This was deemed highly inappropriate by the GAL. All I was trying to do was tell her how he felt. She never proceeded to come to any exchanges to see this herself and now is bringing this one instance in court.

Due to multiple instances where she favored the mom, during one of the meetings I told her that it seemed to me that as a male, I wasn't being treated equally. This was also added in the motion.

Seriously? You knew at 6 mo. what your child was thinking? Your child could actually tell you "I don't like going back to mom"?
What a presumptuous little man you are!

Perhaps the GAL is "favoring" mom because those decisions are in the best interest of the child!

While, I am sure that you believe that your son is crying at exchanges because he wants to stay....he could be tired, he could not be feeling well, he could be hungry/thirsty. Don't automatically assume that just because a child cries at the exchanges it means that the child doesn't like the other parent or doesn't want to go to the other parent.

Don't assume that if something doesn't go your way it's because your a male. It could be because what you want is NOT in the best interest of the child.
And even if you assumption is correct about him not wanting to go to Mom after a visit with you--it was poor form to mention it. Mentioning it just incited more anger and discontent!

I think you are probably use to getting whatever you want, and it's not happening now and your having yourself a little temper tantrum.

 

[LdiJ]

It's every Thursday, Friday amd Saturday night. I gave her either the recommendation of me getting a 4th night, or getting an extra day and spend some time with him from 9-3 p.m. for example. What I told her was we needed to have a 50/50 plan or close to it.

You already have close to a 50/50 plan. You have 3 nights a week she has 4. You will NOT get a 4th night a week unless the GAL determines that its in the child's best interest to change primary custody.

The GAL is unlikely to piecemeal out parenting time in terms of hours. Its simply unlikely to happen, no matter what GAL you might have.

 

[rohan21]

I'm looking for advice, not here to have a temper tantrum. That's not the case. I was giving my side of the story to what I know happened. I started getting him after he was six months old since that's how long it took me to get a court date because she didn't put my name on the birth certificate. The reason I said that were instances where she came to pick him up and he hid behind the couch when she came when she saw her. At McDonald's on multiple occasions when he wouldnt let me go. During times when he couldn't talk but stick to me crying when exchanges happened. I'm not here to prove myself because I know the things I've seen and how he feels. My only questions were on what to say and do in court, how to get more time and the GAL concerns.

 

[rohan21]

Thank you. That helps. Any suggestions on how I should handle this in court?

 

[I'mTheFather]

I'm a little unclear about these allegations the GAL made. From what I can tell, the allegations are 1) that you neglected to provide an insurance card to the mother, and 2) you made an inappropriate statement regarding the child not wanting to go with his mother. Is that correct? Is that all?


Also, what's so important about having exactly 50% of the parenting time?

 

[TheGeekess]

I'm a little unclear about these allegations the GAL made. From what I can tell, the allegations are 1) that you neglected to provide an insurance card to the mother, and 2) you made an inappropriate statement regarding the child not wanting to go with his mother. Is that correct? Is that all?


Also, what's so important about having exactly 50% of the parenting time?

He posted the same post in two sections, Child Support and the Custody/Visitation forum. Someone's Freudian slip is showing.

 

[rohan21]

Lol I posted it on the child support section at first so I thought reposting it on the other one would've been better.

 

[Silverplum]

I started getting him after he was six months old since that's how long it took me to get a court date because she didn't put my name on the birth certificate.

That's what happens, legally, when people have children out of wedlock.

It's remarkable how much time you now have with your child. Don't blow it.

 

[rohan21]

Point is not to blow it lol. I've had to fight to get what I have now. That's why I'm on this wonderful site to make sure that doesn't happen and I don't screw up in court.

 

[TheGeekess]

Lol I posted it on the child support section at first so I thought reposting it on the other one would've been better.

Indeed.

 

[rohan21]

The things the GAL did and the actions she didn't take to me makes me feel that she favors the mother. I'm not looking at eventually as a number, and a parenting plan for everyone is different. But If there isn't something there as a percentage, I'm afraid things with how much I get him will get worse. Her actions with what she told me and deeming it was highly inappropriate and putting that in a motion to make me look bad but not mentioning anything that she's done and not putting anything in the motion for her which is the same example adds to my beliefs.

 

[rohan21]

We both were paying for his insurance seperately to the same provider so I said to her that there was no point in it. I don't get any credit or help with child support paying for insurance and could've easily had her pay her own. Her allegations were that I never provided her with the card when I have given her copies and called BCBS to send her the original.

 

[CJane]

What you're not understanding is that it's not the GAL's job to be impartial. It's the GAL's job to attempt to determine what's in the best interests of the child. And ultimately, that means choosing which parent is most likely to see to the child's best interests and foster a relationship with the other parent.

"Siding" with Mom isn't unethical bias, it's seeing that Mom is doing something right. You're not going to get hte GAL removed, or her recommendations thrown out because it seems like she "favors" Mom. And, before you start in on "Of course, because the Courts hate men"... the reverse is also true.

You're trying to gain primary custody, regardless of how you phrase it. And that's a HUGE burden.