Child Support for 18 year old, still in school....

[LadyKal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia

My husband is paying child support for his 18 year old daughter, directly to the mother.
Meanwhile, his daughter has no heat in her home, no tv, no hot water and keeps asking for more money for gas and food, because her Mother says the money is gone.
She is showering, sleeping and eating at a friends house who has given her a key so she can get in .. to shower and eat etc. She is "visiting" her mother, to make sure that her Mom is ok...

What I want to know is... Does my husband have to pay the mother child support? or can the child support be paid directly to the child since she is now 18? She is not being cared for ... before she turned 18 she was eating and showering at our house due to not having running water in the house. Now, no heat?
What can be done??

Thanks so much for any help/advice you can give....

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia

My husband is paying child support for his 18 year old daughter, directly to the mother.
Meanwhile, his daughter has no heat in her home, no tv, no hot water and keeps asking for more money for gas and food, because her Mother says the money is gone.
She is showering, sleeping and eating at a friends house who has given her a key so she can get in .. to shower and eat etc. She is "visiting" her mother, to make sure that her Mom is ok...

What I want to know is... Does my husband have to pay the mother child support? or can the child support be paid directly to the child since she is now 18? She is not being cared for ... before she turned 18 she was eating and showering at our house due to not having running water in the house. Now, no heat?
What can be done??

Thanks so much for any help/advice you can give....

If he is not court ordered to pay child support to his daughter, then no.

My advice to you is to let your husband deal with his own legal problems.

 

[LadyKal]

Then the next question would be.. is a divorce decree a court order?

And about "his legal problems" I married him.. so they are "our legal problems"
When it comes down to retaining and paying for a lawyer in this case..
I am the one who will be paying for it... so.. it involves me.

I am trying to find out all I can, prior to walking into an office and saying.. lets make this happen.

 

[Silverplum]

Then the next question would be.. is a divorce decree a court order?

Yes.

And about "his legal problems" I married him.. so they are "our legal problems"
When it comes down to retaining and paying for a lawyer in this case..
I am the one who will be paying for it... so.. it involves me.

No, it doesn't, legally.

Read the sticky at the top of the custody forum.

I am trying to find out all I can, prior to walking into an office and saying.. lets make this happen.

There is no "us" in this, as in "let us make this happen."

The attorney will tell you the same.

 

[LadyKal]

I don't know how to "quote" sorry...

Thanks Silverplum... I understand what you are saying and I understand..the whole legally not my problem..

But we all know that even if it isn't "legally" my problem, as a Mom, knowing that my husbands daughter is without heat, the ability to cook or shower... having to go elsewhere to do these things.. how can one sit back and do nothing.. not ask questions to help her?

I know it's none of my business what her mom is doing with her money, but heat, the ability to cook, shower..... kind of important factors when "caring" for a child... know what I mean?

 

[Proserpina]

I don't know how to "quote" sorry...

Thanks Silverplum... I understand what you are saying and I understand..the whole legally not my problem..

But we all know that even if it isn't "legally" my problem, as a Mom, knowing that my husbands daughter is without heat, the ability to cook or shower... having to go elsewhere to do these things.. how can one sit back and do nothing.. not ask questions to help her?

I know it's none of my business what her mom is doing with her money, but heat, the ability to cook, shower..... kind of important factors when "caring" for a child... know what I mean?

Important enough for your husband NOT to have done anything to rescue his daughter?

Or is it about the money?

 

[RRevak]

To second Pro, what is your husband doing to help his daughter out? (besides gripe about sending her mom money..)

 

[LadyKal]

He told his daughter to come stay with us...
she says she can't leave her Mom...afraid of what her mother will do if she leaves

He also told her that she is 18 now she doesn't have to live under her mothers roof.. that she can move out and live with room mates.. that he will pay the child support directly to her... and still help her the way he is.. with gas.. and extra money if she needs it..
she says the same thing, if she moves out... she is afraid of what her mom will do when she leaves...

The money.. is only an issue, because she has no heat... no way to cook... and no way to shower..
There is no issue in paying the support... there is no issue in giving her extra money.. the issue is.. she has no heat... no way to shower.. and no way to cook food

 

[LadyKal]

Asking about...can the money be paid directly to the daughter..is so the daughter can pay the bills herself.. to get the gas back on in the house and have heat, hot water, and the ability to cook.

Afraid that next..will be no electricity..

His daughter says, "you cant force me to move, just write the check to me and I will take care of the house"

Which is why..the question is being asked

 

[stealth2]

She is showering, sleeping and eating at a friends house who has given her a key so she can get in .. to shower and eat etc. She is "visiting" her mother, to make sure that her Mom is ok...

He told his daughter to come stay with us...
she says she can't leave her Mom...afraid of what her mother will do if she leaves

He also told her that she is 18 now she doesn't have to live under her mothers roof.. that she can move out and live with room mates.. that he will pay the child support directly to her... and still help her the way he is.. with gas.. and extra money if she needs it..
she says the same thing, if she moves out... she is afraid of what her mom will do when she leaves...

Does Dad want to buy some oceanfront property in Arizona? 'Cause I think that's what daughter is trying to sell him. She ALREADY doesn't live with her Mom. She could live with Dad just as easily. Somehow, I suspect she prefers the freedom of living at her friend's. Which would be even more pleasant if she had Daddy sending her money. Ya know?

 

[LdiJ]

Asking about...can the money be paid directly to the daughter..is so the daughter can pay the bills herself.. to get the gas back on in the house and have heat, hot water, and the ability to cook.

Afraid that next..will be no electricity..

His daughter says, "you cant force me to move, just write the check to me and I will take care of the house"

Which is why..the question is being asked

Do you have any idea why mom cannot keep the utilities on? Do you have any idea what the actual financial problem is? Sometimes identifying the base problem helps come up with a viable solution.

 

[cyjeff]

Let me put this simply (I seem to be doing a great deal of this lately)...

Until a judge says differently, your husband continues to pay mom.

Period. Even if.

If he doesn't, mom can and should sue him for not paying... even if he paid the money to the daughter. The judge would look at the money given to the daughter as a gift.

Your daughter is living in squalor, but doesn't want to come live with you? Either she is lying her ass off or your house is worse.

Which is it?

 

[Proserpina]

Does Dad want to buy some oceanfront property in Arizona? 'Cause I think that's what daughter is trying to sell him. She ALREADY doesn't live with her Mom. She could live with Dad just as easily. Somehow, I suspect she prefers the freedom of living at her friend's. Which would be even more pleasant if she had Daddy sending her money. Ya know?

ZOMG like, totally!

 

[LadyKal]

Does Dad want to buy some oceanfront property in Arizona? 'Cause I think that's what daughter is trying to sell him. She ALREADY doesn't live with her Mom. She could live with Dad just as easily. Somehow, I suspect she prefers the freedom of living at her friend's. Which would be even more pleasant if she had Daddy sending her money. Ya know?

That's my opinion on the matter, but... none the less.. her address on her license, is her mothers house... her address for school is our house

Do you have any idea why mom cannot keep the utilities on? Do you have any idea what the actual financial problem is? Sometimes identifying the base problem helps come up with a viable solution.

I have no clue what she does with her money, her income has not changed and the utility issues only came about in the past few months..

Let me put this simply (I seem to be doing a great deal of this lately)...

Until a judge says differently, your husband continues to pay mom.

Period. Even if.

If he doesn't, mom can and should sue him for not paying... even if he paid the money to the daughter. The judge would look at the money given to the daughter as a gift.

Your daughter is living in squalor, but doesn't want to come live with you? Either she is lying her ass off or your house is worse.

Which is it?

My house is clean, we have all our utilities on, there is food in our fridge, I would say our house is definitely not worse!!
I would hate to think she is lying about not having heat, hot water, a way to cook food... what would be the purpose of lying about that?

The whole purpose of this.. is to find out what options, if any, there are... to make sure, the child HAS the things she needs... and what can be done, to make sure she does.. and what needs to be done to make this occur

 

[Isis1]

Dad can follow the order to pay child support. Dad can request social services to do a welfare check.

As for teenagers not lying? What planet are you on?