child support

[mommieoffour]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? California So basically if I married a man that owes child support I am better off getting a divorce?

 

[Ambr]

I must of missed something??? Where did this question come from?

 

[mommieoffour]

actually I was just reading about the child support issues others are going through and realize nothing can be done about my situation. My husband does pay child support for his 13 year old son. We have four kids together and I like others on here are trying to get ahead and well no one seems to have any sympathy for people who do pay their child support but yet struggle with their families. I feel like divorce from him is my only option. I cannot continue to struggle like this with my own four kids and pay so much out to one kid. It would be best in my financial situation to get a divorce. I wonder why the system is like that??

 

[feastervilee]

I Know How You Feel, We Pay So Much For My Husbands Two Kids, And Can't Barely Afford To Live Our Selves. And Everyone Says Get A Second Job, Well The Second He Does That His Child Support Will Go Up, You Can't Win. And All The While, She's Got A Free Babysitter Makes Almost 6 Dollars More An Hour Then Him, And Get's His Chlid Support And Money For Daycare That There Not Even In.
Tell Me How That's Fair!!!!!!!!
Oh And We Have To Pay For The Airline Tickets To Get Them Here In Maine From Colorado But She's The One Who Moved, We Had To Agreed To That So They Would Lower The Child Support.
I Feel For You, Good Luck With You Decesion I've Considered Doing The Same, But I Knew What I Was Getting Myself Into When I Married Him, So I Have To Expect It, Or I Shouldn't Married Him.
Besides It's Not Forever Just Till Their 18! And Remember These Kids Never Asked To Be Born, So We Shouldn't Do Anything That Would Hurt Them In The Long Run!

 

[militarybrats]

actually I was just reading about the child support issues others are going through and realize nothing can be done about my situation. My husband does pay child support for his 13 year old son. We have four kids together and I like others on here are trying to get ahead and well no one seems to have any sympathy for people who do pay their child support but yet struggle with their families. I feel like divorce from him is my only option. I cannot continue to struggle like this with my own four kids and pay so much out to one kid. It would be best in my financial situation to get a divorce. I wonder why the system is like that??

So basicaly you are saying that you want to get a divorce so you can go after your husband for child support for "YOUR FOUR KIDS" so he does not have to pay so much for your "STEPSON". Leave me guess you will still live with him and live like you are married because you LOVE him so much.That is so selfish. You are willing to commit fraud so your husband does not have to support his first born. You should of thought about having four more kids with this man. This makes me so sick ! You knew he had to support that first kid when you got with him. What made you think that once you got married it would change the support !

 

[mommieoffour]

That was a priceless answer to what I had to say. That is exactly what I am talking about. Regardless of what I decide to do I am wrong. Nice. Actually no I would never fraud anyone and I realize my husband would not be able to support five children through child support. So really what are the advantages for me. But it does prove my point that you will get no sympathy if you are on the flip side of the coin with child support!

 

[haiku]

You never answered the questions posed to you, in your original post.I forgot if you mentioned, was your husband laid off through no fault of his own? have you done anything about seeing if you can get a reduction?

I am a step mom myself. I have one child with my husband. I do not work right now, but I could support myself fully if it came down to it.

if you are struggling to get by now, why in the world do you think you would be better off divorcing your husband. if he cannot pay his ex, how do you think he is going to pay you? Aside from the fact that what he would have to pay you would be based on his income AFTER the first suppport order for your stepson. Why not just start helping contribute to your household now, and take some of the burden from your husband. If your children are very young, try to find jobs where you 2 can help split the care of the kids. see if thier school is hiring for bus drivers and cafeteria workers, clasroom aides, perfect jobs for mothers of young children.

 

[stealth2]

So...... do YOU work?

 

[militarybrats]

Why should you get any sympathy ! YOU chose to have four more kids with this man. There is a thing called BIRTH CONTROL which is alot cheaper than raising a kid.

 

[djohnson]

Right. So sorry that you are having a hard time, but guess what? You knew he had the child and the support when you made the decision to have 4 more. No one can feel sorry for you because you walked into the situation with all information. Why should the first child have to suffer. He nor his mother (the ex) had any say in the amount of kids you had. That first child would be better off if you wouldn't have had them, but you aren't feeling sorry for them. You made your bed now lie in. I am a step mother and a birth mother so no, I'm not feeling sorry you and don't appreciate you whining over something you had full control over and 1st wife didn't.

 

[VeronicaGia]

actually I was just reading about the child support issues others are going through and realize nothing can be done about my situation. My husband does pay child support for his 13 year old son. We have four kids together and I like others on here are trying to get ahead and well no one seems to have any sympathy for people who do pay their child support but yet struggle with their families. I feel like divorce from him is my only option. I cannot continue to struggle like this with my own four kids and pay so much out to one kid. It would be best in my financial situation to get a divorce. I wonder why the system is like that??

And you think it will be easier on you, him, and all the kids concerned if he now has to fully support one household and help support two others? How do the kids do better in this situation?