Child Support

[Branndi]

What is the name of your state? il
I have a child support order, but I dont recieve any checks. I got one last year for $3. My son's father has never really been involved only his mother. I'm married and my husband has basically raised him with me from six months old. MY son will soon be turning 4. My husband wants to adopt my son or for me to at least get full custody. My sons father does not pay child support of any kind or even bother to be a part of his life. I nee advice on what I can do.

 

[Zephyr]

would dad voluntarily terminate his rights so your husband could adopt?

 

[Branndi]

I don't think so. I really want to ask but I haven;t done so yet. His mother would interfere I'm sure if she thought she couldn't see him.

 

[gattman]

What is the name of your state? il
I have a child support order, but I dont recieve any checks. I got one last year for $3. My son's father has never really been involved only his mother. I'm married and my husband has basically raised him with me from six months old. MY son will soon be turning 4. My husband wants to adopt my son or for me to at least get full custody. My sons father does not pay child support of any kind or even bother to be a part of his life. I nee advice on what I can do.

The only thing you can do is ask the father to give up his parental rights so the child can have a father in his life who really cares. It's terrible to say, but there are millions of deadbeat dads who could care less. Tell the father what your intentions are and tell him he will be relieved from all legal obligations to the child. At this point he risk jail, drivers license suspension and other ramifications for not paying chils support. Pay on his sympothetic side and don't make him anger. Good luck with your future.

 

[Branndi]

My thoughts were the same maybe if I told him he wouldn't have to legally be responsible but I would still allow his mother to see him he might go for it. My son loves his grandmother very much and I reallydont want to take him away from her but she doesn't help me support hi either, just causes problems.

 

[betterthanher]

My thoughts were the same maybe if I told him he wouldn't have to legally be responsible but I would still allow his mother to see him he might go for it. My son loves his grandmother very much and I reallydont want to take him away from her but she doesn't help me support hi either, just causes problems.

Umm...the grandmother has no LEGAL obligation to support a child she had NO DOING in creating.

 

[Branndi]

I did as advised and finally asked him. He said that was a big decision and I exclaimed that not taking care of his child for four years was a big thing also. We are all planning to meet tomorrow to hopefully come to some type of agreement. But what if he does give in and then later down the road want to become involved.

 

[Branndi]

By the way I never said that his mother was obligated to do anything. She is simply the only person I deal with. She sometimes gets too involved for example threatentening to take me to court for ''grandma rights''.

 

[outragedMOM]

adoption

Hi Brandi
I can feel what you are feeling. I was married when I had my youngest and the youngest is the child of another man. My ex wanted to adopt him,even though we were just about divorced because he didn't want my son to miss out on things, so I asked the Bio and he said no way then he thought about it and said ok he would sign the paper, well he showed up at my house at like 4AM and handed me the paper well my sister was there at the time and she was going to notorize it when she went to get her stamp he signed the paper and said to her when she returned and laughed you didn't see me sign it so you can't stamp it. With that I torn it up and threw him out of my house.

Good luck to you and your husband I wish you the best. Your child deserves to have a real dad, and your husband sounds like he is.

 

[Branndi]

This may sound stupid on my part but I'm trying to figure out how adoption is the best way to go. My husband wants us all to have the same last name and he wants to legally be responsible. I have warned him that if we were to part he would be legally responsible for the chil support and insurance. What I really want to know is why this is the best thing for my child again. At the moment I feel that it only lets the ncp off the hook especially since I think the rest of his family would still want to be involved. I hope someone understands what I'm trying to say.

 

[Branndi]

Please forgive me I had a small relapsed in my thoughts. I want my husband to adopt my so because I something were to happen to me that is who I want him rto remain with.

 

[outragedMOM]

I am not a lawyer nor do I have any legal background, I only have first hand dealings with all this and if I'm correct and your husband does adopt your child then he will become his legal obligation from that point on and yes you can change your childs last name to your current last name and I believe that the Bio has no rights to that child after he is adopted. If the Bio signs adoption papers then he is basically signing off on the child. Do not feel that you are letting the Bio off the hook, look at it that you are giving your child a true dad.

 

[betterthanher]

By the way I never said that his mother was obligated to do anything.

You DID say that she doesn't support him either. Although I would strongly disagree with that because, as you don't seem to realize, the amount of love that the grandmother shows the child is worth more than child support could ever provide.

She is simply the only person I deal with. She sometimes gets too involved for example threatentening to take me to court for ''grandma rights''.

Well, there are states that do allow for grandparents to file for liberal visitation. And if the grandma is that involved, the court would find it in the child's best interest.

 

[Branndi]

Lady you still dont understand. I know that his grandmother is not obligated to do anything. And I understand the power of a grandmothers love. What I need is monetary help not a headache. After four years of no helpb I dont care who the money comes from.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

If this is only about child support, how is your husband adopting your child going to chnage anything if you remain married or are you planning on a divorce and want to have your husband on the hook for child support after the divorce? If you have an order for child support why have you not enforced it if you need the money? Since you have established a relationship between the child and grandparent, she may petition the court for visitation rights.