Child Support

[hellokitty1101]

What is the name of your state? AL
I need advice on how to go about getting legal help with child support? I just found out that my daughters father has recently gotten back together with his first wife and has had another child. I didn't know about that child and she didn't know about my child. (yes, fathered by the same dad!) This happened going on four days ago and I haven't heard or seen him.
To top it off, he is in law enforcement.
I've never pushed child support, but now I think he has made a choice that doesn't include my daughter so what do I need to do???

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state? AL
I need advice on how to go about getting legal help with child support? I just found out that my daughters father has recently gotten back together with his first wife and has had another child. I didn't know about that child and she didn't know about my child. (yes, fathered by the same dad!) This happened going on four days ago and I haven't heard or seen him.
To top it off, he is in law enforcement.
I've never pushed child support, but now I think he has made a choice that doesn't include my daughter so what do I need to do???

This sounds like you were expecting the daughter to keep your man leashed to you which is a mistake. he made a choice that doesn't include you. That is the first thing.
The second thing -- has paternity been established by the courts? If not he has no legal obligations or responsibilities or rights to the child.
Third thing -- if you want child support you will have to establish paternity and petition for it. He then has the right -- after paternity is established -- to petition for custody of the child. He will get visitation at the very least.

 

[NCP Dad in TN]

You sound like my ex wife... bitter and vindictive.

I am 100% in favor of dads supporting their kids. I just think it's sad that this issue didn't cross your mind until AFTER he's moved on and married someone else.

 

[Ohiogal]

You sound like my ex wife... bitter and vindictive.

I am 100% in favor of dads supporting their kids. I just think it's sad that this issue didn't cross your mind until AFTER he's moved on and married someone else.

Oh NCP Dad in Tn, lets get it right. He hasn't married someone else -- he just returned to his FIRST wife and dumped OP which she took as dumping the child. Which may or may not be reality.

 

[hellokitty1101]

Gee thanks guys!! You've got it all wrong, I'm not the bad one! We were together for 6 years and he cheated on me with her. I just found out that they had been seeing eachother and had a child. He has been seeing me and her both and we just caught him in his cheating!I'm not mean and vindictive, I'm just looking out for my child. Of course there is legal paternity, he signed her birth certificate. Like I said, we've been together for 6 years, even though we were not married. He always bought everything she needed without me having to ask and now it has just stopped. He's not even called to check on her and she's only 2. He's mad at us because we got together and found out what he had been doing to us both, plus the children! Thanks for all your help though.

 

[NCP Dad in TN]

Oh NCP Dad in Tn, lets get it right. He hasn't married someone else -- he just returned to his FIRST wife and dumped OP which she took as dumping the child. Which may or may not be reality.

OHHHHHH... Ok. I get it now. Sorry, I just picked up on the "I've never pushed child support but now he's done something I don't like" and thought I smelled some jealousy there...

Kitty, just file for child support. Who he's with now or how he got there doesn't change that he needs to support his daughter.

 

[hellokitty1101]

Thanks, that makes me feel a little better! Since he's in law enforcement I feel a little threatened because he knows everyone in the system which that shouldn't make a difference. Gosh, he puts people in jail but is being a dead beat dad! It's not jealousy, that why we never got married because of the lies he told and used his work as an excuse. I just feel sorry for the kids he's going to hurt. Of course I didn't think he would just stop everything. The visitation is no problem for me because I want her to see and be with her daddy! I think the other mom will try to keep him away from us though and that is what's happening is the reason we haven't seen or heard from him? Who Knows? But thanks anyway!

 

[NCP Dad in TN]

Well, visitation and child support are two totally different issues. She (the new wife) can keep him away from the kids if she wants, but that won't change the fact that he has to pay support.

Hopefully she won't be like that, though.

 

[hellokitty1101]

She is like that. She has more than likely told him it's either us or them. What's so sad is neither one of us knew the other child had a sibling. He's kept my child a secret and that hurts. She loves her daddy and for him to disappear is going to do more damage than not having any money. I have a job and have money so that' s really not the issue it's just the point. If I don't stand up for her then he will get off free and never support her like he should.

 

[stealth2]

Just out of idle curiousity - how long has he been divorced, and were you the one in the picture at that time?

 

[nextwife]

What is the name of your state? AL
I need advice on how to go about getting legal help with child support? I just found out that my daughters father has recently gotten back together with his first wife and has had another child. I didn't know about that child and she didn't know about my child. (yes, fathered by the same dad!) This happened going on four days ago and I haven't heard or seen him.
To top it off, he is in law enforcement.
I've never pushed child support, but now I think he has made a choice that doesn't include my daughter so what do I need to do???

Filing for CS simply because of WHO daddy is with, does sound vindictive.

Choosing to file simply because Daddy is with someone sounds like you are trying to punish dad for having a relationship and family without you.

 

[fairisfair]

Gee, perhaps I am confused but don't ALL parents wait to file for child support until the other parent leaves??????

Why the heck shouldn't she??

 

[nextwife]

I didn't say she shouldn't.l I said that stating that her REASON for filing was that "she recently found out" who he was with sounded vindictive. Sounds like she and dad have been apart for some time.

So this was NOT made to appear that dad's LEAVING was very recent, only HER discovery of dad's RELATIONSHIP was recent.

 

[fairisfair]

Doesn't she say that she hasn't heard from him in 4 days?

"This happened going on four days ago and I haven't heard or seen him."

Anyway, even if it had been four years, she is still entitled to file for child support. Whatever her motive.

 

[stealth2]

Doesn't she say that she hasn't heard from him in 4 days?

"This happened going on four days ago and I haven't heard or seen him."

Anyway, even if it had been four years, she is still entitled to file for child support. Whatever her motive.

If I understood her correctly, she and the ex-wife/current gf found out 4 days ago about each other and their respective kids. If he had time to go off, get back with his ex-wife, and have a baby born with her - he's been gone more than 4 days.