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Child support and additional expenses

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jones.rachel13

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

I have 10 month old twins with my ex (never married). He is court ordered to pay $75/week, $300/month total for them. It was my understanding when we signed the child support agreement, that all other expenses were to be split 50/50. Now with that being said, I provided for them completely on my own for the first 6 months and had them 24/7. Since I've been working, the child support is being paid (not by him but by his grandmother) and he watches them MAYBE one day a week. He does not keep them any additional time and it is a battle just to get him to do the one day a week. I bought the first set of car seats (infant seats) before they were born which were about $130 each. His grandmother bought the second set (the next stage of seats) which were about $70 each. I have the children everyday of the week besides the possible one day a week he watches them while I go to work. They are now telling me that they want the car seats back after I've had them for several months! They are threatening to call the police. Am I obligated to give them back? Even though I paid for the first set? I just do not understand why they would want them when he hardly ever has the babies. They will just collect dust! Please help!
 


Ohiogal

Queen Bee
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

I have 10 month old twins with my ex (never married). He is court ordered to pay $75/week, $300/month total for them. It was my understanding when we signed the child support agreement, that all other expenses were to be split 50/50. Now with that being said, I provided for them completely on my own for the first 6 months and had them 24/7. Since I've been working, the child support is being paid (not by him but by his grandmother) and he watches them MAYBE one day a week. He does not keep them any additional time and it is a battle just to get him to do the one day a week. I bought the first set of car seats (infant seats) before they were born which were about $130 each. His grandmother bought the second set (the next stage of seats) which were about $70 each. I have the children everyday of the week besides the possible one day a week he watches them while I go to work. They are now telling me that they want the car seats back after I've had them for several months! They are threatening to call the police. Am I obligated to give them back? Even though I paid for the first set? I just do not understand why they would want them when he hardly ever has the babies. They will just collect dust! Please help!
Child support is to reimburse you for the expenses of raising the children. Unless the court order states that other expenses are to be split then they are not> his grandmother has a right to the car seats that she bought unless you can prove that they were a gift to you.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Child support is to reimburse you for the expenses of raising the children. Unless the court order states that other expenses are to be split then they are not> his grandmother has a right to the car seats that she bought unless you can prove that they were a gift to you.
Wouldn't that be more like the other way around? Wouldn't grandma have to prove that they were not a gift? It would be more than a little odd (in the general scheme of things) for a relative to purchase items for babies and then months later demand them back.
 

jones.rachel13

Junior Member
Wouldn't that be more like the other way around? Wouldn't grandma have to prove that they were not a gift? It would be more than a little odd (in the general scheme of things) for a relative to purchase items for babies and then months later demand them back.
That's what I was thinking. How childish and selfish is it to take away something for the babies, not ME, when all they are going to do it sit over at the house and never be used? Why even give them to me in the first place?
 

jones.rachel13

Junior Member
Maybe she wants them for HER car. If you need car seats for YOUR car, then buy some.
They never have the babies though! That's my whole point! On top of that, they were given to me. Additionally, his grandmother has no visitation with them so when would she ever need them?
 

jones.rachel13

Junior Member
If it was no big deal for me to go out and buy another set, I would. To save any arguments or "drama". Obviously it is not an easy thing financially for me just to go out today and buy them, especially 2!
 

Antigone*

Senior Member
If it was no big deal for me to go out and buy another set, I would. To save any arguments or "drama". Obviously it is not an easy thing financially for me just to go out today and buy them, especially 2!
You must already realize this, but do not expect any more than the court ordered amount from the children's father (who pays it doesn't matter). The rest of this is going to be on you ~ completely.

You decided to have children with this man, so now you must deal with the consequences of that.
 

jones.rachel13

Junior Member
You must already realize this, but do not expect any more than the court ordered amount from the children's father (who pays it doesn't matter). The rest of this is going to be on you ~ completely.

You decided to have children with this man, so now you must deal with the consequences of that.
Ok? So how does your comment answer my question? Am I legally obligated to give her the car seats back that were given to me as a gift?
 

CourtClerk

Senior Member
17 years and 2 more months of this mess. When you decided to have babies, you decided to take on the expense, WITHOUT a guarantee that anyone else was going to help you with it. This is one of those expenses. You don't want drama, but you're on a forum complaining about car seats. Drama. Give them back the seats. Maybe they want to put the dogs in them. Who cares what they want to do with them.
 

RRevak

Senior Member
Wouldn't that be more like the other way around? Wouldn't grandma have to prove that they were not a gift? It would be more than a little odd (in the general scheme of things) for a relative to purchase items for babies and then months later demand them back.
Not really as this is dads grandma not hers. It would be odd if it were her grandmother but since this isnt technically a relative its not that unthinkable. Especially if things between them have gone sour.
 

Antigone*

Senior Member
Ok? So how does your comment answer my question? Am I legally obligated to give her the car seats back that were given to me as a gift?
Let her sue you for the return of the darned seats. It is her problem. The worst that can happen is that you are ordered to give them back.

Don't make this a bigger issue than it really is. Your real issue is that you shacked up with a guy who shirks his responsibilities and you will be stuck being mom and dad to these kids.

It is sad for the children, but you can't control dad. I do want to advise you that the more you allow grandma to interject herself into these kids lives, the easier it may be for her later on to claim "grandparents rights."

My suggestion is this:

1 ~ Take the child support in any form you get it.
2!~ Allow dad and only dad to pick up his kids on his parenting time. If he doesn't show up then too bad.
3 ~ Don't allow granny to pick them up or have time alone with them.
4 ~ If you want granny to see them, you take them, you stay and you make it a short visit.
 

CourtClerk

Senior Member
Not really as this is dads grandma not hers. It would be odd if it were her grandmother but since this isnt technically a relative its not that unthinkable. Especially if things between them have gone sour.
Grandma bought them for dad. Dad let mom borrow them, and now she won't give them back.
 

jones.rachel13

Junior Member
17 years and 2 more months of this mess. When you decided to have babies, you decided to take on the expense, WITHOUT a guarantee that anyone else was going to help you with it. This is one of those expenses. You don't want drama, but you're on a forum complaining about car seats. Drama. Give them back the seats. Maybe they want to put the dogs in them. Who cares what they want to do with them.
Like I said previously, I am not in the financial position to go out and buy 2 more car seats today! If I was, I wouldn't have even wasted my time getting on here and posting the question!
 
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