Child support agreement

[mrn1ceguy]

This question pertains to Ohio law. My ex girlfriend and I were together for 6 years, unmarried, and had a child together. Last October we broke up our unofficial engagement and in doing so we discussed how child support would work for the next couple of years. We came to an agreement that in lieu of paying monthly that she would get to have the engagement ring I purchased for her (retail value of $7,000) in exchange for my not having to pay child support until January of 2017 (2 years without payment). Since then she has threatened on multiple times to give the ring back and go file for child support whenever she gets upset about something, so we have recently agreed to sign something and finalize the deal so that there will be no more discussion of it.

My question is this: if I write up a document simply stating that in exchange for possession of the engagement ring (which, by the way, was never given to her prior to our break up as it was an informal engagement) she agrees not to file for child support until January of 2017 and that any child support owed prior to that date will be waived and we have it notarized, will this document hold up in court in Ohio? Is there anything else that I should do in order to make sure that I am covered in any future scenarios that I don't end up losing both the ring (she's now trying to sell it) and having to pay child support for January 2015 to January 2017? I'm really trying not to involve lawyers in this because the fees are quite honestly more than I can afford right now (she really messed me up financially) and even the $250 I was quoted to have a document drawn up by a lawyer is more than I can afford right now.

Any input on this situation is appreciated. Let me also add that I'm far from trying to skip out on child support, since I'm pretty much waiting for someone to bash me for trying to get out of paying, I just simply don't have it right now as I'm looking for a job in my field (recently graduated college) and until then I'm broke and have a load of student loan debt to pay back. I also watch my daughter every Tuesday and Thursday and every other Saturday/Sunday so it's not like I'm not trying to play as significant of a role in my daughter's life as I can. I also pay for her health insurance which is about $180 a month just for her.

 

[Silverplum]

This question pertains to Ohio law. My ex girlfriend and I were together for 6 years, unmarried, and had a child together. Last October we broke up our unofficial engagement and in doing so we discussed how child support would work for the next couple of years. We came to an agreement that in lieu of paying monthly that she would get to have the engagement ring I purchased for her (retail value of $7,000) in exchange for my not having to pay child support until January of 2017 (2 years without payment). Since then she has threatened on multiple times to give the ring back and go file for child support whenever she gets upset about something, so we have recently agreed to sign something and finalize the deal so that there will be no more discussion of it.

My question is this: if I write up a document simply stating that in exchange for possession of the engagement ring (which, by the way, was never given to her prior to our break up as it was an informal engagement) she agrees not to file for child support until January of 2017 and that any child support owed prior to that date will be waived and we have it notarized, will this document hold up in court in Ohio? Is there anything else that I should do in order to make sure that I am covered in any future scenarios that I don't end up losing both the ring (she's now trying to sell it) and having to pay child support for January 2015 to January 2017? I'm really trying not to involve lawyers in this because the fees are quite honestly more than I can afford right now (she really messed me up financially) and even the $250 I was quoted to have a document drawn up by a lawyer is more than I can afford right now.

Any input on this situation is appreciated. Let me also add that I'm far from trying to skip out on child support, since I'm pretty much waiting for someone to bash me for trying to get out of paying, I just simply don't have it right now as I'm looking for a job in my field (recently graduated college) and until then I'm broke and have a load of student loan debt to pay back. I also watch my daughter every Tuesday and Thursday and every other Saturday/Sunday so it's not like I'm not trying to play as significant of a role in my daughter's life as I can. I also pay for her health insurance which is about $180 a month just for her.

Rings don't feed, clothe, or house a child. Not even diamond ones. It won't hold up in any state.

 

[stealth2]

7k retail will net her MAYBE 1k. That's some $42/mo. She'd be a fool. And no, notarizing your agreement does not make it legally enforceable. She could turn around the next day and file for child support, and she should.

 

[TigerD]

This question pertains to Ohio law. My ex girlfriend and I were together for 6 years, unmarried, and had a child together. Last October we broke up our unofficial engagement and in doing so we discussed how child support would work for the next couple of years. We came to an agreement that in lieu of paying monthly that she would get to have the engagement ring I purchased for her (retail value of $7,000) in exchange for my not having to pay child support until January of 2017 (2 years without payment). Since then she has threatened on multiple times to give the ring back and go file for child support whenever she gets upset about something, so we have recently agreed to sign something and finalize the deal so that there will be no more discussion of it.

My question is this: if I write up a document simply stating that in exchange for possession of the engagement ring (which, by the way, was never given to her prior to our break up as it was an informal engagement) she agrees not to file for child support until January of 2017 and that any child support owed prior to that date will be waived and we have it notarized, will this document hold up in court in Ohio? Is there anything else that I should do in order to make sure that I am covered in any future scenarios that I don't end up losing both the ring (she's now trying to sell it) and having to pay child support for January 2015 to January 2017? I'm really trying not to involve lawyers in this because the fees are quite honestly more than I can afford right now (she really messed me up financially) and even the $250 I was quoted to have a document drawn up by a lawyer is more than I can afford right now.

Any input on this situation is appreciated. Let me also add that I'm far from trying to skip out on child support, since I'm pretty much waiting for someone to bash me for trying to get out of paying, I just simply don't have it right now as I'm looking for a job in my field (recently graduated college) and until then I'm broke and have a load of student loan debt to pay back. I also watch my daughter every Tuesday and Thursday and every other Saturday/Sunday so it's not like I'm not trying to play as significant of a role in my daughter's life as I can. I also pay for her health insurance which is about $180 a month just for her.

She is going to take you to the cleaners. You need to do this right. Get a lawyer. Set up a parenting plan, custody agreement, visitation schedules and set the child support amount.

If you try to wing it, you are going to lose - big.

TD

 

[mrn1ceguy]

Rings don't feed, clothe, or house a child. Not even diamond ones. It won't hold up in any state.

That's not what I asked and didn't have anything to do with the question whatsoever, if you're going to troll do it somewhere else.

 

[mrn1ceguy]

7k retail will net her MAYBE 1k. That's some $42/mo. She'd be a fool. And no, notarizing your agreement does not make it legally enforceable. She could turn around the next day and file for child support, and she should.

That's funny because I just had a pawn shop offer me 2k for it cash the other day, and I've had higher offers from private buyers. And if we worked out an agreement and she agreed to the terms of the agreement why is it ok for her to back out of the deal later just because she's pissed off at me? Believe what you want but honestly I've done nothing but what this woman has asked me to do, in fact it was her OFFER to take the ring in place of 2 years of child support not mine. I told her I was going to sell it and give her the money and she wanted the ring instead. Now she has found herself on hard times due to her own poor decisions and is threatening to back out of our original agreement because of it and those decisions had nothing to do with me I've done exactly what she has asked me to every step of the way.

 

[Zigner]

That's not what I asked and didn't have anything to do with the question whatsoever, if you're going to troll do it somewhere else.

Actually, it precisely answered your question. But hey, I guess your M.O. is to be rude to those volunteers who provide answers...

 

[Silverplum]

That's funny because I just had a pawn shop offer me 2k for it cash the other day, and I've had higher offers from private buyers. And if we worked out an agreement and she agreed to the terms of the agreement why is it ok for her to back out of the deal later just because she's pissed off at me? Believe what you want but honestly I've done nothing but what this woman has asked me to do, in fact it was her OFFER to take the ring in place of 2 years of child support not mine. I told her I was going to sell it and give her the money and she wanted the ring instead. Now she has found herself on hard times due to her own poor decisions and is threatening to back out of our original agreement because of it and those decisions had nothing to do with me I've done exactly what she has asked me to every step of the way.

Alrighty, then.

 

[Silverplum]

Actually, it precisely answered your question. But hey, I guess your M.O. is to be rude to those volunteers who provide answers...

I agree with you.

 

[TigerD]

That's funny because I just had a pawn shop offer me 2k for it cash the other day, and I've had higher offers from private buyers. And if we worked out an agreement and she agreed to the terms of the agreement why is it ok for her to back out of the deal later just because she's pissed off at me? Believe what you want but honestly I've done nothing but what this woman has asked me to do, in fact it was her OFFER to take the ring in place of 2 years of child support not mine. I told her I was going to sell it and give her the money and she wanted the ring instead. Now she has found herself on hard times due to her own poor decisions and is threatening to back out of our original agreement because of it and those decisions had nothing to do with me I've done exactly what she has asked me to every step of the way.

You overlook the problems with your reasoning:
1. The ring was hers to begin with. You gave it to her. It is not yours to sell.
2. The lack of consideration makes your contract invalid.
3. You need an attorney yesterday.

TD

 

[mrn1ceguy]

You overlook the problems with your reasoning:
1. The ring was hers to begin with. You gave it to her. It is not yours to sell.
2. The lack of consideration makes your contract invalid.
3. You need an attorney yesterday.

TD

Actually, if you reread, we were never engaged and she never had possession of the ring before the agreement we made so no I didn't give it to her. What lack of consideration are you referring to exactly? And I agree, I need an attorney but unfortunately this isn't a criminal matter so the state isn't paying for it. I appreciate your input.

 

[mrn1ceguy]

Actually, it precisely answered your question. But hey, I guess your M.O. is to be rude to those volunteers who provide answers...

You answered one part of the question actually, the purpose of this thread was to get advice on what I need to do here to cover my ass I don't need to be reminded that a ring isn't edible. The point here, simply, is that we made an agreement regardless of whether or not anybody else agrees with what we agreed upon and I need to know what I need to do in order to make it hold up in court. I've already talked to an attorney who said that we needed to get a notarized document which he would draft stating that she agrees not to file for child support until January of 2017 but he wants to charge $250 and I really don't have it but if that's my only option then so be it. I'm asking for alternatives.

 

[Silverplum]

You answered one part of the question actually, the purpose of this thread was to get advice on what I need to do here to cover my ass I don't need to be reminded that a ring isn't edible. The point here, simply, is that we made an agreement regardless of whether or not anybody else agrees with what we agreed upon and I need to know what I need to do in order to make it hold up in court. I've already talked to an attorney who said that we needed to get a notarized document which he would draft stating that she agrees not to file for child support until January of 2017 but he wants to charge $250 and I really don't have it but if that's my only option then so be it. I'm asking for alternatives.

I already told you: it won't hold up in court. Not in your state, not in any state.

But hey, you don't even have $250 to do better than a "troll" for advice.

 

[LdiJ]

Actually, if you reread, we were never engaged and she never had possession of the ring before the agreement we made so no I didn't give it to her. What lack of consideration are you referring to exactly? And I agree, I need an attorney but unfortunately this isn't a criminal matter so the state isn't paying for it. I appreciate your input.

Lets see if I can put this in terms that will be clearer to you. An agreement or contract that is against the public good, or contains illegal items is not enforceable under the law.

Private agreements regarding child support are not enforceable. Only agreements signed off on by a judge are enforceable. No judge would EVER sign off on a child support agreement that said that mom got to keep the ring in lieu of child support, because that is not in the best interest of the child nor in the best interest of the state.

Therefore, what everybody has been telling your is correct. Your private agreement would not be enforceable, and no judge would sign off on it anyway.

 

[not2cleverRed]

An "engagement ring" is a gift. The recipient gets to keep the gift in the event of a break up.

So... if you broke up before giving it to her, you should have sold it and used the $ for child support.

Because, you see, a judge is going to likely see it as being a gift as well. And your behavior as horribly tacky. Especially since you seem to be complaining about how she's trying to sell it.

A judge might further question how you could afford a $7,000 ring, being a poor student, and become further irritated. A judge could then set child support based on an imputed income (full time, whatever your average pay could be, based on your qualifications) - regardless of you being unemployed. AND, if you end up with a CS order, based on imputed income, while you are unemployed, you are stuck.

The only thing going for you is that, when your ex files, child support will only be backdated to the date she filed. So, if she file *today* you would only be on the hook for today forward.