Child Support Case worker not doing anything

[MommaPA]

Now on to "What am I doing to help my caseworker"? Well, absolutely nothing! I do not like to talk about this and when a situation arises that I have to, I get sick to my stomach, my heart races, and I have nightmares. However, I will. I do not feel that I should have to contact my ex! I have had 2 restraining orders on this man! He is DANGEROUS! I am scared of him! I did not know when I was with him that he was a dangerous person at first. He beat me, hit me and he also threatened to hit my son who was a baby at the time. Over the years, he has (and I have some on tape) made many many threats! He has been arrested, he has been in jail (this all since I was with him), he has been in trouble for domestic violence against women and children and other people. He has a temper. He has threatened my life.
He has threatened to leave state with my son and that I would not see him again. He said I would have to sit there shut up and there would be nothing I could do about him taking him. My last atty who was doing the last restraining order wanted me to do the same thing by trying to find out his information. I had his social and other info, but they wanted me to go find out and/or call and find out what he was driving and his license plate number. Put my life in danger to get a restraining order. I know it is just a piece of paper. I know of people who have had horrid outcomes. This is only a part of it. There is much much more. I do not want to endanger my son or me. I just don't get people who think I should be doing this. I am scared of this man! I am getting nauseated talking about him and my heart is racing. I start shaking....

...I went over a year without it and I will just go another year if I have to. It is much better than people thinking I should go out there and find out info from him....

....It just gets worse, much worse. I do not want him to go to jail for non support though. That would only make it worse and he would retaliate. I do not want my son & I and my family to be put in danger. I don't want to anger him. I don't want us to become a statistic.

Hi. I am not a lawyer. I don’t live in Ohio. I am also a divorced single mom with an ex-husband who has anger issues. Since “The FreeAdvice Forums are intended to enable consumers to benefit from the experience of other consumers who have faced similar legal issues,” I will share my personal thoughts and opinions based on my experience.

Have you ever been in contact with some of the women’s shelters and domestic violence centers in your area? You are already wise to the potential risks of ROs, so perhaps you might have already. I have found some women’s shelters and dv centers to be great resources for all kind of useful information. They offer their experience with volatile situations…and sometimes comfort. Be aware that different centers have different kinds of approaches. From warm and personal to brisk and legal. Some are faith based. Some are geared towards immediate crisis, but some do also offer help for managing long term situations. Although some centers may be called “shelters” many offer more than just a bed, (since I understand that literal shelter is not what you are looking for). Some have connections to legal advocates who are specifically familiar with people in dv situations. Some of the centers have connections with social workers and/or counselors. Some can offer treatment ideas for those who show symptoms of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). You can talk with staff and/or volunteers at different centers to find the right place(s) that could be a temporary or ongoing resource for you to tap into when you need to. Depending on the place, you can call to talk, get referrals, make appointments or just drop in to talk on your way home from work.

Other thoughts that came up while reading your post: Trust your instincts. You have them for a reason. Safety first. No one knows your situation as well as you do. Sometimes, the best thing to do is nothing.

Speaking of instincts, I also would suggest borrowing the book “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin de Becker from your local library. (Or buy a used copy from an online source). Don’t let it get your heart in your stomach, use it to sharpen your response to the instincts you already have. I am not affiliated with nor will profit in any way by recommending reading this book as a resource. If suggesting a book title to read is a violation of TOS I apologize and please remove the mention.

I want to send you strength. You are a smart cookie in a tough situation. You have your son, you take good care of him, and thank goodness right now you and your son are safe.

 

[Ohiogal]

I don't know what happened to my previous post. I am late in posting a reply due to surgeries. I honestly forgot about his until now because of everything going on. Now on to "What am I doing to help my caseworker"? Well, absolutely nothing!

Then EXPECT nothing. Do not expect to receive child support.

I do not like to talk about this and when a situation arises that I have to, I get sick to my stomach, my heart races, and I have nightmares. However, I will. I do not feel that I should have to contact my ex! I have had 2 restraining orders on this man! He is DANGEROUS! I am scared of him! I did not know when I was with him that he was a dangerous person at first. He beat me, hit me and he also threatened to hit my son who was a baby at the time. Over the years, he has (and I have some on tape) made many many threats! He has been arrested, he has been in jail (this all since I was with him), he has been in trouble for domestic violence against women and children and other people. He has a temper. He has threatened my life. He has threatened to leave state with my son and that I would not see him again. He said I would have to sit there shut up and there would be nothing I could do about him taking him.

Have you had counseling?

My last atty who was doing the last restraining order wanted me to do the same thing by trying to find out his information. I had his social and other info, but they wanted me to go find out and/or call and find out what he was driving and his license plate number. Put my life in danger to get a restraining order. I know it is just a piece of paper. I know of people who have had horrid outcomes. This is only a part of it. There is much much more. I do not want to endanger my son or me. I just don't get people who think I should be doing this. I am scared of this man! I am getting nauseated talking about him and my heart is racing. I start shaking.

And therefore you are still living under his thumb.

They have more information than I do. My last caseworker, at least called him and sent him a letter to keep in touch and see how things were going with work, etc. She checked in on him. This one does not do that. She waits for him to call her. I went over a year without it and I will just go another year if I have to. It is much better than people thinking I should go out there and find out info from him. Besides, I seriously doubt he would give me the info anymore than I would give him mine. I gave them all the information I had and I got that from the internet. (mostly his mugshot) and court info that anyone can get online. I guess you feel my son is not entitled to child support if I cannot find out the information and "help the caseworker".

Caseworkers are NOT investigators. They handle hundreds of cases per person. They don't have time to check in with every client.

Now this is a minor amount of the info about him and the situation. There is soooo much more. It would take all evening to type though. It just gets worse, much worse. I do not want him to go to jail for non support though. That would only make it worse and he would retaliate. I do not want my son & I and my family to be put in danger. I don't want to anger him. I don't want us to become a statistic.

Then do nothing.

 

[Just Blue]

Then EXPECT nothing. Do not expect to receive child support.


Have you had counseling?


And therefore you are still living under his thumb.



Caseworkers are NOT investigators. They handle hundreds of cases per person. They don't have time to check in with every client.



Then do nothing.

OG..I think you should have stated that you are actually an attorney in Ohio.