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  1. #1
    empress1223 is offline Junior Member
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    Question Child support enforcement and food stamps

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

    My children's father refused to help me much so I had to apply for food stamps. Applying for food stamps makes you start the child support enforcement (CSE). He has helped me somewhat in the past with the kids but with my salary from 2 jobs I still can't make ends meet. He did give me about $300 a month ago but then asked for $60 back a couple days after . All I asked from him was to keep the kids 3 days a week so that daycare costs can be shifted to other bills and he refused. Why? Because I decided to send my son to daycare for one day. I take home $710 every two weeks from my full-time job and avg $86 from part-time job a week and he gets $1050 working only 1 job. Daycare costs about $800 a month and one of the kids are 5 months old so you know the expenses involved in that. He threatened to get fired from his job unless I take it off. Needless to say, after only one week of being told about CSE, he got fired! And somehow this is all my fault?! Now he's persistant in wanting me to cancel the proceedings (its only been almost 2 weeks since I started cooperating with CSE).

    My oldest is 9 years old and I never had to take him for child support. I've always been able to swing it on my own with no outside help other than the occational gift to my kids from my parents. Never did I think the day would come I would have to apply for state assistance. Even worse I never thought I'd have to go through child support. I guess I put myself in this space because I used to let him get away with not being around to help take care of our kids. I never asked him for a dime in the past. Oh well.

    My question is: Is there a way to kinda mediate with CSE without going to court. 2nd question is: does anyone know if mediation affect food stamps?
  2. #2
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by empress1223 View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

    My children's father refused to help me much so I had to apply for food stamps. Applying for food stamps makes you start the child support enforcement (CSE). He has helped me somewhat in the past with the kids but with my salary from 2 jobs I still can't make ends meet. He did give me about $300 a month ago but then asked for $60 back a couple days after . All I asked from him was to keep the kids 3 days a week so that daycare costs can be shifted to other bills and he refused. Why? Because I decided to send my son to daycare for one day. I take home $710 every two weeks from my full-time job and avg $86 from part-time job a week and he gets $1050 working only 1 job. Daycare costs about $800 a month and one of the kids are 5 months old so you know the expenses involved in that. He threatened to get fired from his job unless I take it off. Needless to say, after only one week of being told about CSE, he got fired! And somehow this is all my fault?! Now he's persistant in wanting me to cancel the proceedings (its only been almost 2 weeks since I started cooperating with CSE).

    My oldest is 9 years old and I never had to take him for child support. I've always been able to swing it on my own with no outside help other than the occational gift to my kids from my parents. Never did I think the day would come I would have to apply for state assistance. Even worse I never thought I'd have to go through child support. I guess I put myself in this space because I used to let him get away with not being around to help take care of our kids. I never asked him for a dime in the past. Oh well.

    My question is: Is there a way to kinda mediate with CSE without going to court. 2nd question is: does anyone know if mediation affect food stamps?

    Why did you have another child after 8 years of knowing Dad does/will not support his child/ren??
  3. #3
    empress1223 is offline Junior Member
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    We were on and off for several years. Three years ago after a long separation we got back to together and things were great. We even moved down here and lived together as a family. Things headed south couple months before I got pregnant. Found out after having the baby, that was because he was seeing someone on the side . Short story: Once I got pregnant I guess that wasnt' to his liking so he gave me an ultimatum of terminating...I moved out. I would've never imagined he'd give me such a demand but that's how it went. I guess I was trying to make something work that obviously wasnt but that's neither here nor there. I've been trying to move on from that for almost a year now.
  4. #4
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by empress1223 View Post
    We were on and off for several years. Three years ago after a long separation we got back to together and things were great. We even moved down here and lived together as a family. Things headed south couple months before I got pregnant. Found out after having the baby, that was because he was seeing someone on the side . Short story: Once I got pregnant I guess that wasnt' to his liking so he gave me an ultimatum of terminating...I moved out. I would've never imagined he'd give me such a demand but that's how it went. I guess I was trying to make something work that obviously wasnt but that's neither here nor there. I've been trying to move on from that for almost a year now.


    Let dad have his tantrum. Get the support ordered.
  5. #5
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by empress1223 View Post
    Things headed south couple months before I got pregnant.
    And the solution to that is... have unprotected sex and MAKE A BABY.

    Look, it's no one else's fault that you file for any type of welfare. You applied for welfare not because of him, but because you broke CC's rule of life #2:

    Don't have any more children than you can afford to support ON YOUR OWN.
  6. #6
    Tinkster1020 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by empress1223 View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

    My children's father refused to help me much so I had to apply for food stamps. Applying for food stamps makes you start the child support enforcement (CSE). He has helped me somewhat in the past with the kids but with my salary from 2 jobs I still can't make ends meet. He did give me about $300 a month ago but then asked for $60 back a couple days after . All I asked from him was to keep the kids 3 days a week so that daycare costs can be shifted to other bills and he refused. Why? Because I decided to send my son to daycare for one day. I take home $710 every two weeks from my full-time job and avg $86 from part-time job a week and he gets $1050 working only 1 job. Daycare costs about $800 a month and one of the kids are 5 months old so you know the expenses involved in that. He threatened to get fired from his job unless I take it off. Needless to say, after only one week of being told about CSE, he got fired! And somehow this is all my fault?! Now he's persistant in wanting me to cancel the proceedings (its only been almost 2 weeks since I started cooperating with CSE).

    My oldest is 9 years old and I never had to take him for child support. I've always been able to swing it on my own with no outside help other than the occational gift to my kids from my parents. Never did I think the day would come I would have to apply for state assistance. Even worse I never thought I'd have to go through child support. I guess I put myself in this space because I used to let him get away with not being around to help take care of our kids. I never asked him for a dime in the past. Oh well.

    My question is: Is there a way to kinda mediate with CSE without going to court. 2nd question is: does anyone know if mediation affect food stamps?
    CSE will eventually take him to court and hopefully get an order for him to seek work.
    Its not the other posters job or any of their business how many kids you have or if you get pregnant. This is a legal advice forum, my advice pay no attention to the negativity. IF YOU feel you are in over your head maybe you might want to discuss your options regarding birth control, thats YOUR choice.
    To my knowledge CSE does not mediate however you can go through mediation at the courthouse. If he is giving you money and you are giving it back to him, you may want to think long and hard about doing that, its literally coming straight out of your kids mouth. BTW theres nothing wrong with going through child support, its the duty and responsibility of BOTH parents to support their children.
  7. #7
    empress1223 is offline Junior Member
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    Thank you Tinkster and Isis1. I appreciate your comments. I thought this WAS a legal forum.

    @courtclerk and bluemeanie--if you can't give advice don't respond to someone's post.
  8. #8
    Gracie3787 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by empress1223 View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

    My children's father refused to help me much so I had to apply for food stamps. Applying for food stamps makes you start the child support enforcement (CSE). He has helped me somewhat in the past with the kids but with my salary from 2 jobs I still can't make ends meet. He did give me about $300 a month ago but then asked for $60 back a couple days after . All I asked from him was to keep the kids 3 days a week so that daycare costs can be shifted to other bills and he refused. Why? Because I decided to send my son to daycare for one day. I take home $710 every two weeks from my full-time job and avg $86 from part-time job a week and he gets $1050 working only 1 job. Daycare costs about $800 a month and one of the kids are 5 months old so you know the expenses involved in that. He threatened to get fired from his job unless I take it off. Needless to say, after only one week of being told about CSE, he got fired! And somehow this is all my fault?! Now he's persistant in wanting me to cancel the proceedings (its only been almost 2 weeks since I started cooperating with CSE).

    My oldest is 9 years old and I never had to take him for child support. I've always been able to swing it on my own with no outside help other than the occational gift to my kids from my parents. Never did I think the day would come I would have to apply for state assistance. Even worse I never thought I'd have to go through child support. I guess I put myself in this space because I used to let him get away with not being around to help take care of our kids. I never asked him for a dime in the past. Oh well.

    My question is: Is there a way to kinda mediate with CSE without going to court. 2nd question is: does anyone know if mediation affect food stamps?
    If this is a case that has been filed with the court, mediation is required even when the DOR CSE is involved, unless nothing is contested by your ex.

    Mediation itself will not affect your foodstamp amount, however, any CS that is court ordered and paid to you can affect the amount of foodstamps that you recieve.
  9. #9
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tinkster1020 View Post
    Its not the other posters job or any of their business how many kids you have or if you get pregnant.
    I beg to differ. When someone is unable to support the children they already have and expects the taxpayers to support them? The taxpayers (aka us) have every right to object to yet more kids being brought into the world.
  10. #10
    isaiahsmom is offline Member
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    Hmm, I have a related question. The OP was forced to file for support because she applied for foodstamps. I see she is in Florida. Is this pretty standard throughout all states? What about PA?
  11. #11
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by isaiahsmom View Post
    Hmm, I have a related question. The OP was forced to file for support because she applied for foodstamps. I see she is in Florida. Is this pretty standard throughout all states? What about PA?
    You know, i WANT to say yes, but i have a friend out in PA and they ASKED her if she wanted to persue support. She declined for a whole year since he wasn't working. This was while she was receiving food stamps. It was only a few months ago that she asked them to start the child support. So, maybe not.
  12. #12
    jbowman is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by stealth2 View Post
    I beg to differ. When someone is unable to support the children they already have and expects the taxpayers to support them? The taxpayers (aka us) have every right to object to yet more kids being brought into the world.
    Not to be rude Stealth but yes, we can object but the objection should be done to your congressman or similar. The welfare system was set up for people that need help - and I dont only mean "help" in terms of financial support - its help for people that just clearly cant or do not know how to help themselves.

    So yes, you can object and make people feel like crap but if we suddenly and miraculously are no longer taxed for welfare benefits to needy people because of your complaints, it is highly unlikely you'd stopped being taxed altogether. The state and govt would always have another reason to take your 20%. I mean, you dont think you'd get a refund, do you? Or a tax cut?
  13. #13
    isaiahsmom is offline Member
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    Okay, so is it possible that at some point in the future the state (PA) can decide to require the NCP to reimburse them for any benefits they paid? Or is that something that would be handled immediately?
  14. #14
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by isaiahsmom View Post
    Okay, so is it possible that at some point in the future the state (PA) can decide to require the NCP to reimburse them for any benefits they paid? Or is that something that would be handled immediately?
    Hmmm, see. I think there is a misconception. From my understanding, the state doesn't get paid back for foodstamps. The foodstamp amount gets dropped, but the ncp doesn't back pay. That is in the case of foodstamp only. Welfare, runs a different story.
  15. #15
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Isis1 View Post
    Hmmm, see. I think there is a misconception. From my understanding, the state doesn't get paid back for foodstamps. The foodstamp amount gets dropped, but the ncp doesn't back pay. That is in the case of foodstamp only. Welfare, runs a different story.
    That is the way that it works in my state, but I think that it may vary from state to state.

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