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  1. #1
    denelles is offline Junior Member
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    Question Child Support and Food Stamps?

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

    I pay my ex child support for my two sons. In fact, I typically round up my payment and pay with every pay period versus twice a month as we agreed. We have an active child support order and marital settlement agreement on file with the court. I should mention, I have the kids at least 50% of the time or more and I also pay their health insurance and I pay his cell phone and their cell phones and his car insurance. Just because I know he needs the help--he's been unemployed for some time. I say all this to be sure everyone understands I'm NOT a deadbeat who doesn't pay child support.

    SO he has been receiving food stamps because of his lack of consistent work.

    So today I received a summons from the DOR acknowledging that I am current on child support payments, but saying they are seeking to modify my child support order so that I pay THEM every two weeks (presumably they will pay him?) instead of him and for this privilege, I should pay their reasonable attorney fees. According to him, he had to allow them to do this in order to continue to get food stamps. Again, I am not behind on anything, how can they force me to do something I'm already doing but differently?

    Now I have 20 days to file a response. Here's the thing, I don't begrudge him the child support, I have always paid it (and then some), but do I have any recourse against paying the child support through the state? I mean I guess it's the same to me either way, but I'd rather continue to pay him as I have over the years. And this seems like a collosal waste of taxpaper money by seeking an order to force me to do something I'm already doing DIFFERENTLY. Further, is there a chance they'll actually require me to pay attorney's fees for this?

    Okay, so essentially my questions are: 1) What do I do next? I believe I've found the appropriate answer form online, which I believe I have to affirm, deny or have no knowlege of each of their allegations. But that form does not allow me to respond to their remedy requests. SO 2) Should I even bother to respond since I don't have a problem with paying the state if that's what I'm going to have to do (despite the fact that on principal I find it a waste of taxpayer $$)? and 3) If I do file the answer, will I have an opportunity to either mediate or settle this matter before a hearing? The lawyer who filed it refuses to speak to me about settlement to avoid the need for a hearig.

    Thanks in advance for any insights. I'm having trouble digging up anything of benefit online.
  2. #2
    mistoffolees is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by denelles View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

    I pay my ex child support for my two sons. In fact, I typically round up my payment and pay with every pay period versus twice a month as we agreed. We have an active child support order and marital settlement agreement on file with the court. I should mention, I have the kids at least 50% of the time or more and I also pay their health insurance and I pay his cell phone and their cell phones and his car insurance. Just because I know he needs the help--he's been unemployed for some time. I say all this to be sure everyone understands I'm NOT a deadbeat who doesn't pay child support.

    SO he has been receiving food stamps because of his lack of consistent work.

    So today I received a summons from the DOR acknowledging that I am current on child support payments, but saying they are seeking to modify my child support order so that I pay THEM every two weeks (presumably they will pay him?) instead of him and for this privilege, I should pay their reasonable attorney fees. According to him, he had to allow them to do this in order to continue to get food stamps. Again, I am not behind on anything, how can they force me to do something I'm already doing but differently?

    Now I have 20 days to file a response. Here's the thing, I don't begrudge him the child support, I have always paid it (and then some), but do I have any recourse against paying the child support through the state? I mean I guess it's the same to me either way, but I'd rather continue to pay him as I have over the years. And this seems like a collosal waste of taxpaper money by seeking an order to force me to do something I'm already doing DIFFERENTLY. Further, is there a chance they'll actually require me to pay attorney's fees for this?

    Okay, so essentially my questions are: 1) What do I do next? I believe I've found the appropriate answer form online, which I believe I have to affirm, deny or have no knowlege of each of their allegations. But that form does not allow me to respond to their remedy requests. SO 2) Should I even bother to respond since I don't have a problem with paying the state if that's what I'm going to have to do (despite the fact that on principal I find it a waste of taxpayer $$)? and 3) If I do file the answer, will I have an opportunity to either mediate or settle this matter before a hearing? The lawyer who filed it refuses to speak to me about settlement to avoid the need for a hearig.

    Thanks in advance for any insights. I'm having trouble digging up anything of benefit online.
    They are well within their rights to do what they're doing. Since he is receiving state aid, the state can try to collect it from you. HOWEVER, the total amount should not exceed your state maxima. And since you are current, you should be able to fight their attempt to collect legal fees.

    1. Yes, you affirm or deny everything they state. There should be a place to respond to the remedy requests.
    2. If you don't respond, the state gets whatever they ask for - even if it's totally unreasonable. Essentially, you might as well agree to simply deposit your paycheck into the state's account. If you agree with what they're asking for, you can, of course, agree and skip the trial. But they're probably asking for more than they're entitled to.
    3. You'll have to look up the rules in your state. Or call the court clerk to get the rules. Or see if your state has a self-help center.

    I would certainly talk with an attorney. A quick consultation won't be very expensive - or might be free.
  3. #3
    denelles is offline Junior Member
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    mistoffolees -- Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. That's exactly what I needed: some clarity from an unbiased source. And I think you're right, I'll call an attorney today as the form I have doesn't allow me to rebut the remedies.
  4. #4
    Antigone* is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by denelles View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

    I pay my ex child support for my two sons. In fact, I typically round up my payment and pay with every pay period versus twice a month as we agreed. We have an active child support order and marital settlement agreement on file with the court. I should mention, I have the kids at least 50% of the time or more and I also pay their health insurance and I pay his cell phone and their cell phones and his car insurance. Just because I know he needs the help--he's been unemployed for some time. I say all this to be sure everyone understands I'm NOT a deadbeat who doesn't pay child support.

    SO he has been receiving food stamps because of his lack of consistent work.

    So today I received a summons from the DOR acknowledging that I am current on child support payments, but saying they are seeking to modify my child support order so that I pay THEM every two weeks (presumably they will pay him?) instead of him and for this privilege, I should pay their reasonable attorney fees. According to him, he had to allow them to do this in order to continue to get food stamps. Again, I am not behind on anything, how can they force me to do something I'm already doing but differently?

    Now I have 20 days to file a response. Here's the thing, I don't begrudge him the child support, I have always paid it (and then some), but do I have any recourse against paying the child support through the state? I mean I guess it's the same to me either way, but I'd rather continue to pay him as I have over the years. And this seems like a collosal waste of taxpaper money by seeking an order to force me to do something I'm already doing DIFFERENTLY. Further, is there a chance they'll actually require me to pay attorney's fees for this?

    Okay, so essentially my questions are: 1) What do I do next? I believe I've found the appropriate answer form online, which I believe I have to affirm, deny or have no knowlege of each of their allegations. But that form does not allow me to respond to their remedy requests. SO 2) Should I even bother to respond since I don't have a problem with paying the state if that's what I'm going to have to do (despite the fact that on principal I find it a waste of taxpayer $$)? and 3) If I do file the answer, will I have an opportunity to either mediate or settle this matter before a hearing? The lawyer who filed it refuses to speak to me about settlement to avoid the need for a hearig.

    Thanks in advance for any insights. I'm having trouble digging up anything of benefit online.
    1 ~ File your response with the court.
    2 ~ Yes, you should absolutely respond.

    Something you should know, the cash payment to your children's father may very well go down and yours may go up. This is because you will be reimbursing the State for the aid he is getting.

    If this man is having to get food stamps to survive, what on earth are they doing with cell phones.

    Reality is just about to smack all of you in the face.
  5. #5
    denelles is offline Junior Member
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    How did I know someone would have to pipe in with some BS that has nothing to do with the question so that they could assert how much better they are than someone divorced who has to pay child support or than someone who needs food stamps?

    Genius, they have cell phones because their MOM can afford to pay for them AND pay her child support AND give them a good life. And they have no HOME phone so he uses it for work and I use their phones to stay in touch with them. These are MY children and I want them to live well when they're with me and when they're with their Dad, so they have other extravagances too ::gasp::. I want their Dad to be able to find a job so I pay for his phone. I want him not to die in a car accident, so I pay his car insurance.

    Thanks for piping in with your nonsense warning about reality, but I don't think you were paying attention. It's not possible for my child support to go up, I already pay MORE than the state mandated maximum. And in fact, I give him EVEN more than that anyway by paying his car & life insurance and cell phone and paying him for 26 pay periods versus 24. The state is actually asking to modify it DOWN. I'm not afraid of reality, I live it.
  6. #6
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by denelles View Post
    How did I know someone would have to pipe in with some BS that has nothing to do with the question so that they could assert how much better they are than someone divorced who has to pay child support or than someone who needs food stamps?

    Genius, they have cell phones because their MOM can afford to pay for them AND pay her child support AND give them a good life. And they have no HOME phone so he uses it for work and I use their phones to stay in touch with them. These are MY children and I want them to live well when they're with me and when they're with their Dad, so they have other extravagances too ::gasp::. I want their Dad to be able to find a job so I pay for his phone. I want him not to die in a car accident, so I pay his car insurance.

    Thanks for piping in with your nonsense warning about reality, but I don't think you were paying attention. It's not possible for my child support to go up, I already pay MORE than the state mandated maximum. And in fact, I give him EVEN more than that anyway by paying his car & life insurance and cell phone and paying him for 26 pay periods versus 24. The state is actually asking to modify it DOWN. I'm not afraid of reality, I live it.
    Seriously, your rudeness not necessary. You were recieving true and correct information. The fact that you didn't like it is on you.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  7. #7
    denelles is offline Junior Member
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    Really? My rudeness was not necessary? I was receiving true and correct information? So this is true and correct?

    If this man is having to get food stamps to survive, what on earth are they doing with cell phones.

    Reality is just about to smack all of you in the face.
    I am tired of people hopping on here to assert their superiority. Please just answer the question or don't, no one needs you to tell them how much better you are than them!
  8. #8
    Antigone* is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by denelles View Post
    Really? My rudeness was not necessary? I was receiving true and correct information? So this is true and correct?



    I am tired of people hopping on here to assert their superiority. Please just answer the question or don't, no one needs you to tell them how much better you are than them!
    I was not asserting my superiority at all. However at this point I think I shall look down and say tsk tsk tsk.

    ~tigi out

    ...side note: and to think our friend wirelessany1 was once nice to this commoner.
  9. #9
    Alex1176 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antigone*of*Greece View Post

    If this man is having to get food stamps to survive, what on earth are they doing with cell phones.
    We are not at 1983, when cellphone costed 3995$ in 1983 dollars. I bought mine few months ago for 9.99$.
  10. #10
    Antigone* is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alex1176 View Post
    We are not at 1983, when cellphone costed 3995$ in 1983 dollars. I bought mine few months ago for 9.99$.
    tigi back in to deal with this idiocy

    hello McFly your phone may have cost that much, but your monthly service does not. A landline's service, however can cost as little as $20 a month.

    Truth be told a wireless phone is still a luxury.

    ~ tigi back out
  11. #11
    Alex1176 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antigone*of*Greece View Post
    tigi back in to deal with this idiocy

    hello McFly your phone may have cost that much, but your monthly service does not. A landline's service, however can cost as little as $20 a month.

    Truth be told a wireless phone is still a luxury.

    ~ tigi back out
    My monthly expenses are few bucks a month (5-6$), because it's a prepaid phone, and it's used only when Skype is out of reach (very very rare).
    And no, a basic phone is not a luxury in those days, unless you are writing from Somalia.
  12. #12
    denelles is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antigone*of*Greece View Post
    tigi back in to deal with this idiocy

    hello McFly your phone may have cost that much, but your monthly service does not. A landline's service, however can cost as little as $20 a month.

    Truth be told a wireless phone is still a luxury.

    ~ tigi back out
    I was thrilled to hear you were leaving with your Junior High drama--please do! No REALLY, though!

    But once again you are WRONG. I realize you are just so much smarter than the rest of us, but landline service is much more than $20 a month and you can not use it while driving truck, which is his profession. By contrast, his cell phone was FREE with a 2 year contract and costs ME $9.99/month since I already have cell service for MYSELF. Minutes are unlimited.

    He has food stamps and can't afford this luxury, remember? So I pay for it.

    Here's the thing, you are adding NOTHING to this conversation or question, so why do you continue to point out that this "luxury" is unwarranted by someone you've never met and you know nothing about, if you're NOT trying to assert your superiority? Seriously, please, just go away like you keep saying you will unless you have some real advice to give you are wasting our time and yours.
  13. #13
    Alex1176 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by denelles View Post
    I was thrilled to hear you were leaving with your Junior High drama--please do! No REALLY, though!

    But once again you are WRONG. I realize you are just so much smarter than the rest of us, but landline service is much more than $20 a month and you can not use it while driving truck, which is his profession. By contrast, his cell phone was FREE with a 2 year contract and costs ME $9.99/month since I already have cell service for MYSELF. Minutes are unlimited.

    He has food stamps and can't afford this luxury, remember? So I pay for it.

    Here's the thing, you are adding NOTHING to this conversation or question, so why do you continue to point out that this "luxury" is unwarranted by someone you've never met and you know nothing about, if you're NOT trying to assert your superiority? Seriously, please, just go away like you keep saying you will unless you have some real advice to give you are wasting our time and yours.
    Don't get angry, it's ok... Some people here think that they are some kind of Bible prophets that can teach everybody how to live and what to do.
    Yes, I also had this kind of plan. 9.99$ a month for additional phone, free minutes between the members and 1000 minutes a month.
  14. #14
    denelles is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alex1176 View Post
    Don't get angry, it's ok... Some people here think that they are some kind of Bible prophets that can teach everybody how to live and what to do.
    Yes, I also had this kind of plan. 9.99$ a month for additional phone, free minutes between the members and 1000 minutes a month.
    Thanks Alex! It's just frustrating because I'm in the middle of a really important life situation that involves the people I love the most (my kids) and I'm trying to do the best I can for them and someone has to jump in and insult ME and the father of my children--they've never even met me. They need to remember there are REAL PEOPLE and families behind these posts that they are insulting and it's hurtful.

    Nothing like kicking someone when they're down.

    Again, thanks for sticking up for me, and aside from this one bully, I have gotten a lot of help so far.
  15. #15
    Alex1176 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by denelles View Post
    Thanks Alex! It's just frustrating because I'm in the middle of a really important life situation that involves the people I love the most (my kids) and I'm trying to do the best I can for them and someone has to jump in and insult ME and the father of my children--they've never even met me. They need to remember there are REAL PEOPLE and families behind these posts that they are insulting and it's hurtful.

    Nothing like kicking someone when they're down.

    Again, thanks for sticking up for me, and aside from this one bully, I have gotten a lot of help so far.
    One bully? This is a "Pamplona Running" that happens every day... But I must admit that beside all of the bullying, the rudeness, and the judgments, there are some good advises too. Just take the gold out of the mud.

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