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Child Support AND Half of all College Expenses?

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rennocb

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? MS

In my state, I'm required to continue to pay CS until my child reaches the age of 21, unless otherwise emancipated by getting married, taking a job and moving out on their own, etc. If the child decides to go to college, eventhough they move to another state to do so, I'm bound to continue paying full child support, PLUS half of all college expenses. How fair is this? Nevermind that I'm not going to be able to afford $23,000 a year for tuition at the university they're looking at right now, I'll still be paying $400 a month to a household that this child isn't even living in. Plus I'm expected to pay half of dorm expenses, food, books, transporation and everything else under the sun.

My spouse is in the same situiation. Their child is a year behind mine. We have one child that lives with us. But by the time the other two get done milking us for everything we have, there'll be nothing left for the youngest. Neither of us has any control over the two oldest children's high school education. No control over scolarship applications. No control over where they choose to go to college, they can pick the most expensive instutition in the country and we're still obligated to pay no matter what. We have one year left before the wheels of this states fine court system begin to tighten the screws and we are ruined financially. Pay, Pay, Pay, Pay, Pay.

I'm all for taking responsibility for one's own children. However, if my spouse and I were still married to our former husband/wife, these children would not be attending colleges that their parents could not afford. They would have to get jobs, apply for student loans or grants, work toward scholarships while in high school. But, since they are children of divorced parents, they've been given a free ticket to be selfish. And their custodial parents have been given a bonus in the state of Mississippi by being able to keep collecting child support to supplement their "half" of college expenses.What is the name of your state?
 


Neal1421

Senior Member
rennocb said:
What is the name of your state? MS

In my state, I'm required to continue to pay CS until my child reaches the age of 21, unless otherwise emancipated by getting married, taking a job and moving out on their own, etc. If the child decides to go to college, eventhough they move to another state to do so, I'm bound to continue paying full child support, PLUS half of all college expenses. How fair is this? Nevermind that I'm not going to be able to afford $23,000 a year for tuition at the university they're looking at right now, I'll still be paying $400 a month to a household that this child isn't even living in. Plus I'm expected to pay half of dorm expenses, food, books, transporation and everything else under the sun.

My spouse is in the same situiation. Their child is a year behind mine. We have one child that lives with us. But by the time the other two get done milking us for everything we have, there'll be nothing left for the youngest. Neither of us has any control over the two oldest children's high school education. No control over scolarship applications. No control over where they choose to go to college, they can pick the most expensive instutition in the country and we're still obligated to pay no matter what. We have one year left before the wheels of this states fine court system begin to tighten the screws and we are ruined financially. Pay, Pay, Pay, Pay, Pay.

I'm all for taking responsibility for one's own children. However, if my spouse and I were still married to our former husband/wife, these children would not be attending colleges that their parents could not afford. They would have to get jobs, apply for student loans or grants, work toward scholarships while in high school. But, since they are children of divorced parents, they've been given a free ticket to be selfish. And their custodial parents have been given a bonus in the state of Mississippi by being able to keep collecting child support to supplement their "half" of college expenses.What is the name of your state?
Is your paying half of college expenses in your order?
 
I think it is your job

to teach your children not to be selfish. Then they don't claim the "free ticket" that was given to them.

And my guess is that you and your spouse both knew about the obligation to these selfish brats you spawned with your exes before you decided to procreate again. So whose fault is it that they will have nothing? Just make sure you don't divorce this one before your child support obligations are behind you. :rolleyes:
 

rennocb

Junior Member
baystategirl...

Thanks for your reply. I guess my question is, are there any limitations or guidelines in this sutiation? Will I really have to pay whatever my child and ex say? If the expenses exceed half or all of my income, do I just keep accumulating debt over this obligation? Do I have any rights or am I just a door mat?
 

Neal1421

Senior Member
rennocb said:
Thanks for your reply. I guess my question is, are there any limitations or guidelines in this sutiation? Will I really have to pay whatever my child and ex say? If the expenses exceed half or all of my income, do I just keep accumulating debt over this obligation? Do I have any rights or am I just a door mat?
Again, does your order say that you are to pay 1/2 of the college expenses?
 

rennocb

Junior Member
Neal1421...

Thanks for your reply. Yes, the original court order from the divorce 8 years ago says we each are responsible for half of all college expenses. It sounded like a good idea at the time. I always figured on helping my children further their education. After all, I took it upon myself to send them to private middle school with no contribution from my ex. I guess in a perfect world where two adults can get along and be reasonable and respectful of each other, these issues wouldn't be so inflamatory. But, then again, if I had been married to someone reasonable and respectful, I wouldn't have gotten divorced.
 

Neal1421

Senior Member
rennocb said:
Thanks for your reply. Yes, the original court order from the divorce 8 years ago says we each are responsible for half of all college expenses. It sounded like a good idea at the time. I always figured on helping my children further their education. After all, I took it upon myself to send them to private middle school with no contribution from my ex. I guess in a perfect world where two adults can get along and be reasonable and respectful of each other, these issues wouldn't be so inflamatory. But, then again, if I had been married to someone reasonable and respectful, I wouldn't have gotten divorced.
You should not have agreed to that, but since you did there is nothing you can do about it. Try to encorage your daughter and your step daughter to look into scholarships and financail aid, that's about all you can do.

On a side note, you have known about this expense since the divorce 8 years ago and now you are getting concerned? The smart thing to do would have been to start saving for this as soon as you got the order.
 

rennocb

Junior Member
Ithildriel...

There's no need to be ugly. The youngest child I mentioned was not a decision to "procreate again" with my current spouse. Both my children have the same parents. And they have been taught not to be selfish. I did the best I could raising them in a wholesome christian home. My current spouse and I both had the misfortune of being married to two completely selfish, irresponsible people the first time around. Unfortunately, their influence is, and always will be, present for our children. Since you can't know all the circumstances surrounding a situation, do you think it's possible to offer constructive advice here instead of making cutting remarks?
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
rennocb said:
There's no need to be ugly. The youngest child I mentioned was not a decision to "procreate again" with my current spouse. Both my children have the same parents. And they have been taught not to be selfish. I did the best I could raising them in a wholesome christian home. My current spouse and I both had the misfortune of being married to two completely selfish, irresponsible people the first time around. Unfortunately, their influence is, and always will be, present for our children. Since you can't know all the circumstances surrounding a situation, do you think it's possible to offer constructive advice here instead of making cutting remarks?
Dude. Ith is not making ugly or crude or cutting remarks. It's a valid legal question, one a judge or magistrate will happily throw at you. If you had bothered to do some research around this site, you would know that. But you didn't bother....cuz you're too special for rules.

The facts, so far as we know from what you've posted, show that you are under court order to pay half of college. So go pay it. That's your deal, that's your situation.
 

rennocb

Junior Member
Neal1421...

The reason for the concern now is that up until recently, this child lived with me. At 16 she began sneaking out her window to be with the 19 year old high school dropout that lives down the street. I tried to put a stop to it and my ex gave her sancturary. A judge agreed that she was old enough to make her own decisions and agreed to her request to go and live with my ex. Now she has the freedom to do whatever she pleases.

I had her in private school and was guiding her toward good grades, high ACT's, scholarships and imposed boundaries and limitations. When I had control over those things, paying for half of her college expenses, or even all her college expenses seemed perfectly fine. I never dreamed this child would break my heart and enlist my ex to walk all over me. There's a reason God despises divorce. It destroys lives.
 

MandyD

Member
I don't know the answer to this question and that is why I'm asking it. When an order speaks of half the college expenses, wouldn't that be AFTER the FAFSA has been filled out and processed? If FAFSA calculates that the parents responsibility should be, let's say, $5000, then wouldn't the OP only owe half of that and not half of the entire tuition?
 

rennocb

Junior Member
SilverPlum...

And Ithildriel's valid leagal question was... "So whose fault is it that they will have nothing?" Sorry, can't imagine a judge "throwing" that one at me. Also, and I mean this sincerely, what rules I'm I apparently "too special" for?
 

Neal1421

Senior Member
MandyD said:
I don't know the answer to this question and that is why I'm asking it.

Usually, that is why people ask questions

When an order speaks of half the college expenses, wouldn't that be AFTER the FAFSA has been filled out and processed?

No, they are not required to apply for financial aid although they should be.

If FAFSA calculates that the parents responsibility should be, let's say, $5000, then wouldn't the OP only owe half of that and not half of the entire tuition?
The child does not have to apply for financial aid.
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
rennocb said:
And Ithildriel's valid leagal question was... "So whose fault is it that they will have nothing?" Sorry, can't imagine a judge "throwing" that one at me. Also, and I mean this sincerely, what rules I'm I apparently "too special" for?
Start imagining.

And the rules you did not follow are contained in the info you agreed to when you signed up to this site: one of which is to DO RESEARCH before you ask a question that has been asked and answered and asked and answered and asked and answered**************..:rolleyes:
 

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